Honest
by StephanieWithAnA
Summary: "Keegan!" Paul called as Embry waved.  I stared at the two boys standing near my locker and sighed. They were both beautiful, but complete opposites.  Paul was brash, cocky, and made me quiver with anticipation. Embry was sweet, made me smile, and was helping mend my heart after Paul had shredded it. I could only choose one.  It shouldn't be this difficult...should it? [AH]
1. 1 - About Getting Harder

**Honest: 1- About Getting Harder**

"Harder," he growled. "Come on, Keegan. You know how I like it."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed harder, trying to give him exactly what he wanted. "Is that better?" I asked breathlessly.

Paul sucked in a deep breath and groaned. "You can do better than that, Kee."

I leaned forward, giving him a little more pressure. "It hurts, Paul. Let's try again later," I offered weakly, knowing I could never tell him no, especially when he was so close.

"Please."

That's all he had to say. I was powerless to stop when that sweet word came rolling off his tongue. There was just something about Paul Lahote and that sexy voice of his that I just couldn't shake. I didn't know how to tell him no. He had a power over me that I'd been trying to shake for the last three years.

"Just a little more," he begged as his fingers hooked behind my knees and his nails dug into my flesh.

I tried to ignore the tight feeling in my chest when I felt his fingers on my skin. The last few months had been unbearable. After keeping all my growing feelings for Paul all to myself for the past three years, I sort of decided to do something about it. Of course, nothing I had tried so far had made Paul see me as anything other than his best friend of the past 11 years. Even when I tried to make him jealous by making sure he saw me talking to Connor Adams, Paul still resisted me...even though I knew it bugged him.

"You'd do it for Connor," he goaded, as if he could read my mind.

I pulled my hands back and Paul whined in response. "What did you just say?" I demanded. "My relationship with Conner is none of your business."

"Oh, it's a relationship now?" he scoffed. "Does that mean he finally grew a pair and asked you out?"

"Why do you care?" I asked softly, wishing it meant what it sounded like.

"I don't," he answered defensively. "I just think you could do better than _him._"

I smiled at a little at his response because it _almost _sounded like he was jealous. I put my hands back on his muscular flesh and bit my lip when I heard him sigh. "You act like there are so many good options. Have you seen the guys that go to our school?"

"You're pretty, Keegan. You don't have to settle for the first guy who shows you some attention," he breathed softly.

"I'm a freak. You know that. You've been keeping me from being bullied since I was five."

"A little harder," he urged, his voice breathless.

I gave in to his demand for more pressure as I put all my strength into my elbow, kneading out the huge knot in his shoulder blade. I lowered my mouth to his ear and used my most seductive voice when I asked him, "How's that feel?"

He chuckled, his voice low and gravelly. "Too good to be true."

Now I chuckled. I liked being in control of him, even if it was just when he wanted a back massage. I pushed just a little harder and he growled. "That's the spot. Don't stop, Kee." I rotated my elbow around in a circle until he panted, "Oh, God. Too much! You got it."

I laughed as I climbed off of him. "Wow, Paul. I can only imagine what your mom thinks we're doing in here."

He sucked in a deep breath and chuckled as he rolled over and sat up against his headboard. I kept a safe distance between us as I sat on his bed and leaned against the wall with my knees pulled up to my chest. Honestly, my nipples were rock hard from all his moaning and I couldn't take his teasing if he noticed.

I watched him as he dropped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. He rubbed his hands over his face and chuckled. "You know the reason why I don't want you to find a boyfriend, right?"

I blinked quickly at him as his gaze drifted over to me. I shrugged and forced a smile as my chest clenched tightly in anticipation. "I have no idea," I prodded.

He slid his enormous hand around my waist and pulled me close to him, manipulating my legs to straddle his lap. He pulled my right hand into his and began massaging the muscle between my thumb and forefinger. "Is this where it hurts?" he asked, focusing all his energy into kneading the muscles in my hand as my eyes poured over him.

"Yeah, right there," I replied, trying to hide the hitch in my breath as he touched my skin.

He peered up at me and smiled a little. "If you get a boyfriend, there's no way he'll let you come over here and work on my back...or spend the night," he added with a gleam in his eye.

"Yeah," I sighed quickly, trying to hold my breath so he couldn't hear me panting. "It's bad enough that most people think we're fucking anyway."

Paul's eyes snapped to mine and he smirked. "Wishful thinking on your part, huh?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes hard and shook my head. "You've gotta be the cockiest bastard I've ever met."

"It's your fantasy," he teased. Ever since I woke Paul up moaning his name during one of my wet dreams about him, he wouldn't let up teasing me about it.

I pulled my hand from his grasp and pushed on his chest. "I'm outta here," I grumbled as I climbed off his lap and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Oh my God, Keegan. It was just a joke."

"Leave me alone," I told him as I started shoving my books into my bag. We had started out studying before he convinced me to work on his back. It didn't take much to convince me considering I loved touching his bare skin. Every time he took his shirt off in front of me here lately, I had to remind myself to breathe. It seemed like every day he was getting bigger, more muscular, more definition in his arms, and his abs were so pronounced that I often found it difficult not to touch them.

Yep. I had a serious problem.

"You can't go yet," he practically whined. "You always sleep over on Saturday nights."

"We're getting too old to do this, Paul. It's not normal." I meant it too. Who sleeps over with a boy when you're 16 years old?

"You didn't act like this before, Kee. Is it because you've got this massive crush on me?" he teased. "I know I'm irresistible, but damn…"

I tossed my bag down and tackled him. "Oh fuck off, Paul!" I exclaimed, attacking his ribs with vicious tickles as he squirmed under me.

I knew him well enough to know just where to attack him and he was just strong enough to get the upper hand with little to no effort. He pushed me back, climbing on top of me and washing me between him and the mattress. "Let me go!" I squealed as he pinned his hands over my head and straddled my legs with his overly muscular thighs. The look in his eyes was almost… predatory.

"Fine," he huffed after another minute of his intense, animalistic staring. But he didn't move off me.

"You see something you like?" I teased, using one of his cocky phrases against him.

He blinked quickly. Shit. I got him. "Speechless? That's new," I murmured softly.

He smirked and nibbled his lower lip. Feeling even more brave, I reached up, slid my hands behind his back and dragged my nails over his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and fell forward, planting his hands on the bed, on either side of my face. "Quit fucking with me," he gasped quietly.

"Am I?" I teased, digging a little harder as my nails trailed up his back and down again. "I didn't realize this bothered you."

He shuddered slightly as I raked my fingers through his hair and pulled gently. "Fuck," he mumbled as he lowered his mouth to my neck, his body still hovering above mine.

I froze when he began dragging his lips along my collarbone and back up to my earlobe. I made fists in his hair and let my eyes fall closed when I heard him say, "Does that feel good?"

I swallowed thickly and didn't respond, for fear he was just messing with me and taking delight in the fact that I was completely turned on. "Paul, wait...what are we doing?"

"I don't know," he hummed against my skin.

It took all my strength to push him away. I hated to do it. Paul was all I thought of, all I had wanted for so long. But I didn't want anything else to happen between us unless it was for the right reasons. "Paul…"

He lazily raised his head and gazed down at me. "Yeah?" he replied, his voice husky with desire.

"We should talk."

...

A/N: this will be a love triangle fic! It will also be all human with the characters from Twilight. Let me know what you think so far!


	2. 2 - About Strength

**Honest: 2 - About Strength**

It took all my strength to push him away. I hated to do it. Paul was all I thought of, all I had wanted for so long. But I didn't want anything else to happen between us unless it was for the right reasons. "Paul…"

He lazily raised his head and gazed down at me. "Yeah?" he replied dreamily, his voice husky with desire.

"We should talk."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"Can you...let me up?" I asked gently, pressing on his naked chest. This conversation was difficult enough without the temptation of his gorgeous, tanned body clouding my decision.

He climbed off of me and I sat in front of him with my legs crossed. "What's wrong?" he finally asked when I didn't say anything.

I wrung my hands nervously and looked around his room, needing something else to focus on other than that killer smile of his. "I just don't know what's going on between us right now. You've been so against us being anything other than friends. What's the deal?"

Paul just shrugged and smirked. "I'm curious...and turned on. Don't you wanna know what it would be like?" he asked, reaching for the side of my face.

I covered his hand with mine and scowled. "No."

"No?" he challenged. "I think we both know that's not true."

I pulled his hand from my face and continued to scowl at him. "I don't wanna be part of some weird experiment and I definitely don't need your charity."

Paul scoffed. "Charity? I don't see it like that at all."

"Oh come on," I gruffed skeptically. "You've never seen me as anything other than your best friend and now all of a sudden, you're all over me? I don't buy it."

I didn't know where the self defensive tirade of mine was coming from but the way he was acting with me now, was freaking me out. We had never even kissed before. I knew he cared about me. He had been looking out for me since my parents adopted me when I was five.

Living on a reservation full of beautiful Quileute people, I stuck out like a sore thumb. My red hair was unique enough as it was but my alabaster skin made me really stand out from the native American russet faces I went to school with everyday. As long as I could remember, I was teased for being different. It didn't take long for me to complain to my best friend about the way I was being treated.

As we grew up together, Paul was always sticking up for me and took a few beatings too. He made sure that everyone knew we were friends, even when we were at an age when it wasn't cool to be friends with a girl. At around 10 years old, his guy friends turned on him and accused him of 'liking' me, which always made him mad.

Over and over again, he told people we were just friends. Even our parents, who had introduced us and been friends since high school, had it in their minds that we were destined to be a couple. But despite that, they never kept us from spending ridiculous amounts of time together, including these weekly sleepovers.

I kept telling myself to get over the ego-filled Paul Lahote. I loved him, I really did. Even if we never went beyond anything other than friends, he was still my most favorite person. If I had news, he was the first person I would call. If I had a problem, he was the one I needed to help me with it. Paul was it for me.

Over and over I told myself to ignore the ache in my heart that made me want to be more than friends. Last year, when we turned 15, Paul lost his virginity. I spent the whole weekend in my room crying. I hated the disappointment I felt every time I knew he had been with someone that wasn't me. I hated feeling that way. He wasn't mine. We were just friends. I just wanted more.

After Paul began sleeping around, I grew more distant, more angry. He told me about his conquests, like seriously? I then realized that he only saw me as one of the guys. I couldn't blame him. By all accounts, I was a tomboy. I thought my parents had always wished I had been a boy, from the name they gave me to all the sports they signed me up for to the way my room was decorated when I came to live with them.

I became more determined for Paul to see me. I started paying more attention to my looks. I ditched my messy ponytail in favor of straightening my long red locks and leaving a little curl on the ends. My pale face was in desperate need of some color so I started wearing a little eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow to define my eyes better. And of course some color and gloss on my lips never hurt.

Then came the changes to my wardrobe. I was always a jeans and t-shirt girl, favoring loose fitting clothes and never really showing off my figure. I ditched those clothes and began wearing skinny jeans, leggings and more form-fitting tops that showed my shoulders or had cutouts in the back. And of course the sports bra had to go. Being on the slightly larger side of a C cup, I quit hiding the girls in a bra that did nothing but smash them down. I began wearing bras that pushed my breasts up and out and it made a huge difference.

Pretty soon the boys at school were noticing me. All except for the one that mattered the most. The first time I walked into school after Spring break last year, I felt my stomach fluttering with anticipation as I approached Paul and some of his friends. He was popular, athletic, and good looking...a deadly combination. It wasn't uncommon to see him with a group of guys and girls too. But he always made time for me, made a point to speak to me.

I strolled down the hall with all the confidence I could muster, when his friend, Jared noticed me first. "Holy shit, what do we have here?" Jared began shoving the other guys aside to make room for me. "Hey, beautiful."

I blushed a little, already liking the attention I was getting from his other friends who had noticed me standing there. I stood in front of Paul and motioned for him to let me get to my locker. He scowled at me and sent his friends away. "What the hell are you doing?"

I laughed and swept my hair over my shoulder. "I'm...getting my books for class. Why, what's wrong?"

He leaned against the locker next to mine and let his eyes drag over me. "Why are you dressed like this? It's not Halloween."

I scoffed and turned to face him. "Wow really? I don't look any worse than all those girls you sleep with. Why is okay for them and not me?"

Paul looked flustered. "You're better than that. You want guys hitting on you?"

I smirked and nodded. "That wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I wanna be more than just Paul Lahote's best friend. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

Paul rolled his eyes and opened his own locker. He pulled out a hoodie and shoved it in my direction. "Put this on," he demanded.

I turned to face him, my hand firmly planted on my hip. "No."

"Please?"

"It's too hot for that. I'm not wearing it," I replied defiantly. "And what's wrong with how I look?"

Paul just glared at me and when his eyes lowered to my chest, he sighed. He leaned forward and whispered, "I can see your tits."

I looked down at my chest and smirked. "And?" I adjusted them and gauged his reaction. "How do they look?"

Paul swallowed thickly and shook his head. "Don't do this, Keegan."

A couple of senior boys walked by and paused when they passed by, turning and staring in appreciation. "Looking good, Red," one of them called as Paul scowled.

"Keep walking," Paul growled.

I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, making sure to sway my hips in a way he couldn't ignore. I even turned around just to make sure I had just full attention. Of course, all I saw was my pissed off best friend. A few minutes later, he was jogging to catch up to me.

I caught the eye of a boy in our class and as soon he started to drift my way, Paul slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me close to him. Paul pressed a kiss to my cheek and when he pulled back, I stared at him in a daze. "What the hell was that?"

Paul's eyes followed my would be admirer as he retreated quickly. A smile started to form at the corners of his mouth. "Nothing," he replied mischievously.

And that's how it went. Paul stuck closer to my side than ever, but nothing ever happened between us. No dates, no kisses, no declaration of feelings. We just continued to stay friends, even when I got drunk at a house party a few months ago and tried to kiss him. He rejected me gently, but it still stung.

And now here I was, Paul in front of me actually admitting he was turned on, by _me _of all people and I was questioning it. I watched as he scooted back from me and rested against his headboard once again.

"My feelings for you haven't changed 'all of a sudden,' Keegan."

I blinked quickly and shrugged. "What does that even mean?"

He sucked in a slow deep breath and began to speak again. "Do you remember when we were 13 and we went swimming at the beach?"

I nodded. I remembered it clearly. It was the first time I had worn a bikini. My breasts were finally developing into something I wasn't embarrassed for people to notice. I had always swam with a t-shirt on, but that day I had proudly tossed it aside and entered the water in only my new black and white bikini. It wasn't terribly revealing, but it got the boys' attention.

That was when I realized that Paul was the only one I wanted to impress. His friends teased him mercilessly. I could see him watching me as I played down by the surf. I wanted him to approach me, tell me he liked my suit or that I looked pretty. But all he did was glare at me.

"Yeah, I remember that."

Paul pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. "And you remember that I got mad at you and went home? And when you came to find me later, I was locked in the bathroom?"

I nodded as I felt a knot forming in my throat. "You screamed at me. You told me to go away...and you hated me," I choked out. It had been 3 years, but the pain of it never left me.

"I didn't hate you," he replied softly. "I was just embarrassed because of what I was doing when you came over."

I furrowed my brow for a second and Paul sighed loudly as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I was jerking off, Keegan...because I liked the way you looked. And it confused me because we had always been just friends. I was a mess."

He finally opened his eyes and stared at me. I lowered my gaze as I felt a blush creep up my neck and into my cheeks. "I didn't know that."

He chuckled. "I never wanted you to know that. I've been trying to resist you. When you wanted me to kiss you at that house party during Christmas break, I nearly gave in. I wanted to so badly. But you had been drinking and I was afraid you'd regret it later. I didn't think it was fair to you."

"That was months ago, Paul. You've had lots of opportunities to kiss me since then. Did you change your mind?"

Paul sighed softly, then he clenched and unclenched his jaw. I gasped when he leaned forward, slid his hands under my armpits and dragged my body up between his legs, to rest on his chest. His hands went immediately to my hair as he ran his fingers through my red waves. He pushed through to grip the back of my head, angling my face under his. He licked his lips and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

...

A/N: thanks for the wonderful review I received on this story so far! I'm excited for what's to come. Let me know what you think so far


	3. 3 - About Kissing

**Honest: 3 - About Kissing **

"That was months ago, Paul. You've had lots of opportunities to kiss me since then. Did you change your mind?"

Paul sighed softly, then he clenched and unclenched his jaw. I gasped when he leaned forward, slid his hands under my armpits and dragged my body up between his legs, to rest on his chest. His hands went immediately to my hair as he ran his fingers through my red waves. He pushed through to grip the back of my head, angling my face under his. He licked his lips and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

"I didn't change my mind, Kee. I just…" he paused and I noticed the way his eyes were locked on my mouth. "I just didn't wanna risk losing our friendship if things got weird. You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smiled softly and nodded. "I feel the same way, Paul." I turned my head and rested it on his firm chest. I slid my hands behind his back and held him close to me. His breathing sped up as he wrapped me in his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I smiled when I heard him breathe deeply, inhaling the scent of my hair.

I scooted up a little as I searched for my favorite place on his body. I buried my nose in the crook of his neck and sighed. Everytime he hugged me, that's where I longed to be. I felt his fingers smooth up my back and over my shoulders. I shuddered when his fingers tiptoed to the nape of my neck and carressed the soft hairs there. I could feel the heat pooling between my legs as he touched me. My need for more affection was making me ache deep in my core.

I dragged my lips along his jaw and waited just beyond the corner of his mouth. "Maybe we could try…"

"Just one kiss?" he breathed as he turned his head and his lips caught mine. The kiss started off tender and sweet. Our lips barely brushed each other, as we were both so hesitant and nervous.

When Paul pulled me closer, his hands pressed on the small of my back insistently. I pushed my hands over his shoulders and intertwined my fingers behind his head, needing to deepen the kiss. I caught his lower lip between my teeth a little and tugged lightly. When he opened his mouth to gasp, I slid my tongue into his mouth and melted into his arms.

When he cupped my ass and used his hands to spread my thighs, I straddled his lap. The tension deep in my core was building and without realizing it, I began to grind down on him, feeling how hard he was beneath me. "Oh, Paul," I breathed as I broke off the kiss and opened my eyes.

Paul sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and smirked. "You're a really kisser, Kee. Like, really good."

I lowered myself more into his lap and noticed the hitch in his breath when his erection continued to press into me. "I don't have as much experience as you do," I replied shyly.

When I started rocking my hips forward and gripping his shoulders tightly, my fingers digging into his flesh, he let his head fall back. I used that opportunity to lower my mouth to the hollow at the base of his throat and swirl my tongue around in it.

I surprised myself at my own boldness, but when you've fantasized about something for so long and you have the chance to do all those things you've wanted, it's really hard to hold back. "I want you," I announced suddenly when I was able to pull my mouth from his tempting skin.

Paul raised his head slowly, finding me pulling my tank top over my head and discarding it on the floor. He watched as I brought my hands to the front clasp of my pale pink lacy bra and opened it slowly. Paul panted as I unhooked the clasp and began to reveal what was underneath.

"Wait," he gasped softly, stilling my hands and assisting me in rehooking it.

I blinked quickly, my mind racing as to how I could've misread his signals. I thought he wanted me. "What's wrong?" I mused, self consciously covering my chest with my hands when I realized my shirt was too far away to grab.

Paul pulled my hands down and held them in his. "There's nothing wrong. I...I just need to admit something else to you before we go any further."

My heart sank. "Worse than the beach story?"

He nodded. Paul sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. "I hate to tell you this because I don't think you'll handle it very well. But it's only fair you know."

I stared at him expectantly and was surprised when he leaned forward to kiss me again. I accepted his tongue in my mouth and buried my fingers in his hair. He pulled away slowly, pressing his forehead to mine. "I just had to do that one more time...in case you decide you hate me."

I lifted my fingers to his face and sighed. "You're my most favorite person in the world, Paul. I can't imagine actually hating you. I've been pretty mad at you, but I've never _hated _you."

He rolled his eyes and made a face. "Well you might after this."

I furrowed my brow and leaned back a little. Paul noticed and his hands zeroed in on my hips, holding me tightly in his lap. I tried to concentrate when his thumbs started running circles on my skin.

"Are you gonna tell me this secret or what?" I urged.

Paul pressed his lips together and blew a deep breath out from his nose. "I'm the reason why you've never had a date," he announced suddenly. "For the past three years, anytime I noticed any guy taking an interest in you, I either threatened him so he's stay away or told him you were mine so he'd back off. I know how wrong that was now."

My mouth dropped open and I felt Paul's hold on me tighten. "I can't believe you did that…"

"Please don't hate me," he begged, attempting to pull me in for a hug. I let him hold me for a moment, taking comfort in the arms of the boy who had wounded me so deeply.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I pushed off of his chest and climbed out of his lap. "I don't get this at all. Do you hate me? Is that what this is?"

"Oh my God, no!" he exclaimed as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and gazed up at me. "I thought I was helping."

"Helping me?" I echoed as I paced the room, looking for my shirt. "How is it helping me when you've kept me from going on dates, or being asked out to dances or invited to parties? I've never even had a boyfriend, Paul!"

I watched as he reached down and retrieved my shirt from the floor. He approached me slowly, his eyes full of regret. "I don't hate you, Keegan. When I started scaring all those guys off, I told myself I was doing it for you, to keep you safe from creeps that could hurt you."

"You took away my choices, Paul! I'll never know who I could've met because you never let anyone get close enough to me to find out. You honestly think you were helping me?"

Paul twisted my shirt in his hands and sighed. "I know I wasn't. I was being a selfish dick...plain and simple."

I shook my head slowly, still trying to process everything. "I don't understand how you could do this to me?" I whimpered.

Paul's face contorted painfully at the sound of my voice. "I convinced myself I was protecting you. And a couple months ago, I realized that I did it for me. I kept those guys away because I couldn't stand the thought of you going out with anyone _but _me."

I blinked quickly as he stood close to me, towering over me, so close I could see the unshed tears in his eyes. "But you weren't going out with me. You never asked me out. And in the meantime, you've slept your way through half the girls in the junior class!"

He swallowed thickly and lowered his head. "I haven't slept with that many girls."

"And I've barely been kissed! We're gonna be 17 in a few months and I've been going around thinking…" I paused and dropped my gaze to the floor. I could feel the tears coming and I didn't want him to see me cry.

"Thinking what?" he urged as he lifted my chin gently, forcing me to meet his gaze.

I blinked back the tears and clenched my jaw. "I thought...I thought nobody wanted me. That I was too ugly to love. I mean, look at me. This red hair and my pale skin? I'm a freak. And since no boy has ever asked me out, it just confirmed what I always thought."

I stared at Paul and when he said nothing, I reached for my tank top, but he held it behind his back. "You're not ugly, Keegan… far from it. I know people tease you about being different, but it's just because they're jealous." He glanced down and sighed deeply before his eyes flicked back up to meet mine. "You're beautiful. And I can guarantee you that there's been lots of guys interested. And I'm on the top of that list."

I stepped closer and reached behind him in an effort to reach my shirt. He slid his other arm around me and buried his face in my neck. "Don't leave."

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned into his touch. He wrapped both arms around my waist and held me impossibly close. "Stay the night. We can talk about it. Just don't leave."

My heart ached from how badly I wanted to forgive him. His warm touch, the mind blowing kisses, his endless compliments, all of it made me want to say screw it and fall into his bed. This was all I had ever dreamed of. It was right here in front of me and all I had to do was overlook his deception and he could be mine.

If only it were that easy.

...

A/N: don't be shy! Leave a review and let me know what you think of this!


	4. 4 - About Letting Go

**Honest: 4 - About Letting Go**

"You have to let me go, Paul."

He sighed deeply, squeezing one more time before releasing me from his death grip. "Sorry," he muttered when his eyes met mine. I held my hand out for my shirt and he sheepishly handed it back.

I turned my back to him as I slid my tank top over my head. I felt him step up behind me, tugging on the hem and smoothing the fabric down. "I liked you better without it," he teased, cautiously placing his hands on my hips and resting his head on my shoulder.

I shrugged away from him and started collecting my things. "We can't always get what we want," I snarked.

Paul's eyes followed me around the room as I picked up my discarded backpack and the books that had fallen out when I dropped it. I turned to face him, only to find he was blocking the door and scowling. "You're leaving?"

I opened my eyes widely and nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Come on, Keegan. How long are you gonna stay mad at me?" he whined.

I cocked my head and sighed. "As long as it takes for you to realize you really fucked up, Paul. I mean, what was your endgame? Watching me die a virgin?"

"No! I wanted this, what we had before I told you. I've been dying to kiss you and see where this would lead. I've been working up the courage to tell you how I felt. Don't you even wanna see what we could have together?" He paused and lifted his hand to cradle the back of my neck. "I know you've wanted this for a while, Kee. Why are you gonna deny yourself something we both want?" he whispered huskily as his mouth neared mine.

I let my eyes drift closed, so damn tempted to forget my pride and just get lost in him. Before our lips could make contact, I pulled away and held him back with a flattened palm. "Do you realize how messed up it is that you _knew_ how badly I wanted you and you still kept me at a distance? And if you didn't want me, then why couldn't you just let me go?"

"I _did _want you. I was just too scared to do anything about it."

I scoffed. "You? Scared of a girl? You've never been afraid to approach a girl. If you were, you wouldn't have been banging all those girls in our class."

Paul grimaced. "I didn't." He paused and his facial expression changed to a smirk. "Rumors of my sexual conquests have been greatly exaggerated." His index finger tapped the tip of my nose before he added, "And you're jealous."

I rolled my eyes and tried to push past him. "Eat a dick, Paul."

He chuckled as I pathetically shoved him away from the door. He swung around to get behind me, pressing his palm to the door when I tried to open it. "We could be so good together," he promised, his voice low and growly.

"It's too late," I replied, trying my best not to get swept away by his hard body pressing against me from behind or the way his words sent electric shocks straight to my core. "Just let me go."

Paul huffed angrily and let go of the door. "Fine. But I'm driving you home."

"No you're not," I argued, sprinting down the hall and out the front door.

I only made it to the end of the driveway before Paul caught up to me. "Quit acting so tough," he urged as he used his strong arm to encircle my waist. "Just let me drive you."

I shrugged out of his hold and kept walking. "Go away, Paul."

For a moment, I thought he was giving up, but he jogged up next to me and slung his arm over my shoulder. "I hope you don't think I'd really let you walk home alone at 9:30 at night."

I shoved his arm away and sighed. "I don't need your protection anymore, Paul."

I gasped when Paul grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me close to him. "So that's it? We're friends for 11 years, I make 1 mistake and now you want nothing to do with me?" he seethed, his adam's apple bobbing. "You don't even wanna be friends?"

I blinked up at him, my chest tight with fear as I considered my life without Paul. "You have to earn back my trust if you wanna be friends again," I finally blurted.

He released my arm and took a step back. "We're not friends anymore?" His voice cracked and his eyes looked incredibly sad.

"That's up to you," I replied honestly.

A car came barreling in our direction and he used both arms to yank me out the road and against him. "Tell me what I have to do," he sighed as the car passed us by.

I backed away and he reached for my bag, hooking it over his shoulder as we walked side by side to my house. I thought carefully as I considered what I wanted Paul to do to earn my trust. Realistically, I knew he couldn't change the past, but maybe he could give me back something he had so selfishly stolen. And maybe in doing that, I could show him what he's been missing by not being with me. It could work.

I climbed the first two steps of my front porch and turned to face Paul. "I want you to help me meet someone."

"Meet someone?" he echoed. "Like a guy?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Yeah, a guy. The way I see it, you kept me from having a boyfriend all this time, so if you really want us to be friends again, then you can help me find a boyfriend now."

Paul's face crinkled in disgust. "Why do you want a boyfriend? You got me."

I shook my head vigorously. "Not interested, Paul. Introduce me to someone or at the very least, don't interfere when I start talking to someone."

Paul sighed heavily and scowled. "And if I don't?" he challenged.

I shrugged sadly. "I guess we won't be friends anymore."

He blew out a deep breath slowly and glanced up at me as I was taller than him standing on the porch steps. "I guess I'll help you...but I just wish you'd consider me as an option in your search for boyfriend, Keegan."

I held my hand to his cheek and leaned down to meet his gaze. "You _were _my first choice, Paul."

I gasped when he lunged forward, landing on the step just under mine. We stood eye to eye, as he gripped my hips and leaned in close to me. "And I have no chance whatsoever?"

My body betrayed me when my heart started to pound and my breathing sped up. "Maybe."

Paul smirked as he let his tongue peek out. "Goodnight kiss?"

I tilted my head and scowled. "What do you think?"

Paul sighed softly as he swept my hair away from my shoulder, lowered his mouth to my neck and breathed, "I think you didn't say no." I sucked in a sharp breath as he brushed his lips up my neck and nibbled on my earlobe. I gripped the porch railing and hoped to hell I wouldn't pass out.

His large hands gripped my hips tightly as his thumbs brushed inside the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I held onto his shoulders as I felt my resolve start to melt. I turned my face toward his, my lips inching closer to that sinful mouth of his. When he was just but a breath away, he backed away and released me. I opened my eyes to see an evil smirk adorning his face. He had me and he knew it. And he wanted me to know he knew it. Shit. Why couldn't I resist him?

He shoved my bag at me and I ran from him. I shut the front door hearing him laughing and I swore to myself that I'd get even with him...one way or another.

...

After a sleepless night after Paul left and a completely miserable Sunday, trying not to think about Paul, I left the house on Monday morning, determined to have a good day. After locking the front door, I turned to find Paul in my driveway. "Are you lost?"

From the day Paul got his license and bought his truck, he always drove me to school. Sometimes his truck was full of friends, but today he came alone. "So...you _don't _want a ride to school?" he asked as he leaned against the passenger door.

I sauntered toward him slowly, wanting to say no, but not really wanting to walk. When I didn't answer him, he pushed off from the door and began to retreat. I reached for his wrist and gripped it lightly. "Since you're already here...I guess I'll take that ride."

Paul glanced down to where I held his wrist and he smiled. "Let's go then."

When we arrived at school together, I split off from Paul when he stopped to talk to some guys that I didn't know. I made my way to my locker and was nearly knocked over when I started digging through my bag. "Oh shit. I'm so sorry, Keegan."

I knelt down to retrieve my books when I looked up to see who had bumped me. I smiled when Embry Call knelt beside me and grabbed a few of my folders and he blushed when he handed them to me. "I guess I shouldn't try to walk and read at the same time," he said as a small smile starting to form on his lips.

I smiled back and nodded. "No harm done, Embry."

He stood and reached down for my hand, helping me to my feet. "I wasn't sure if you even knew my name or not," he admitted bashfully.

I shoved my bag into my locker while holding onto the few books I needed for my morning classes. Embry took the stack from me as I struggled to make my bag fit. "Of course I know who you are. We have history together."

I shut my locker and turned back to face him. He bit back a smile and said, "We don't really have a history together...but we could start now."

I rolled my eyes playfully as I tugged on his shirt sleeve. "Are you flirting with me?"

He placed a flattened palm against the locker next to mine and leaned in a little. "That depends. Is it working?"

I nodded and took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the boy in front of me. We had never talked before and I knew who I had to thank for that. He was sweet and I liked the way his dark eyes twinkled when he spoke to me. I was tempted to reach up and brush aside the shaggy hair adorning his forehead. "I think it's working," I replied, feeling my smile widen.

"Move your ass, Call," Paul groused as he shoved Embry aside to get into his locker.

"Rude much?" I groused back, shooting Paul a dirty look.

"What's up your ass, Paul?" Embry shot back.

Paul slammed his locker shut and scowled. "Well for one...why are you standing so close to my girl?"

Embry straightened up, facing Paul more directly. "Your girl?"

"I'm not," I clarified, not wanting to Paul to scare Embry off already.

Paul focused on me and smirked. "You will be."

Embry glanced between Paul and I, his face falling a little. "Okay then." He turned to walk away and I glared at Paul.

"What the hell? You promised not to interfere!" I whisper-shouted, shoving him back roughly.

Paul crinkled up his nose and looked down the hall. "_That's _who you want? What a wimp."

"It's kind of refreshing being around someone who doesn't get into fights every two minutes," I replied sarcastically.

"Whatever," Paul grumbled, shaking his head.

I didn't give Paul another thought as I raced off to catch up with Embry. When I had nearly caught up to him, he swung around and we almost collided. He wrapped one arm around my back to steady me as I chuckled. "You're dangerous," I joked. "This is our second accident today."

"I forgot to give your books back," he announced as he smiled down at me and then glanced back to Paul. "I had always heard he was overprotective of you, but he looks like he wants to kill me."

"Ignore him," I demanded, linking arms with Embry and dragging him off to history class with me.

...

"So what's the story with you and Lahote?" Embry asked quietly when we were supposed to be working on our study guide.

Absently, I twirled my hair around my pencil and echoed, "The story?"

"Why does he act like such a possessive dick around you?" he asked, his brow furrowed in anger. "Is he your ex or something?"

"No," I replied quickly. "We're best friends. Well, we were. I don't even know anymore."

Embry focused on his work and nodded slowly. "So…" he began, "If I wanted to hang out with you after school today, would that be okay with him?"

I scoffed quietly as my hand drifted over to Embry's knee. "Paul has no say in what I do. Regardless of what you may have heard."

Embry's smile spread wider and mine matched his when his hand covered mine and he squeezed lightly. "That's good to know," he murmured softly, glancing at me and showing me that little twinkle in his eye.

...

"Sorry we have to walk," Embry grumbled. "My Hummer is in the shop."

I turned to catch his expression, just as he burst out laughing. "You're too much," I sighed, finding it impossible not to smile around this boy.

"Is that a good thing?" Embry mused as his hand hesitantly wrapped around mine.

"Very good," I replied happily, squeezing his hand before intertwining our fingers.

"Keegan!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Paul pulled up beside us and honked loudly. "What the hell, Paul?" I shouted as he stared down at me from his driver's side window. His truck was enormous, loud, and always garnered lots of attention.

"Wanna ride?" Paul smirked as he glanced at Embry and then me.

"We're fine," I retorted, pulling on Embry's hand.

Paul eased forward a little and added, "You can both get a ride. Where are you headed?"

I looked up at Embry and sighed. "Want to? Only if you don't mind. Otherwise we can walk."

Embry shrugged. "I don't mind," he answered, still looking a little unsure.

I peered up at Paul. "We're going to my house."

Paul's face immediately tightened as his gaze drifted to our joined hands. "Is that gonna be a problem?" I asked, giving him a pointed look and silently reminding him of our deal.

Paul clenched his jaw and shook his head slowly. "Hop in."

Embry and I rounded the front of the truck. I smiled when I felt Embry's hands on my hips as he helped me up into Paul's oversized truck. I carefully placed my bag between Paul and I, but he put it in the back seat, much to my dismay. Embry slid in next to me and I immediately reached for his hand. Paul growled a little when we rested our intertwined fingers on my thigh.

"Let's go," I ordered as Paul continued to glare at me.

Paul threw his arm over the back of my seat and smirked, "Whatever you say, Keegan."

…..

A/N: the first appearance of Embry! Yay or nay?


	5. 5 - About Moving On

**5 - About Moving On**

"So...Embry. Do you even have your license yet?"

I glanced at Paul and shot him a dirty look. Embry pulled his hand from mine and I immediately missed it. When Embry slipped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me gently, I smiled widely. "Of course, I have my license, Paul. I'm not that much younger than you and Keegan. The only reason I'm not a junior like you guys is because I missed the cut-off."

My hand drifted over to Embry's knee and rubbed it softly. "Embry's really smart too. He may as well be a junior, because he's taking 11th grade courses. We have U.S. History together," I informed Paul smugly, finding it easy to stick up for Embry.

Paul stared straight ahead and clenched his jaw. "How wonderful for him."

We pulled up to my house and I glanced between the two boys. "Thanks for the ride, Paul."

Embry opened the door and slid out of the passenger seat. He reached for my hand as Paul curled his fingers around my upper arm. I glanced at Paul, my brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing?"

He released his grip on me, leaned in close to me and grabbed my bag from the back seat. "Don't forget this," he replied softly, as his mouth brushed past my hair.

I swallowed thickly, peering up at him and waiting for I don't know what. What the hell did I want from him? He knew I'd be spending time with Embry and he would surely be jealous. Was that enough? Did I just want him to suffer? I wasn't even sure any more.

Paul handed me my bag and gave me a sad smile. "Have fun," he muttered, his perfect lips forming an adorable pout.

"We will," I replied cheekily. I turned to Embry, his face etched with concern as he glanced between Paul and I. I turned back to Paul when I felt him tugging on my bag.

He hooked his arm around my neck, pulling me close and whispering, "Be careful...and call me if you need anything."

I shrugged Paul's arm off and sighed. "I'll be fine. I guess...I'll see you tomorrow?"

Paul's face brightened a little. "I'll pick you up for school in the morning."

I nodded and slid down into Embry's waiting arms. He stumbled back a bit and we both chuckled before walking up the driveway and into my house. "Do you want a tour?" I asked as I let myself into the house with my key.

"Can I see your room? he asked softly as he pressed his hand to my lower back and followed me inside.

When we walked into my room, I kicked a few dirty clothes under the bed and chuckled nervously. Embry closed the door and leaned against it as I sat on the rug in the center of my room. I patted the floor next to me and raised my eyebrows expectantly. "Wanna join me?"

He furrowed his brow a bit and shook his head. "I'm not sure if I'm staying."

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest, already feeling defensive. "Is this about Paul?"

He nodded slowly, then pushed off from the door to come sit next to me. "I guess I just want to know what's going on with you two," he replied softly staring straight ahead at our reflection in my mirrored closet doors. "I just feel like you haven't told me the whole story yet."

I turned my body around and crossed my legs, my knees softly brushing the outside of his thigh. "Here's the truth," I began as he turned his head and looked directly into my eyes.

"Paul and I have been friends since I was 5. Our parents are friends and we've been _just _friends all this time. Well...I have had feelings for him for a little while now, but I never acted on them. And the other night, we finally decided to see what would happen, so we kissed. But afterwards, I found out that Paul had been keeping guys away from me for years."

"How was he doing that?"

I picked some imaginary lint from the knee of Embry's jeans and sighed. "He's been threatening them, he said. I guess he told some guys we were a couple just to make sure that no one asked me out."

"Wow. You must have been pretty mad."

I nodded slowly, still not wanting to make eye contact with him. "I was. I said I didn't know if we could be friends or not. He's made it to where I've never had a boyfriend before. So I told him he had to help me find one or at least not interfere if I talked to anyone."

Embry rubbed his flattened palms over the front of his jeans and let them rest there. "So where do you stand with him now?"

I held my hand above his and hesitated. Before I could pull away, he turned his palm over and used his fingers to grasp my hand. We intertwined our fingers and for a moment, I thought how nice it was to sit here with a boy who was so eager to get to know me. But if I told him everything, would he stay?

"I...I have been crazy about Paul for a while now." I felt Embry start to pull his hand from mine, but I held on fiercely. "And after he kissed me, he also admitted he's had feelings for me too. He wants us to be together, but honestly...I feel so betrayed by the way he's been controlling my life."

I glanced at Embry at saw the genuine concern in his eyes. I looked down at our joined hands and cringed when I saw how tightly I was squeezing his fingers. I had even left a few crescent shaped nail prints in his skin. "Ohmigosh! I'm so sorry, Embry!"

I tried to pull my hand from his but he held it even more tightly. I watched as he brought my hand to his mouth and dragged his lips over the back of my fingers. He stared intensely into my eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry you were hurt by him."

I pulled his hand close to my face and I rubbed the back of his fingers back and forth across my cheek. "I like you, Embry. And I know this is so crazy, but if you keep talking to me, then you should know that Paul will probably try to get between us. And if you can't handle that then…"

My speech was interrupted my Embry leaning in close to me and pressing his forehead to mine. "I just want you to be honest with me," he breathed.

"About?"

"Why you really wanted to hang out with me today?"

I leaned back and cocked my head at him, trying to look as cute as I possibly could. "You're an amazing guy, Embry. Why wouldn't I want to hang out with you?"

He scoffed loudly as he pulled his hand from mine and stood up. I watched as he made his way to the large cork board next to my closet and my stomach sank as he scanned the photos pinned up there. I stood to join him, our arms brushing a little as his fingers traced over my face in some of the photos. Paul was in nearly every single one and it was then that I realized my past with Paul was going to keep me from having anything real with someone new.

"You guys have quite the history," he observed dully.

"Yes...but that doesn't mean he's my future," I explained softly, skimming my arm around his bicep and tugging lightly.

Embry turned to face me, his dark eyes stormy as he peered down at me. "I shouldn't get involved with you, Keegan. I already know I don't stand a chance and yet…"

His voice trailed off when he raised his hand to my cheek, his smooth fingers brushing delicately over my skin and then tucking a few stray hairs behind my ear. I blinked quickly, feeling my heart speed up with anticipation from the way he looked at me. "Why don't you think you have a chance with me?"

He chuckled and sighed, leaning in even closer. "Because girls like you don't choose guys like me."

"What does that even mean? Guys like you?" I echoed. "And what kind of guy is that?"

He sighed and tried to turn away from me, but I reached around him with my other hand and pulled on his hips, holding him close to me. He ran his hands up my arms coming to rest on my shoulders. "I'm a nice guy," he stated flatly. "And girls always prefer the jerks, the ones who treat them like shit, try to control them, put them down and make them feel like garbage. That's why I never get the girl. Because that's not me."

Embry pulled away from me and this time, I let him. I could tell he felt vulnerable, embarrassed at his revelation. I found myself wanting to comfort him, to tell him he deserved to get anything his heart desired, but I had to tread lightly. I walked to the other side of the room, pushed my chair back and sat on top of my desk. I let my legs dangle down and swing a little as I thought about what I wanted to say next.

"If you need a guarantee, then I can't give you one. My head is a mess right now. Paul isn't who I thought he was. I know his heart was in the right place but he's broken my trust. And I know it's probably wrong of me to jump into this with you when I feel so conflicted, but…"

I stopped talking when Embry came into view. I had been staring down at the floor when he stepped close to me, edging between my legs and causing me to peer up at him. "I just wanna know one thing."

I swallowed thickly and nodded. "Okay. What is it?"

"Are you using me to make Paul jealous?" he asked hesitantly, almost scared of what my answer might be.

I sucked in a deep breath and sighed. "I…"

Embry leaned closer, wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly. "I don't even care," he murmured into my hair. "I like you, Keegan. Maybe a little more than I should, but I do."

My chest tightened a little at his response and I squeezed him around the waist tightly. When he released me, I looked up at him and smiled. "Originally I thought about being with someone just to spite him, but I don't feel that way now. I want to know who I am and what it feels like to care about someone who isn't pulling all the strings. I want to get to know you, Embry. And I hope you want that too."

His face contorted adorably as he considered it. Finally he smiled widely and sighed, "Who am I kidding? Of course I want to get to know you. I've had a crush on you for a while now."

I could feel myself blushing. "You have?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically and pulled me down from the desk. "I think we've had enough embarrassing confessions for one day, don't you?"

He held my hand as we walked back to where we had started. "So what now?" I asked softly.

Embry whirled around to face me and I felt my heart speed up when he smiled down at me. "I have an idea…" he replied, his voice playful.

I licked my lips and raised my chin a bit. "Oh really?"

He nodded and hummed in a low voice. I held my breath as he leaned in and whispered, "Homework."

I sighed and nodded, knowing he was right and confused at how eager I was for something more to happen between us. He was being cautious, careful not to get too involved with me when I obviously wasn't over my obsession for Paul or my need to break free of him. I knew he was being careful and I should too. Somewhere in the back of my brain was the remnants of a 3 year crush on Paul that I honestly wondered if it would ever really be gone. How do you just walk away from something you've wanted for so long?

Embry settled on the floor and began digging through his bag for his books. I looked down at him, admiring the way his hair fell in front of his eyes. He was gorgeous and not in a way that revealed that he tried too hard or was even aware of it. He was just beautiful. Maybe it was his personality I was latching onto. His sweet and shy demeanor was extremely enticing and so different than what I was used to. He was drawing me in by letting me be me and accepting me, flaws and all.

He glanced up at me and smiled. "Are you just gonna stand there and stare all day or what?" he teased. I sighed and he continued. "I mean, I know I'm cute and all but…"

His teasing paused when I pounced on him. I tried to tickle his armpits but he easily overpowered me, yanking on my wrists and pulling me across his lap. "Nobody tickles me," he asserted gruffly. I was sucked in by his voice and his disarming smile. He held my wrists tightly and laughed. "You give up?"

I nodded quickly, laughing too hard to respond. He reached for his book and the long forgotten study guide we had avoided in class while we got to know each other. Embry pulled my closer to him as he crossed his legs under me. I sat in the gap in his lap, surprised at how natural it felt to be there. I liked how he would twirl my hair with his fingers while we talked and I continued to sit there long after our work was complete.

We talked about everything and I answered any questions he had about my past. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was discussing my friendship with Paul.

"So is he a good kisser?" Embry asked abruptly.

My eyes opened widely and I felt compelled to look away. "I don't know how to answer that," I replied honestly, my eyes still not meeting his gaze.

"I think you just did," Embry replied softly, his disappointment evident.

I turned to face him as the arm closest to him wound its way around his neck. "I just don't have a lot to compare it to. He's only the second guy I've kissed."

Embry lifted his hand and used it to smooth the hair, finally coming to rest on the back my neck. "So what you're saying is...you need to kiss a few more guys and do a little compare and contrast to know for sure?"

"Not a few more," I chuckled. "Just one more." I lifted my palm to the side of his face and angled my mouth in front of his.

He sighed softly, his lips curling into a sly smile. "Are you sure?" he asked shyly.

I licked my lips and nodded. "I'm sure," I breathed before leaning in a little more.

"Am I interrupting?" I heard his voice cutting through the room and stabbing me right in the back.

I glanced up at Embry with pleading eyes, silently begging him not to run. "Go away, Paul," I sighed before burying my face in Embry's neck.

"Your mom sent me," he explained.

I huffed loudly and climbed out of Embry's lap. "She sent you to spy on me?" I accused defensively.

He chuckled as he leaned against the door frame, his biceps bulging under the confines of his black beater. "No," he scoffed. "She asked me to look at the kitchen faucet. It has a leak?"

His story seemed weak at best. "You better not be lying," I warned as I approached him quickly.

Paul held up his cell phone and smirked. "You can read the text message if you want."

I growled and scowled at him, shoving him away from my door and down the hall. "You promised not to interfere," I scolded him quietly when we entered the kitchen.

"I'm not," he answered defensively when he swung around to face me. "Your mom said she was worried about you. She said you spent all day yesterday hiding in your room." He paused to capture a lock of my hair between his fingers. "She thinks we're fighting."

"We are," I ground out through clenched teeth. "And you shouldn't be here."

I stared up at Paul, hating how close he stood to me. I could smell his cologne and I could feel the jealous heat radiating off of him. I didn't want to want him. I didn't want to look at his lips and wonder what it would be like to kiss him again. I just wanted him gone.

"Keegan."

My head snapped back toward the sound of Embry's voice. My shoulders slumped when I saw him glancing between Paul and I. Surely he could feel the tension between us, it was palpable. "Paul was just leaving," I announced suddenly, as I walked to where Embry stood.

"It's okay. I need to head home for dinner," Embry commented sadly.

"Oh," I sighed disappointedly. "Is your mom expecting you at home?"

He shook his head and frowned. "No. It's her night to close the diner. I usually eat there."

"So I guess we're _all_ orphans tonight," Paul interrupted.

I glared at Paul over my shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Paul lifted a note off the fridge, hoisted himself up onto the counter, and read it aloud. Evidently his parents and mine had left to go see a play in Port Angeles. My mom had left me some cash and said that Paul and I could order some dinner. Paul beamed brightly as he handed me the cash that had been stapled to the note.

"So what should we order?" he sighed contentedly.

I suddenly realized my mother's plan. It wasn't unusual for Paul to hang out with me when my parents weren't home. They actually preferred it and thought I was safer that way. But I didn't want to be alone with Paul. And I definitely didn't want Embry to leave just yet.

"You should go home," I repeated to Paul. "And you should stay," I told Embry, pausing to smile at him. "We can order whatever you want.

"I vote for pizza," Paul replied as he hopped down off the counter and stepped up behind me.

"You're not staying," I said for the third time, not bothering to turn and face him. "Just go home."

"Keegan," he whined. "You know I hate to eat alone."

"You know what?" I began, whirling around to face Paul. I paused when I felt Embry's hands on my hips and his chest pressed up against my back.

"You said we could still be friends," Paul reminded me, the unmistakable hurt in his voice.

"But you're interfering," I reminded him.

"I don't mind if he stays," Embry said softly into my ear as he held me a little tighter.

I leaned against him and let my eyes drift closed. "Are you sure?"

"Of course he's sure!" Paul exclaimed as he pulled us apart and led Embry into the living room. "Come on, Keegan. This should be fun!" Paul added as he tossed me a glance from over his shoulder.

I scowled at Paul's enthusiasm and was even mad at Embry a little for caving when Paul pouted a little. I wanted Embry to be a jerk and force Paul to leave. Maybe even Embry was under Paul's popularity spell. People just loved him. And everyone wanted to be his friend. Did Embry want that too?

So it's dinner alone with Embry and Paul. What could possibly go wrong?

...

A/N: reviews rock my world! Let me know what you think about Embry and Keegan or Keegan and Paul. Thanks for reading!


	6. 6 - About the Truth

**6 - About the Truth**

I groaned as I made my way into the living room. I walked over to Embry as Paul knelt in front of the media cabinet, searching for a movie to watch during dinner. I stood next to Embry as he was perched on the edge of the coffee table. I smiled when his arm snaked around my waist. It felt natural...and right. He did it while discussing which _Fast and Furious _movie was the best. And maybe that would have been okay but he was discussing it with Paul.

Paul.

There he sat with his back to us, his back muscles flexing under the confines of his tightly stretched black beater. I wondered how cruel it was to let Embry be affectionate with me while in Paul's presence. But Paul had seen Embry and I mere inches away from our first kiss. So he had to know there could be more to come, right?

But then it dawned on me that this was probably the reason that Paul had insisted on staying. And maybe Embry was more strategic than I had pegged him for. Maybe his plan was to let Paul see what we hadn't gotten a chance to finish in my room? Or maybe he didn't trust me alone with Paul.

Hell...I didn't trust myself alone with Paul.

I looked at him now, his broad shoulders making any doorway appear smaller. He was completely covering the media cabinet, calling out titles that either Embry or I had nixed.

"Maybe Keegan wants to watch something romantic?" Embry offered as my fingers drifted to the adorable mussed hair on top of his head. It was just as soft as I had expected and when I lowered my nose to take a sniff, Paul whirled around to face us.

The color visibly drained from his face as his eyes darted to my hand in Embry's hair, to the way his hand was curled around my hip and digging in a little, to the expression on Embry's face, that I couldn't read right then but assumed was conveying pleasure from my touch. "You've got a lot to learn about Keegan, man."

Paul's intense gaze had me pulling my hand away from Embry's hair and moving to rest on his shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?" Embry asked defensively as Paul stood and dropped a handful of dvds on the table.

Paul's lip curled into a sneer as he shook his head. "She hates romantic movies. Except for _The Notebook."_

"Maybe she wants to try something different. Sometimes people get tired of the same old shit all the time," Embry retorted sharply as he stood, his hand never leaving my hip.

I glanced between them, fully aware that this was no longer about my movie preferences. "I don't care what we watch, honestly. We could let Embry pick."

Paul tore his gaze away from Embry and glared at me. "Well isn't that sweet?"

Paul leaned down to gather up the dvds on the coffee table when Embry stopped him. "So let me see what she likes."

Paul handed him the stack and I watched Embry snicker. "Big Bruce Willis fan?"

"The biggest," Paul confirmed. "She owns all his movies."

"No I don't," I argued. "I don't have _Hudson Hawk_ or _Bandits _or _Billy Bathgate."_

"But you own this one," Paul pointed out as he pulled my copy of _Color of Night _from the stack. Maybe we should watch this one…"

"No!" I shrieked, knowing as well as he did that there was all kinds of sex and nudity in it. No way was I watching it with these two.

"Keegan loves action/adventure movies. She would never sit through a rom/com or some sappy drama. She's all tomboy when it comes to her movie preferences," Paul stated matter-of-factly.

"And you obviously have a major thing for Bruce Willis…" Embry teased.

I huffed in frustration. "Give me those," I groused as Embry pulled the stack from me and held them over his head.

"Are you worried I'll damage your precious Bruce Willis collection?" Embry continued to tease as Paul laughed.

"I hate you both."

"No, you don't," Paul argued as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off my feet. "She's ticklish around her neck if you wanna get her," Paul told Embry as I scoffed.

"That's not even fair!" I squealed as Embry dropped the movies on the couch and brought his fingers to my neck while Paul's hold on me never wavered. "Don't you do it, Embry!"

He smiled devilishly as his fingers attacked my neck and I squealed even louder. I squirmed in Paul's arms and felt his hold tighten when he fell back into my dad's recliner with me in his lap. "Can't you handle her, Paul? She's just a girl."

I pulled Paul's arms off me and launched myself toward Embry, who was now running for the front door. "Just a girl, huh?"

Embry yanked the front door open and suddenly stopped running, causing me to nearly plow him down. "What's wrong?" I asked breathlessly as I slipped under his arm and glanced toward the open doorway.

"Pizza's here! Grab that money, will ya, Paul?" I called from over my shoulder as Embry continued to stare at the delivery driver. I got a little annoyed with all the attention he gave the tall brunette and when Paul came around the corner, he did the same thing. "Paul," she sighed, her face physically lighting up when she saw him.

He blinked quickly, glancing to me and then her. "Aren't you gonna introduce us to your friend?" I asked sarcastically, already knowing he probably didn't remember her name or be would've said it already.

"What do...do we owe you?" Paul stammered as he raked a hand through his hair.

The driver, the nametag said Yvette, tipped her head slightly to read the total on the side of the box. "It's $27.50," she announced, her gaze returning to Paul.

I looked at Paul, who stood there clutching the money and I rolled my eyes. I pried the money from his hands and thrust it at her. "I just need 10 back," I finally said as they continued to stare at each other.

Embry reached form the stack on pizzas while I grabbed the two-liter of soda. I pulled on Embry's sleeve with my free hand and nodded toward the living room. "Grab my change, will ya?" I said to Paul, hoping they might break their daze.

I entered the kitchen, grabbing three empty cups as filling them halfway with ice. Embry joined me after putting the pizzas on the coffee table. "Need some help?"

I didn't raise my head to look at him, simply asking, "Wanna grab some plates?"

After getting a handful of napkins from the kitchen table, I look to see Embry yanking open all the top cabinets. "It's over here," I instructed as he turned to stand in front of me. He sandwiched me between him and the counter, one hand curling around my waist while the other reached over my head for the plates.

He chose three, pressing his chest to mine as he stretched. He brought them down for my inspection and asked, "Will these work?"

I gazed up at him and nodded, my eyes drifting to his mouth and then back to his dark eyes. He smiled when he noticed where was looking. When he set the plates behind me and trapped me with his sinewy smooth arms, I knew I was in trouble. "You know what?" Embry began. I smiled shyly and shook my head. He licked his lips and trapped the bottom one between his teeth. "You look like you need to be kissed."

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, knowing any words I could form at that moment would sound stupid. Embry smiled almost imperceptibly as his eyes drifted closed. I did the same thing as I buried my fingers in the hair on the back of his neck and pulled him close to me. "Last chance to back out," he murmured before hesitating a moment.

"No way," I sighed before his lips descended upon mine. He brushed his lips softly against mine, still hesitating before I tilted my head a bit more and put a little more pressure behind the kiss.

I felt his hands move to my hips as mine smoothed over his shoulders, pulling him down to me a little more. I smiled against his mouth when I felt his tongue peek out, searching for mine. His tongue was slick and smooth like the rest of him and he used his to taste me and I loved it.

He was gentle and sweet with his kisses, but his hands were rough. I felt them tightening on my hips, gripping harder as the kiss continued. He was having a hard time holding back. Hell, so was I. My mind was so clear during this kiss that I could appreciate the smell of his skin, the firmness of his lips, the way his lower half pushed against mine. This wasn't frenzied and panicked. It was sensual and he had all my senses on overload.

He began pecking my lips lightly as he pulled away and I was fighting to control my breathing. We ended the kiss with our faces buried in each other's necks. I shivered when I felt Embry's warm breath fanning my skin. "Your neck really is sensitive," he murmured as his lips traveled up to my ear. "I love that."

Another shiver. Dammit. His lips were so soft and he was breathing so deep that I could sense how turned on he was. Well that and the way his erection was poking me in the hip. I laughed just thinking about it. He backed off a little, obviously knowing I felt it. "Sorry about that," he whispered, his face flushing adorably.

I lowered my hands to his hips, my fingers curling into his skin, nails raking under his shirt a little. "It's okay," I murmured, glancing up to catch his gaze. "It feels good...being wanted."

He smiled and nodded. "Oh you are," he replied before leaning in for another kiss.

"Pizza's getting cold," Paul announced as he entered the kitchen and found us mid-kiss. "Are we eating or what?" he huffed as we pulled away slowly.

Embry kept me trapped between him and the counter as I glanced at Paul. "Did you finally remember who that girl was?"

Paul grabbed the plates as Embry carried the cups and I brought the napkins. We sat on the floor around the coffee table as I opened the boxes and we filled our plates.

"I knew who she was," Paul stated, his brow furrowing. "I just didn't expect to see her here."

I settled next to Embry and across from Paul. "Oh yeah? Did she make a special delivery to your house before?"

Paul squirmed a bit as he nervously picked the toppings off and shoved them in his mouth. He wouldn't look at me and suddenly everything made sense.

"You fucked her?"

Paul's eyes snapped to mine. "Wow, Keegan. Really?"

I noticed he didn't deny it. "You're unbelievable."

Paul glared at me now, his eyes darting over to Embry's once before he spoke again. "Jealous?"

"Ewww no," I groaned. "I just hope you used protection."

"You're jealous," he announced as his lips curled into a smirk. "You're so cute when you're jealous."

I scowled at him as I stood and climbed over Embry on my way to the kitchen. "Bring back some parmesan!" Paul called as I entered the kitchen.

Shit.

I can't act like I care about what Paul does with his dick. He's not mine and he never was.

But he could be.

I cringed when I thought about Embry and how my little jealousy act must be bothering him. I dug around in the back of the fridge until I found the parmesan and I grabbed a water for me.

When I returned and sat down with the guys, they were suspiciously quiet. "What?" I mumbled as cheese dangled from my chin. "I'm not sure I like you two hanging out together. Too many chances to compare notes about me."

I grabbed a napkin, swiping away the remnants of cheese while Paul continued to smirk. "I just told Embry you got all freaked out because you don't believe in casual sex. That...and you're a virgin."

I scowled at Paul hard and shook my head. "You're such a dick. You'd fuck anybody. You'll be sorry when you meet 'the one' and she asks you how many girls you've been with. She'll probably fall out of her chair when you give her the exact number."

Paul rolled his eyes. "The exact number?"

"Yeah. As in how many girls have you been with? Or can't you count that high?" I snarked.

"You still sound jealous," he commented before grabbing two more pieces of pizza.

"I'm not," I argued, shifting around to sit closer to Embry. "If you don't wanna tell us…"

"It's four."

My mouth gasped open. "Four?" I echoed. "As in...400?"

He scowled. "As in...I've only been with 4 girls." Paul paused to gauge my reaction and then added, "I've already met 'the one.' And I'm sure she'll understand."

I rolled my eyes and felt Embry stiffen beside me. I started stacking up the empty boxes, relocating all the leftover pieces into one box. "Anyway…" I began, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Paul wiped his face with a napkin, balling it up and tossing it my way. "So what's your exact number?"

I tossed him a confused look and shrugged. "Zero. You already said that."

"Not _that _number. Like how many guys have you kissed...and who was the best?" Paul stared at me intensely and all I could do was chuckle. I could already feel the blush creeping up the back of my neck.

"What difference does it make?" I asked defensively.

Paul leaned back, his palms flat on the hardwood floor behind him and his legs stretched and brushed mine under the coffee table. "You were all about knowing _my _number. So let's hear yours."

I glanced at Embry and of course, he looked just as anxious as Paul to know. "It's four okay. Now you know."

I stood and grabbed the boxes, wanting to be anywhere but here. I didn't want Paul to press me about who the best kisser was. "Four?" he echoed when I returned from dumping the boxes in garbage can out back. "Who's the other two?"

I settled on the couch, bending my knees and tucking my feet under my feet. "You knew I kissed Evan Adams when we were 12. Did you forget?"

He nodded. "Okay, then who else?"

"Well...you and Embry." I paused to glance at Embry, noticing a shy smile beginning to spread across his face. "And...Todd."

"Todd? Todd Evans? Seriously? When was that?"

I sighed. "It was Halloween. You made me go to that bonfire and then you ditched me. You took off with that...what was her name?"

"Felicia."

I made a disgusted face and nodded. "You talked me into wearing that pirate wench costume but the skirt was so thin, I nearly froze to death. Todd...Todd wanted to warm me up."

Paul squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never told me you were gonna go off and bang that girl," I challenged.

"That was really stupid of me. I shouldn't have left you alone that night."

I shrugged, trying not to be affected by how sweet Paul sounded right now. "No big deal. It happened."

Embry climbed up on the couch and sat beside me. I looked at him and noticed that sexy little gleam in his eye. "But which one was the best?"

I sighed loudly. How would i ever get out of this? "It was...it was…."

"Todd?" Paul offered.

"Oh yeah. Todd with his turtle tongue jammed right into my mouth and those clammy hands…" I shuddered when I remembered how bad it truly was.

They both laughed as Paul stood and moved around the coffee table to sit on it right in front of me. "So you're not gonna tell us?" Paul teased, reaching forward to squeeze my knee.

Embry wrapped his arm around me, pulling me a little closer. "You don't have to say anything, Keegan. Especially if you're not comfortable."

"Dude, you don't want her to say it was me," Paul quipped in that cocky way of his.

"Why would she say it was you?" Embry pressed. "She could just as easily say it's me."

Paul scoffed. "Whatever you say. But you weren't there. You didn't see her pull her shirt off and basically beg me to…"

"Paul!" I scolded. "You're such an ass!" I threw my leg forward, kicking him in the stomach and laughing when he grabbed my foot and tickled me in response.

"Doesn't anyone wanna hear my number?" Embry asked out of nowhere. I was thankful for the distraction because things were feeling weird.

"Sure," I encouraged.

"Do you even have a number?" Paul teased.

Embry scoffed. "I'm not a virgin."

"Really?" I asked, not doing a very good job of hiding my surprise.

"You seem so shocked…"

I shrugged. "Sorry. I'm not _shocked _persay...just a little surprised."

"So who was she? Someone we know?" Paul quizzed, his hands finally releasing my feet.

Embry shook his head and sighed a little. "No. I met her in Tacoma last summer. She's my grandpa's neighbor. We spent a lot of time together and then we…" he paused and sighed deeply. It made my heart hurt a little hearing how wistful he was talking about her. "We said goodbye."

"So just that one time?" Paul asked, for once not sounding like a horny perv.

Embry blushed a little and shook his head. "Nah...we made a week of it."

I swallowed back a lump in my throat, wondering how I could be so affected by his past when we were just getting to know each other. "You guys don't keep in contact?" I wondered aloud, hoping not to sound too clingy.

He gave me a reassuring squeeze. "No, not any more. It was just a summer fling." I smiled up at him, feeling warm and tingly in his arms. Embry locked eyes on me and smiled back. "Besides, I got my eye on someone new."

I let my head drop into the crook of his neck as the intense gaze he gave me was way more than I could handle at the moment. "So maybe we should watch a movie?" Paul suggested, reaching over to tickle me behind my knee. "Unless you're ready for bed...and then we can go."

I raised my head slowly, hating to leave my warm little safe haven in the crook of Embry's neck. I glanced at Embry and back to Paul. I need to decide...on bed or a movie. On Embry or Paul. Sure, we all got along now, but how much longer could this last?

"Let's...watch a movie," I finally replied.

_"Color of Night?" _Paul teased as he got up to find something to watch.

"No. Let's watch _Armageddon. _Just the right amount of action and romance. Perfect." I smiled and gasped when Embry's lips caught mine in a quick kiss with Paul's back turned.

Yeah. This was gonna be harder than I thought.

…...

A/N: decisions, decisions! Keegan has such a rough life lol

Thanks for reading and leave a review if you have time. I'd love to know what you think!


	7. 7 -About What I Want

**7 - About What I Want**

"Please tell me you're not crying."

"Of course she is," Paul replied sleepily, raising his head from the back of the couch. "Keegan always cries when Bruce Willis dies at the end."

Embry laughef softly, earning himself a tickle to the ribs. "No tickling," Embry reminded me gruffly, causing me to back into Paul's arms and lap.

"I'll save you," Paul sighed as he closed his arms around me.

I pushed him back and scoffed, now standing over them both. "You're both terrible. And I'm tired, so…"

Embry looked disappointed and Paul looked happy. "Time for you to go," Paul declared as he stood next to me.

"He's staying?" Embry huffed.

"No. You're both leaving. I don't need a babysitter."

Embry stood and pouted. "I have to get my books," he announced before disappearing down the hall.

Paul dragged his fingers down my back and let them rest on my hip. I turned my face slightly to find his lips mere inches from mine. "Don't you want me to spend the night? I know you hate being in this house alone."

"Not tonight," I replied quickly, trying not to focus on his mouth.

"Scared to be alone with me?" he called out to me as I scurried down the hall. Actually I was. I didn't know if I could be alone with either one of them at this point and trust myself to behave. I felt like every nerve ending was frazzled and I could explode at any moment.

The second I stepped into my bedroom, Embry pulled me close and gripped the back of my neck. He claimed my mouth with his feather soft lips in a kiss that was anything but gentle. He kissed me hungrily, angling his mouth over mine and pressing his tongue between my lips. I slid my tongue over his and sucked hard. I felt his hands tighten around me, holding me by my lower back and pulling me impossibly closer.

All the touching and teasing on the couch had resulted in this one passion filled kiss that I never wanted to end. Embry kissed his way down my neck, finally resting on my shoulder with both of us gasping for air. "I've been wanting to do that all night," he admitted as he lazily raised his head.

I nodded, feeling the same way and not being able to get the words out. "Let's go," I urged, pulling on his hand and leading back to the front door.

"Can you give Embry a ride?" I asked sweetly, hoping Paul wouldn't be a dick about it.

Paul narrowed his gaze, glancing back and forth between Embry and I. He knew. He noticed Embry's bragging smile and my shy expression and the look on Paul's face said it all. Jealous.

"Whatever. Let's go," Paul grumbled, yanking the front door open and motioning for Embry to come on.

Embry turned to give me one more smile before striding out the front door. Paul gave me a scowl and before he could pass through the doorway, I pulled on his beater and waited for him to face me.

"Goodnight," I breathed as I pressed myself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

Paul immediately softened...and hardened. God. My nose found that spot on his neck and I breathed deeply, wanting to let his scent invade my nose as his hands wandered up and down my back. He leaned back and locked those lusty dark eyes on me. "No kiss?"

I sighed and nodded, leaning forward brush my lips across his cheek. "Thanks not interfering...well not as much as you could have," I laughed softly near his ear.

"I'm trying to be good," he whispered, his eyes drifting to my mouth. "It's not easy, Keegan."

I knew what he meant. He was referring to me being with Embry and wanting to kiss me right now. And I felt just as conflicted. I reached up to cup his chin and sighed, "You should get going."

"Ask me to stay? I'll drop him off and be right back," Paul suggested sinfully.

I considered it for a brief second before shaking my head. "Not tonight," I repeated. I untangled myself from his arms and pushed him out the door. "Drive safely."

"Don't worry," Paul groused. "I'll get your boyfriend home in one piece."

I yanked on his arm and waited until he looked me in the eye. "I want you to be safe, Paul. Don't forget that."

Paul nodded and bounded down the porch steps and disappeared down the dark driveway. I shut the door and collapsed against it. I felt tingly all over and my mind was bouncing with all the possibilities. I worried that I would never get to sleep feeling this way, so I decided on a warm bath to relax me.

~*?~?*~

"Fuck!" I gasped when I returned to my room and found I wasn't alone. "Why are you here?"

Paul chuckled lightly as he sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. "You should know why I'm back."

I sighed and shifted my weight nervously. I was still wet from the bath and barely covered with a towel, that I kept yanking on to insure no body parts were hanging out. "I'm getting ready for bed, Paul. You should just go home."

He leaned back, resting his flattened palms on my mattress. "Go ahead. I'll wait," he flirted. "You're worth the wait."

"Paul…" I warned, tightening my towel with one hand while I pushed wet strands of hair away from my face. "Go home."

Paul smiled devilishly as he hooked his ankles behind my knees, forcing my body on top of his. Instinctively, I held out both hands to brace myself from the fall, causing the towel to come loose and reveal a bit of cleavage. Paul kept his eyes locked on mine as he pulled me tightly against him.

"Do you have any idea what I would love to do to you?" Paul mused playfully as he leaned forward and brushed his lips along my hairline.

At a loss for words, I simply shrugged. He slid a hand behind my head and pulled me down to rest on his broad chest. I gasped when he pushed the towel down, revealing my bare back. His fingers immediately began kneading all the muscles in my lower back and worked their way up slowly.

"What...are you doing to me, Paul?" I sputtered and held back moans because his hands felt so...damn...good.

He chuckled as he worked my shoulders now. "I'm returning the favor, Keegan. You always give me the best back massages and I've never even offered to give you one. Doesn't this feel good?"

"It doesn't suck," I managed to eek out.

He laughed and I felt his laugh rumbling in my own chest. It was like we were one person, almost as if…

"Paul…" I protested weakly, suddenly feeling too close, too vulnerable, too...needy. I pushed off of him, gathering my towel back around myself as best as I could as I sat on the edge of my bed.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked softly as he shifted around to sit behind me, his thighs on either side of mine, his hands going immediately back to kneading my shoulders.

I openly moaned...loudly when his expert hands landed on the tight knot at the base of my neck. He rubbed it softly, picking up the pressure with my increasing whimpers. "Oh that's it, right there."

He scooted back, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me back with him. I relaxed against his chest as his hands encircled my waist. "This feels nice," I murmured as his nose dropped to my shoulder and he inhaled deeply. "I love that you always smell like apples, Kee."

I sighed softly, loving how comfortable I was in his arms. My head swirled with ideas of letting him sleep in my bed. But I couldn't do that now. It's too dangerous after that kiss. Because it was one thing for me to ignore my own desire for him, but now he felt it for me too. Was I strong enough to say no if he wanted to have sex? That erection of his, poking me in the back said he wanted me.

"Are you getting sleepy?" he hummed against my shoulder between kisses to the sensitive skin there.

"Yeah, I should probably go get changed," I told him as I wriggled out of his grasp and scooted back to the edge of the bed.

I struggled to wrap the towel back around myself as I stood. Paul stepped up behind me and helped cover me up, which was weird since I assumed he wanted it off of me. "Thanks," I murmured as he walked around to face me.

"If you really don't want me to sleep over, then I guess I'll just go home," he offered pitifully, even shooting me the puppy dog eyes.

I sighed heavily and laughed. "No, I'll be fine. You should go ahead and get home."

He cupped my shoulders and trailed his fingers down my bare arms, causing me to shiver noticeably. "So how about that kiss goodnight?"

"I already kissed you earlier," I reminded him, raising my chin defiantly. "Wasn't that good enough?"

Paul smirked and shook his head. "I bet Embry got a better kiss than that. Don't I deserve a little better than a peck on the cheek?"

"So you're jealous now?" I goaded.

He pressed his forehead to mine and held my hips tightly. "Of course I am. You held his hand and played with his hair and kissed him. You should be doing all that with _me._"

I reached up and cupped his jaw with one hand, the other still gripping my towel. "I wanted all that with you, Paul. It was all I ever wanted, but…"

"Don't say 'but.' We can still have everything you wanted. We can still be a couple, Keegan," he pleaded, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I can't."

"Because you still want to punish me?" he challenged, leaning back a little with his eyes dark and storm cloudy. "Because you can't forgive me for something I'm so fucking sorry for?"

"You need to give me more time."

He scoffed angrily. "More time for what? More time to fall for Embry? More time to torture me while I watch you two be all lovey dovey in front of me? Fuck that. I've given you enough time to make a decision."

I opened my mouth to argue and I gasped when his mouth descended upon mine. He kissed me hard, like this was his last chance. He held me tightly against him, gripping my towel as his hands moved to my lower back. I accepted his tongue in my mouth and whimpered at how demanding his kiss was. I let both my hands curl around the back of his neck and pulled him deeper. My body was betraying me. My words said I didn't forgive him but my body was tattling on me, declaring what a liar I am.

I still wanted Paul.

~*?~?*~

After kicking Paul out of my house and barely getting any sleep, I made my way out to Paul's truck the next morning. He looked oh so happy and that kinda pissed me off. He was the reason I couldn't sleep. His fiery kiss had me second-guessing myself. And then there was Embry. The guilt over kissing them both was really doing me in. I needed to make a decision and stick with it. Yeah right.

"Rough night?" Paul practically sang when I climbed into his truck.

I grumbled and sighed, not really giving him an answer. Paul just chuckled as he hooked a finger into my belt loop and yanked me closer to him. "Maybe one of my mind-blowing kisses will get your motor running this morning?" he suggested as he leaned into me.

I pressed my finger to his forehead and growled. "No way, buddy. Just drive."

Paul cut the engine and sighed. "What's wrong with you?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and stared straight ahead. "You annoy me," I finally replied. "Can't we just go."

Paul turned his body more toward mine and I could see him smiling out of the corner of my eye. "My services require payment...up front."

I glanced at him and scowled. "Services?"

"Your ride to school."

"I'll walk."

He laughed and pulled on my arm when I tried to escape. "You don't have to walk. All I ask for is a kiss for payment."

I looked at Paul again, as his index finger tapped his cheek. I sighed dramatically and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He turned at the last second and kissed me on the mouth. I only engaged for a moment before pulling away with another scowl. "No fair," I pouted. "You moved."

"Nah," he murmured. "You were just too slow," he announced as he turned the key and his loud truck came roaring back to life.

I settled in the seat beside him, not even bothering to argue when he put his arm over my shoulder. When we turned a different way and I realized we weren't going to school, my scowl was back. "Where are we going?"

"We're picking up your boyfriend," he grumbled. "I guess I should be happy he doesn't have a car, but still."

We pulled up to Embry's house, I guess because I hadn't been there yet. Paul honked once while twirling locks of my hair between his fingers. "Good morning," Embry said happily as he climbed in beside me.

I scooted away from Paul and gave Embry a quick hug before he had a chance to shut the door. The truck lurched forward and we broke off the hug. I glared at Paul, who threw me a guilty smile. "Sorry, I forgot to put it in park."

Embry shut the door and we were on our way. I broke off from them when I got to school, telling them I needed to use the restroom before classes started. I watched the two of them saunter down the hall together and wondered how long the peace between them would last, especially when I needed to make a decision.

Embry...or Paul.

That was the question.

I left the restroom and looked down the hall. "Keegan!" Paul called as Embry waved. I stared at the two boys standing near my locker and sighed. They were both beautiful, but complete opposites. Paul was brash, cocky, and made me quiver with anticipation. Embry was sweet, made me smile, and was helping mend my heart after Paul had shredded it.

I could only choose one. It shouldn't be this difficult...should it?

For the rest of the week, the three of us spent all our free time together. It was weird and sometimes uncomfortable for me, but I was getting to know Embry without Paul feeling left out. I knew I needed to make a decision soon. They were both inpatient in their own way. I knew Embry was worried that I was just using him and Paul always reminded me of our long time friendship, like that was somehow making us better suited to be a couple than Embry and I, because we were new friends.

Regardless, I felt it was only fair to make a decision and stick to it. I'd been awake many hours in the past week trying to make a choice and today I finally felt I had found it. Now I just had to tell him.

"I heard about a party tonight. Would you want to go with me?"

I glanced at Embry as he sat beside me. "You don't seem like the party type," I whispered back as we were supposed to be picking a topic for our history report.

Embry shrugged and squeezed my hand under the table. "I'm not. But I never go to parties so who knows? Maybe I'm a party animal and I just haven't discovered that side of me yet."

He's so cute.

I shrugged and nodded. "I guess we could go. It could be fun, I suppose."

Embry leaned into my side and whispered, "We could always just go and people watch. As long as we're together, who cares?"

I nodded again. "We'll have to finish this report first, okay?"

"Whatever you say, Keegan."

By the time, last hour rolled around, I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. It was art class with Paul. We took it for fun when we signed up last Fall. We always enjoyed teasing each other about who had the least amount of artistic talent. But we always had fun together.

But that might end today.

I made my way to class, finding Paul at his easel and setting up his supplies. "You get lost?" I inquired playfully when he looked up at me.

"I'm not that late," I grumbled as I sat down beside him. He pulled my stool closer to his and scanned my face. "Did something happen?"

"Something?" I echoed and shrugged. "Nothing really. But Embry and I might go to that party at Trent's house tonight."

I kept my gaze trained on my supplies and oversized pad of paper. I didn't want to discuss this until after school, so I hoped class would start soon and Paul could quit worrying.

I glanced up at the teacher when I heard her grumbling near the door. She had a note from the office and whatever it said had made her mad. "Well that's just great!"

Finally she turned to address the class, announcing, "I had scheduled a model for today's lesson on figure drawing but he is a no show, so...I'm not sure what we can do now."

"Mrs. Moore? Why couldn't someone in our class be the model?" Cassie Blunk suggested, soon to be followed by certain names being thrown out. Paul was mentioned a few times as he had the best body among the junior class, along with some of the wrestlers, who worked out constantly.

"Well, Mr. Lahote, you seem to be the popular choice today. Would you be interested in modeling for us today?" Mrs. Moore asked shyly. She was at least 40 and mousey as hell. I had always wondered if she had a crush on Paul with the way she got flustered around him.

Paul never being one for modesty, pulled his t-shirt over his head and beamed. "Where do you want me?"

For the next 45 minutes, I had to endure all the commentary from the girls in the class. They acted like they had never seen a shirtless guy before. Animals. I could feel my skin prickling as I studied his bicep, trying to get just the right shading to his muscular definition. I tried to concentrate, but Paul kept locking eyes with me, which made everything just that much more awkward between us.

I didn't like hearing the comments about his god-like body or the way he seemed so proud to show off his spectacular body to everyone. I couldn't really blame him. Paul had been so scrawny and bony sophomore year, that he had to work extra hard to put on weight and build muscle mass. He was proud of his body and I was too. I just wasn't used to sharing it with anyone else.

After class, he shrugged his shirt back on and beamed at me. "Well that was something, huh?"

I nodded and forced a smile as I packed up my supplies. "So this party tonight? You want a ride or what?" he asked sweetly.

We made our way down the hall, which wasn't easy considering it was the end of the day. We approached our lockers and put our things away. Paul tugged on my sleeve and lowered his head to get my attention. "So did you want a ride?"

"I'm going with Embry."

"Okay?" he began, leaning against his locker and eyeing me cautiously. "You know that offer extends to him, too."

"I think we're gonna go alone," I declared as I shut my locker and looked him in the eye.

"He doesn't want me there?" Paul asked skeptically, ditching his casual position in favor of a more imposing stance, towering over me for affect. "Should I talk to him?"

"No, Paul," I insisted. "_I _don't want you to come with."

His expression immediately hardened as he trapped me between him and the lockers with those muscular arms in had just been sketching in class. "Why not?" he demanded.

I raised my gaze slowly and found his eyes blazing with anger. He already knew what was coming. He just wanted to hear me say it. "I've decided to be with Embry," I said softly. "I still want us to be friends though."

"Friends?" he scoffed as he leaned closer and we were nearly nose to nose. "Are you sure about this, Keegan? Cuz once I walk away, that's it. I'm not coming back. I'm not gonna let you fuck with my heart anymore."

"Paul, don't say that. You know I never meant to hurt you," I offered as my hands drifted up to hold his face. "You know I still love you...as a friend.

Paul grimaced and twisted away from me. "I don't need that. I wanted more and so did you," he whispered, pausing to suck his lower lip into his mouth. "He'll never make you happy. He'll never make you feel as good as I can," he added, leaning in to brush his lips along my collarbone.

I blinked quickly when he pulled back and backed away. He nearly ran into Embry as he retreated down the hall and out the double doors. Embry glanced between me and Paul, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"What's wrong with Paul?"

I sighed as I continued to stare down the hall, even though my oldest friend was long gone. "He's mad at me."

"What now?" Embry chuckled.

I looked up at Embry and sucked in a deep breath. "I just told him that I chose you."

…

A/N: I know I suck for not updating sooner, but I finished Constantly so these updates should be coming quicker. Don't kill me for making Keegan pick Embry! Keep reading and see what happens. The party scene will be in the next chapter...


	8. 8 - About Why I'm Jealous

**8 - About Why I'm Jealous**

"Are you...sure you're okay?"

I pulled my gaze away from the near empty hallway, realizing that I had been staring at the door Paul had escaped out of for way too long. I peered up at Embry, noticing his eyes were full of genuine concern. "I...I don't even know. He's so mad."

Embry dipped his head, trying to make eye contact. "I'm not worried about Paul right now. I'm asking about _you."_

I sighed and nodded before reaching into my locker and removing my bag. I linked arms with Embry and pulled him toward the the exit. "I really hurt Paul. And I hate myself for that," I admitted.

Embry stiffened next to me and I realized that I was treating him like a friend and not like the guy I had just chosen to be in a relationship with. I pulled him aside, pushing him gently against a locker and holding his biceps tightly. I tipped my head back and smiled up at him. "I'm upset about Paul but I'm hopeful about us. I hope you still want to be with me," I added quickly, suddenly panicked that he didn't feel quite as strongly for me.

A slow smile started to creep across Embry's face as he stared down at me. "Of course, I still want to be with you, Keegan," he beamed. He paused to glance down the hall wistfully. "But I feel bad for Paul too."

I scoffed and shoved Embry playfully. "Oh wow! You're more concerned about your bromance with Paul than you are about me," I pouted and then stalked away.

Embry jogged down the hall to catch up to me, slinging his arm around my shoulder and laughing as we exited the school. "Bromance? I don't think I'd call it that."

"Then why are you so worried about how he feels right now?"

Embry tugged on my jean jacket and turned me to face him as we stood on the sidewalk. "I feel bad for him because I know how shitty I would feel right now if I had lost you."

I smiled and sighed deeply as I let my hands slide around Embry's trim waist. "You're really sweet, you know that?"

Embry rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Is that why you chose me?" he asked skeptically.

"Maybe?" I flirted.

"Maybe?" he echoed. "That's all you got?"

I pulled him close to me, pushing up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "I chose you because I like you, you're sweet to me, and I know you'd never hurt me."

Embry lowered his head and sighed, "So you picked me because I'm safe?"

I leaned back, looked into his eyes and scowled. "Yeah, I feel safe with you. Is that okay?"

"I guess. I just...nevermind, let's go."

"Embry!" I called after him as he pulled away from me and stalked off toward the tree line behind the school. I watched him go and decided I wouldn't be chasing after him.

Fuck Embry. I chose him and he's pissed at me? What the hell. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to boys.

~*?~?*~

I came home to an empty house and I realized I hadn't been alone in days. I used my time productively, doing my homework, making myself dinner, doing some cleaning and finally relaxing. I still couldn't stop thinking about what happened with Embry.

What the hell did happen?

Was it because I called him cute or safe? Did he want to be seen as hot or risky or dangerous? I thought back to what he said on that first day in my room.

_"Because girls like you don't choose guys like me."_

_"What does that even mean? Guys like you?" I echoed. "And what kind of guy is that?"_

_"I'm a nice guy," he stated flatly. "And girls always prefer the jerks, the ones who treat them like shit, try to control them, put them down and make them feel like garbage. That's why I never get the girl. Because that's not me."_

At the time he said those things, I assumed he meant Paul. I assumed that he thought Paul had treated me badly and I would prefer that treatment to being with someone sweet like him. I didn't see sweet and safe as an insult. I didn't see choosing him as a bad thing. Maybe he was shocked? Maybe he thought he didn't have a chance?

I sighed loudly, hating that it was Friday night and I had nothing better to do than clean, finish all my homework and obsess about a boy who couldn't even be bothered to text me. I noticed the time and scrolled through my phone for the group text that went out about Trent's party. I still had time to get ready and go. No, I wouldn't be going with a boy but if be damned if I was gonna let either one of them keep me from having fun.

An hour later, in was showered and dressed, hair straightened with a slight curl on the edges. I debated my outfit in the full length mirror hanging on the back of my bedroom door. I decided to wear a skirt and was considering if I could really pull this off or not. It was black fluted mini that hit me mid thigh. My ultra white legs were on display and I had considered and declined the idea of tights. It was nearly Spring and in the 50s so I wore a light jacket over wine colored cold shoulder top I wore. The shoes were the issue. Too warm for boots, heels were a big hell no, and too cold for sandals. I had finally chosen a black pair of ballet flats and now my outfit was complete.

When I walked through the door at Trent's, I was met with the sight of Trent himself, the grandmaster poobah of parties. I didnt know him personally, but everyone knew _of_ him. I wasn't even sure how I had gotten invited to this party, but his text invites generally made the rounds around our small school. "Come on in, Keegan. I have to say…" he paused to step aside and I immediately noticed his eyes checking me out. "I'm a little surprised to see you here. You don't usually come to my parties, do you?"

I turned to face him and shrugged. "No, but...I'm trying something new tonight."

His eyes honed in on any visible bare skin as I slid my jacket off my shoulders and grinned up at him. "Something new is good," he beamed. "Let's get a drink."

"Are you ever gonna tell me what's in this?"

"I told you," Trent laughed. "It's a little bit of everything with a whole lotta fruit punch."

"Mmm hmmm," I hummed at him from behind my ultra classy red Solo cup. "So no secret recipe?"

He shrugged as he reached for a handful of my hair and rubbed it between his fingers. "Nope. Just throw in whatever alcohol you can find and hope for the best."

I noticed he still held a few locks of my hair in his hands. "You like my hair?"

He grinned widely. "What's not to like? You're a natural redhead, right?"

I pulled his hand down and was surprised when he didn't let go of my fingers. "Yes, this is my natural hair color. And I've got the skintone to prove it." I lifted our joined hands and displayed the vast difference in our skin color. My alabaster tone was a stark contrast to his warm, russet one. I knew his father was Caucasian as he wasn't nearly as dark as the other boys on the reservation, but still beautiful nonetheless. His hair was nearly a dirty blonde color and he resembled a surfer with his shaggy locks tumbling all around his face. His eyes were an interesting shade of light brown, like coffee with cream in it. And currently they were staring into mine, almost as if he wanted to...

"Keegan."

I jerked my head toward the sound of Embry's voice as he stood on the other side of the island, glaring at me. Paul trailed in behind him, his eyes immediately flicking to Trent, me, and our blatant hand holding. Trent reached over to fist bump Paul with his free hand and then tipping his head back slightly to acknowledge Paul. Fuckboys united, I guess.

"You got beer?" Paul grumbled, carefully avoiding eye contact with me.

Trent nodded and let go of my hand. "In the fridge or we got this punch. Keegan seems to like it." Trent peeked into my cup and poured me a refill from a glass pitcher, much to Embry's dismay.

"You're drinking?" Embry groused as Trent and Paul dug into the fridge for beers.

I sipped my drink and tossed Embry a glare of my own. "I'm not driving. What's the big deal?"

"Why did you come here alone? I thought you wanted to go with me."

"And you came with Paul?" I shot back, leaning over the island ever so slightly. "What's up with that? It's like you're more worried about him than me?"

Embry sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "He just saw me walking and picked me up, it wasn't planned."

"Well I didn't plan on you running off on me after school and since you never texted me, I came alone."

Embry scowled as Trent and Paul approached with beers in hand. Trent stood behind me, gripping one of my shoulders softly. "There's a lot of girls here, Lahote. Surprised you haven't picked one yet."

Paul leaned against the island with his hip and sipped his beer with his fiery gaze locked on me. "And what about you, Trent? See anything you like?"

Trent lifted my hair with one hand and brushed his lips to the crook of my neck. Paul grimaced painfully and I didn't dare look at Embry. "I think I found something sweet," he murmured, lifting his head and releasing me slowly.

"Trent! Someone broke the hallway mirror!"

Trent growled and walked away, but not before grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "I'll come find you later," he told me with a sly smile.

I swallowed thickly, noticing Paul's steel gaze and preparing myself for the lecture that accompanied it. He stepped closer, pulling the cup from my hand and taking a drink before handing it back. He glanced at Embry and shook his head. "That shit is strong. You better keep an eye on her," he warned.

"What? You can't address me directly?" I challenged.

"And what the fuck would I say? We aren't even friends anymore, Keegan. You're Embry's problem now," he ground out through clenched teeth. He glanced down at my bare legs and sneered, "Cute skirt by the way. Real classy."

"Oh fuck you, Paul. I've been wearing stuff like this for a while now and you've never even noticed. Don't act all pissy now."

He scoffed and took a long swig of his beer before formulating a come back. He took a step closer, sucking his lower lip into his mouth while his dark, lusty eyes zeroed in on my mouth. I gasped when he gripped my chin between his forefinger and thumb, his gaze flickering between my lips and my eyes. "Fuck me?"

"That's what I said," I replied, inching closer to him instead of backing away like a sane person. "I really don't give a shit what you think about me anymore."

He smirked and raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?" He pulled his hand from my chin and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess that makes two of us because I don't care _what _you do. You wanna get drunk and get groped? Have fun with that."

Paul stepped back and got pushed by a guy working his way to the fridge. "Sorry," the jerk called as Paul stumbled toward me, gripping my hip with free hand, his mouth mere inches from mine.

I lifted my head slowly, my eyes still closed as I had steeled myself for a collision that didn't happen. "Look at me," Paul breathed, his voice softer and making my stomach erupt in butterflies. "Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes to find Paul breathing deeply, eyes darting away from me, his hand still holding me close to him. "I'm okay," I assured him softly.

Paul leaned closer, brushing his lips across my forehead before turning around and disappearing in the crowd. I stood there, stunned. What the hell was that? I caught a glimpse of Embry retreating as well. Shit.

I gripped the edge of the island to steady myself, wondering if it was Paul's weird mood shift that had me trembling or because I'd had too many cups of Trent's punch. Once again, I was faced with the decision to chase after Embry or let him sulk alone. I finished my drink off and squeezed my way out of the kitchen.

I pushed my way to the living room, noticing Trent on the opposite side of the room, waving me over enthusiastically. Paul stood near him and between the two of them were nearly a half dozen girls happily dancing and moving their bodies in an eager attempt to get their attention. Paul looked agitated and Trent seemed all too happy to have me join them.

I scanned the room to see Embry exiting out the glass slider door. I glanced back to Paul, getting handed another beer by one of those eager girls. Ugh. I decided that Paul could handle himself, whereas Embry probably needed my reassurance right now. Embry it is.

"Embry, can we talk about…"

That was all I got out before Embry spun me around, pulled me close and pressed his lips to mine. His hands moved up and down my back, finally settling on the area right above my ass. He held me securely as his lips assaulted mine. I reached up to grip the back of his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling gently as he moaned into my mouth.

And just as quickly as he began kissing me, he stopped just as abruptly. My hand flew up to my mouth, my fingers brushing over my tender lips. "What the hell was that?"

Embry blinked quickly as his hands slid to hold my hips instead. "I just…wanted to say I was sorry for running out on you after school."

I tipped my head back and kissed him once more, softer and sweeter than the one he just gave me. "I accept your apology. I don't know what I said to get you so pissed…"

"Can we forget it? Forget about Paul and Trent and all this?" Embry pleaded. "We said we'd come here and have fun together and that's what I wanna do."

I nodded and hugged him tightly, loving the way his arms felt encircling me, the way his skin smelled when I buried my face in his neck and how he was trying to keep me warm. "Let's go back inside," he urged when I shivered in his arms.

When I tried to pull Embry toward where everyone was dancing, he shook his head and sunk into a leather couch, pulling me into his lap as he did. Paul was still holding his post against the wall, watching the girls dance, but Trent was nowhere to be seen. I was glad. He seemed nice enough, but having him near me seemed to set Paul off and we didn't need that.

"I thought you might need a refill," Trent smiled as he offered me another cup of his punch.

Embry held me a little closer as I reached for the cup and thanked Trent. "Wanna dance?" Trent suggested, oblivious to the fact I was comfortable nestled against Embry.

"Maybe later?" I offered weakly. Trent seemed to accept and ambled back to the gaggle of girls waiting for him as they had begun doing the limbo with a pool cue.

I glanced back at Embry as I noticed his eyes were on my legs. I nervously tugged at the hem of my skirt, feeling super self-conscious about how much skin I was showing. "I like your outfit. I'm sorry Paul was an ass about it."

I smiled when Embry ran his hand up and down my bare calf. "Thank you. But maybe he was right, the guys keep staring."

"I can fix that," he announced before shrugging out of his zip-up hoodie and laying it over my bare legs. "Better?"

I nodded and leaned in to capture his lips with mine. "Thank you," I mumbled against his mouth.

He watched me take a few sips of punch before I offered him a drink. I laughed when he sniffed it first. He took a couple gulps and grimaced. "That's really awful," he choked out. "How can you drink that?"

I grinned and kissed him again, tasting the punch on his lips. "It just grows on you, I guess."

A half hour later, I was upstairs searching for a bathroom before my bladder exploded. I was making my way back to the stairs when I ran into Paul as he came out of one of the rooms. "Fuck! I'm sorry," he exclaimed as he held me closely. "I guess I should watch where I'm going, huh?"

I nodded and smiled, grateful that he didn't seem so angry now. "So...you and Embry made up?" he asked cautiously.

I nodded again, feeling a little guilty for not even attempting to back out of his grasp. We were both leaning against the wall, facing each other and neither of us had wanted to let go of the other. I had a hand on his shoulder, while his hand gently gripped my hip. "I'm sorry for what I said to you at school. I know there was a better way I could have handled all that. I never wanted to hurt you."

Paul shushed me as he held me to his chest and wrapped me in a warm hug. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said we weren't friends, Kee. You'll always be my friend, okay?"

I sighed softly as we released each other, but I was taken aback to see a girl emerge from the room that Paul had just exited.

"Baby, did you find those condoms? You should see if Trent has some."

Paul's eyes grew wide as he stared at me. "Is she talking to you?" I stupidly asked as I backed away from them.

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around Paul's waistbfrom behind and planted a sloppy kiss to his neck. "Of course, I'm talking to him. He's the one needing the condoms," she smirked.

My stomach started to turn when I noticed her hair was messy and her top three buttons were undone. I held my hand up to my mouth and gasped. "I gotta go."

I could hear Paul calling for me, but all I could do was grab Embry from the couch, find my jacket and get the fuck out. "What happened?" Embry shouted after me as I raced out the front door and down the driveway. I didn't want him to know what happened because then he would know how much it upset me to know that Paul was fucking someone else. Someone who wasn't me.

I convinced Embry that the punch had made me sick and I didn't want him to come home with me because I was too sick. I felt horrible for lying and that once again, Paul had come between us. I just couldn't get stop thinking that Paul had been so sweet to me while on his quest to find condoms to fuck some random girl at a party. How disgusting.

I knew it shouldn't bother me this much and more than that, I tried to ignore the nagging doubts I had about Paul. If was this jealous about his party hook up, then had I made a mistake in choosing Embry?

I finished getting ready for bed when I heard a knock at the door. I yanked it open, fully expecting Embry, but it wasn't Embry.

It was Paul. He looked miserable and when I attempted to slam the door in his face, he pushed the door open and stalked toward me. "You have to let me explain," he pleaded.

"No!" I argued, pushing him back toward the door.

"Please, Keegan! I didn't sleep with that girl."

I scoffed. "Why? Because you couldn't find any condoms?"

"No," he paused to reach for the back of my neck. "Because I don't want anyone else but you," he breathed.

…..

A/N: I hope everyone had an amazing holiday! I should have gotten more writing done but I was way too into reading other people's fics. I'm terrible! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for The cliffhanger but it had to be done! Please leave a review if you have time :)


	9. 9 - About Choices

**9 - About Choices**

It was Paul. He looked miserable and when I attempted to slam the door in his face, he pushed the door open and stalked toward me. "You have to let me explain," he pleaded.

"No!" I argued, pushing him back toward the door.

"Please, Keegan! I didn't sleep with that girl."

I scoffed. "Why? Because you couldn't find any condoms?"

"No," he paused to reach for the back of my neck. "Because I don't want anyone else but you," he breathed.

I stood there frozen, wedged between Paul and the arm of the couch. I held my breath when he fisted his hand in my hair and pressed his forehead to mine. "Please give me a chance to explain," he begged once more.

"Fine," I conceded with a shaky breath. "Five minutes, then you have to go."

I pulled his hand from my hair and turned my head to the side to slip past him. My hair brushed his face and he inhaled deeply. I walked around the couch and sat down with Paul trailing behind me. He sat on the coffee table directly in front of me. I tucked my feet under me and crossed my arms over my chest. Suddenly I was aware of my outfit when Paul's gaze traveled back and forth over my bare legs. I had changed into shorts, tank top and no bra after the party. With the way Paul stared, you would have thought I was wearing sexy lingerie.

"If you have something to say, then say it. Otherwise I'm going to bed."

Paul let his head drop into his hands, roughing up his hair a bit before looking up at me. He glanced over his shoulder, jerking his head toward the hallway. "Where's your parents?"

"Bed. It's late, ya know?" I sat there staring at him, running my hand up and down over my bare calves.

"Embry didn't come home with you?" he asked gently.

I shook my head and tried not to cry because I felt so guilty. "I didn't tell him why I ran out of that party. I shouldn't have gotten so upset finding out you were having sex with someone else. It's really just none of my business."

Paul leaned toward me, covering my hand with his. "I didn't have sex with her. That was Tessa, Trent's sister. That was her room she walked out of. I didn't …"

"I doesn't matter, Paul. We aren't together and you don't owe me an explanation."

"I do!" he insisted. He lowered his voice a bit and continued. "I came out of the bathroom and some guy ran out of her room. I heard her throwing shit and screaming. I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

I nodded and sighed. "And one thing led to another and…"

He raised his hand to cup my jaw, his thumb brushing over my lip. "Just let me finish...please?"

I twisted away from his hold on me. "Go ahead."

"She had just gotten into a fight with her boyfriend. Tessa was really drunk and he was mad, so he left. I sat with her for a minute while she calmed down. Then she was all over me. I pushed her away and told her I wasn't gonna touch her. She said I should go look for some condoms and I agreed so I could get away. I was never planning on going back in there. I didn't have sex with her."

I nodded and shrugged. "Okay? I really don't know what you want me to say."

Paul slid his hands behind my knees and pulled my legs out from underneath me. He scooted forward placing his legs on the outside of mine, our knees brushing each other. He held my hips firmly and look deep into my eyes. "I want you to stop looking at me like I hurt you. I hate that you think I would have sex with someone after I've been telling you for a week now, that you're the one I want to be with."

"We aren't together. I chose Embry."

"Yeah, you chose Embry," he scoffed. "Then you told him he was 'safe?' and you knew he would never hurt you. That's pretty fucked up, Keegan. So you didn't choose me because you thought I would?"

"You did! You let all those girls dance on you and I thought…"

"I didn't want any of them. Did you see me touch anyone tonight? Besides you?" I shook my head and he continued. "Why would I want them? You're everything I want, Keegan. Fuck! Do you know how hard this is for me? Knowing you want Embry and not me?"

He sighed deeply and knelt in front of me, pushing my legs apart so he could bury his face in my lap. Instinctively my hands went into his hair, smoothing it down in an effort to comfort him. He wrapped his arms around my midsection, gripping my back tightly as if I would float away. "I can't stand this, Keegan," he mumbled softly. "I don't know what to do without you."

I lowered my head to rest it on his. "I don't know either. I thought I was making the right decision, but after the way I acted tonight...I really don't know."

He raised his head slowly until our eyes met. "Why do you say that?"

"I shouldn't be that jealous. It's not fair to you or Embry. But I just couldn't help myself. And it's always been this way. I hate knowing that you sleep with other girls and not…" I stopped myself from finishing that sentence. I had no right to say it now. I should have said it before we kissed.

"Not you?" he finished, his gaze searching mine.

"It's too late now. Too much has happened and there's Embry."

Paul leaned in closer, his lips hovering over mine. "So are you trying to tell me you don't feel _anything _for me anymore?"

My breathing sped up as he stared at me intensely. "Yeah," I muttered shakily.

"You don't want me anymore?" he breathed as his lips brushed across my forehead.

"No," I gasped as he reached for my face with both hands.

More intense eye contact. "So then if I kissed you right now...you would feel nothing?" he challenged, even as his mouth angled over mine.

"That's right," I lied as my breath shuddered. I reached around his shoulders, pulling him close to me, knowing how wrong this was.

I pressed my mouth to his, kissing him roughly and gasping when he pulled me off the couch, hoisting me up with my legs around his waist. He turned and sat on the couch, holding me firmly as I straddled his lap. His hands moved all over me, squeezing and caressing me. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue ran along my lips and then slid into my mouth.

I gasped when Paul palmed my breast, brushing his thumb over my erect nipples. He broke off the kiss to trail his mouth down my neck. He pulled my tank top strap aside, revealing my bare shoulder and the top of my breast. I buried my fingers in his hair, loving the way his mouth felt on my skin. When he moved lower and paused, I reached under the fabric, lifted my breast and held it up to his mouth. His face broke out in a wide grin before he latched onto my nipple and sucked it into his mouth.

His lips on my skin caused my core to constrict with need. I started bucking my hips, feeling how hard Paul was underneath me. "Paul," I gasped when he switched to the other breast and began thrusting upwards, giving me the friction I needed.

I could feel my climax creeping up on me. I gripped the back of the couch, pulling harder, moving faster until it hit me. I shuddered violently as my orgasm slammed into me. I collapsed against his chest, a sweaty heaving mess. Paul smiled against my neck, kissing me softly whispering my name and holding me tightly.

I snuggled into his arms, holding him just as close. Then the regret set in. How could I have done that to Embry? I pulled away from Paul, looking anywhere but his face. "What's wrong?" he asked when I tensed up.

"I can't believe I did that," I gasped as I pushed my hair away from my face.

I peered down at Paul, who couldn't stop smiling. "That was really something, Kee."

"Don't smile at me," I grimaced. "I'm a terrible person."

Paul held me tightly in his arms as I struggled to stand. "It's okay, Keegan. You just need to tell Embry you made a mistake and…"

"What?" I scoffed. "You think this means we should be together?"

I scooted out of his lap and onto the coffee table, needing some distance but not being entirely sure I could stand on my wobbly legs. Paul smirked at me and it pissed me off. "Yeah, I think it means we should be together," he reasoned. "I mean, if Embry could get you off like that then you wouldn't need me, right?"

I scowled at Paul and raised my hand to snack him. "You're a pig!"

Paul grabbed both my wrists and held them down at my sides. I struggled against him as he leaned closer to me. "Easy, babe. If you hurt me then we won't be able to do that again."

"Good!" I yanked my hands from his grasp and pulled him up by the collar of his t-shirt. He laughed as I dragged him to the front door and moved to open it. He stood behind me and shut the door when I opened it. "Stop it, Paul."

Paul leaned into me, pressing against my back with his chest while one hand held the door shut. "Don't be pissed at yourself for getting something you really wanted."

"I had no right to do that," I murmured quietly. "I just told Embry this morning that I chose him and now I'm dry humping you on my couch."

I turned to face Paul. I saw the fear in his eyes. "Forget about Embry for just a minute. You've known him for what...a week? Think about us. We've been friends forever. We have a bond that no one else can understand. We've always been there for each other."

I leaned against the door, suddenly too weak to stand. The full weight of what I had done was crashing down on me as I stood there and stared into Paul's beautiful eyes. I got his hopes up. I cheated on Embry. I was fucking up left and right.

"I love you, Keegan."

My head was swimming.

"Did you hear me?"

Too intense. How close he stood to me. His lips so near mine. And a declaration of love? Oh hell no.

"You should go," I announced suddenly.

Paul's expression hardened a bit. "You don't love me, Keegan?"

I sighed deeply. "Of course I do. I always have. But you always hurt me, Paul. You'll lose interest and I'll get my heart broken." I paused and took a deep breath. "We should just stay friends."

Paul looked like I just slapped him in the face. "Just friends?" he scoffed. "You just came in my lap, Keegan. There is no fucking way I can just forget that."

I blinked quickly, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks. Paul used his free hand to grab my wrist and brush my hand over his still prominent erection, pressing from behind his now damp jeans. "You feel that? I'm not losing interest. This is how it is all the time when I'm around you. I want you. I need you. And it's not just lust. We could be so good together."

I let my hand fall away from his bulge. Even then, I still wanted him. I was tingling at the thought that _I _had gotten him that worked up. I could see and feel and hear how much he wanted me. My head was pounding. Maybe from the alcohol earlier, but more likely from war going on inside myself.

Did I trust Paul enough to hand my heart over to him? Could I trust him not to smash it into a million pieces?

"I need to think, Paul. I need time."

Paul wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. "Don't overthink this, Kee. You love me. You want me."

"But I don't trust you."

Paul sighed and released me. "We can work on that."

I nodded and smiled. "Maybe."

Paul held my face in his hands and kissed me softly. "Sweet dreams, baby."

We stepped away from the door as he slipped out and disappeared into the night. I trudged to my bedroom knowing I had a lot to think about and sleep would probably be the last thing I'd be doing.

"Keegan."

I groaned as I opened my eyes slowly. I saw Embry's sweet face smiling down at me. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, pushing my hair aside and looking like an angel. "Good morning," he beamed. "Are you feeling any better?"

I blinked quickly as the memories of last night came flooding back. "How...how did you get in here?" I asked groggily.

Embry shrugged. "Your mom let us in."

"Us?" I echoed as I sat up and propped myself up on the headboard.

Embry cocked his head back toward the doorway. "Yeah, me and Paul. We wanted to see if you wanted to go to the beach."

Paul was leaning against the open doorway. He locked eyes on me for a moment before disappearing down the hall.

"So how about it?" Embry pressed. "The beach? Does it sound like fun?"

I shrugged as Paul approached the side of my bed with a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. I gladly took a dose and gazed up at Paul. He kissed the top of my head and smoothed the hair away from my face.

I could feel myself blushing when I thought about us on the couch last night. Shit. I fell right to sleep after Paul left. I didn't think. I didn't come to any decisions about what I should do next. Paul wanted answers and Embry deserved the truth.

After I convinced them both to leave my room and let me get a shower, I dressed and found them in the living room, sharing a box of donuts. Paul offered me one and we set off for the beach in Paul's truck.

The tension in the truck felt thick. Maybe it was my guilt. Maybe it was the way Paul glared at me when Embry slung his arm over my shoulder and peppered my neck with kisses while we drove to the beach. My stomach was in knots. I was so afraid Paul would tell Embry what happened, that I knew I had to be the one to tell him.

Paul found a spot in the deserted parking lot and cut the engine. Embry glanced back and forth between us and furrowed his brow. "Are you guys okay? There's a weird vibe between you two today."

Obviously Embry is no dummy.

I shrugged and shook my head. "Everything is fine. Totally cool."

"You should tell him," Paul's deep voice grumbled.

Fuck.

Embry's expression turned to one of worry. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No," I answered.

"Yes," Paul replied the same time I did.

Fuck.

"Paul and I had a misunderstanding. I ran out of that party last night because...long story short, I thought Paul was hooking up with a girl from the party," I began, hoping Paul wouldn't add anything.

"You were pretty upset."

I nodded and dropped my gaze to my lap. "I know I shouldn't have been. But I was. I took off before Paul could explain what happened."

Embry sighed deeply. "And?" he asked impatiently, obviously frustrated and aware that there was more to the story.

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "So Paul came over last night to explain what happened with that girl."

Embry glanced between us again and growled lowly. "Did you fuck him?"

"Embry!" I scoffed loudly. "No! I couldn't do that."

"Oh really?" he scoffed back. "I see the little dance you two do around each other. I'm not stupid. Anyone can see how Paul flirts and you don't discourage it, Keegan. There's so much sexual tension between you two that I'd have to be an idiot not to notice."

Embry's words cut me deep. I suddenly felt horrible for him. He had been holding this in for a while now. Paul scooted closer to me and rested his hand on my hip. I sat between them like always so Embry had a clear view of Paul's hand.

Embry scoffed again. "Wow. So this is where I'm supposed to step aside and let you two ride off into the sunset together? Say that the best man won? Well fuck that. You're not better than me, Paul. You know you can't be faithful to her, so why fuck with her heart?"

"Fuck you," Paul growled, tightening his hold on me. "You don't know me well enough to know what I'm capable of. I love her. And you don't, so just walk away. You're a good guy, Embry. You'll find someone else."

"Enough!" I shouted at them both. "Stop fighting over me. This isn't worth it!"

Embry threw his hands up in the air and flung the truck door open. I scrambled out and followed Embry as he stalked across the parking lot. "Embry wait!" I called.

Embry whirled around to face me. "You lied, Keegan. You said you weren't using me to make him jealous and that's exactly what you did," he spat.

"No," I panted. "Nothing has changed, Embry. I still want to be with you."

Embry glanced over my shoulder and I followed his gaze. Paul was standing beside his truck watching us. "I don't think Paul got that memo. Whatever happened between you two last night is obviously making him think he won."

"This isn't some fucking game, Embry. I'm not some prize to be won."

"Tell him that," he retorted, gesturing back to Paul. "I thought we were good last night. After we made up, I thought we were having fun together...like we always do. What the hell went wrong?"

I peered up at him and sighed. "I just got so jealous. I don't know why it bothered me so much," I admitted sadly.

"Maybe you should figure that out," Embry replied coldly. "Spend some time with him and find out what it is you really want."

"Seriously?"

He nodded and shrugged. "But don't expect me to wait for you, Keegan. I gotta have some pride, ya know?"

"I'm sorry." I reached for his face and was surprised when he let me cup his jaw with my hand. He pressed a kiss to my palm and then leaned in to kiss my lips. He deepened the kiss and then pulled away abruptly.

"That's what you'll be missing if you don't pick me," he breathed. He stared at me for a moment more before turning on his heel and leaving me standing there alone.

What the hell did I just do?

...

A/N: things are hearing up! Let me know what you think so far!


	10. 10 - About Being Friends

**10 - About Being Friends **

I stood there watching Embry walking away from me for I don't even know how long before Paul approached me. "Keegan," he murmured softly from behind me.

I sucked in a deep breath and swung around to face him. "Why the hell did you do that?"

Paul's eyes widened like saucers, reacting to my harsh tone. "Do what?" he inquired innocently.

I shoved him and growled. "Say I should tell him! You couldn't let me do that my own way? Why couldn't you just stay out of it?"

Paul sighed deeply and I noticed the way his upper lip twitched as his mouth formed a hard line. "I didn't like the way he was touching you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious? Up until a few minutes ago, he was my boyfriend! You don't get a say if he touches me or not. And if you don't want to see it, then why did you come?"

Paul opened his mouth to speak, but was met by my raised palm. "Nevermind. I know the answer to that one. You had to be here to interfere. The one thing I _begged _you not to do."

I stared at Paul for a moment before stalking off toward the beach. He pulled on my upper arm, yanking me back to face him. "Did you really just tell him nothing had changed...that you still wanted to be with him?" he seethed.

"Leave me alone," I grumbled, squirming to get out of his hold.

Paul didn't let up. He pulled me closer, using his other hand to press into the small of my back. "I wish I could," he uttered angrily. "I wish I could walk away from you, from all this love triangle bullshit. But dammit, Keegan. I can't fucking do that."

His voice was low and growly. He held me in his arms, both hands on lower back now. "And why is that?" I retorted defiantly. "Huh?" I added, raising my chin.

His hands slid lower, until the cupped my ass. I gasped loudly when he jerked me close. "Because of that. Those sounds you make when I press into you," he whispered into my hair. Paul lifted a hand to my mouth, plucking my lower lip with his thumb. "Because of this. And the way you kissed me last night," he added desperately, lowering his gaze to meet mine.

"And I'm sorry I was impatient...but there was no way I could just sit there and not say anything. Not after last night. Not after the way you came."

I stared up at him, panting. I hated the way I couldn't control myself with him. I hated how his eyes, those 'come fuck me' eyes, had me so entranced. Physically, my body craved Paul more than I ever wanted to admit, but my heart wanted my sweet Embry.

Shit.

"Can't you just forget it?" I practically whined.

"You want me to?" he challenged, pulling me tightly against his body. "Because you keep saying you don't want this and yet here you are," he panted.

"I don't want this," I uttered breathlessly, my eyes wide with want.

Paul's face hardened, his lip curling into a sneer. "Fine."

And just like that, he released me. I stumbled back a bit, my chest heaving from the adrenaline. "You're such a dick," I spat.

"Oh yeah?" he smirked. "And you're a tease."

"Go fuck yourself, Paul." I squared up to him, refusing to back down. "You just can't handle rejection. And I never told you I would dump Embry, so you have no right to be pissed."

"No right?" he echoed painfully. "You keep jerking us both around. So I think I have every right to be pissed. And you still didn't tell Embry what we did last night so maybe I should."

I stood there gaping at him when he walked away from me. "Don't do it, Paul. Stop trying to fuck up my life. If you do this...we are done," I threatened as he froze on the spot.

"Aren't we done anyway?" he replied, his voice cracking. Paul refused to face me. He just stood there for a moment and then stalked back to his truck.

Me? I ran.

I ran toward the water and had to stop myself from jumping in. I didn't feel like fighting the waves. I didn't feel like fighting anything or...anyone.

Instead I walked the beach, kicking rocks and flipping over shells with my shoes. I thought and I yelled and I talked to myself. I don't know how I ever screwed this up so badly.

I couldn't stop hurting Embry. I couldn't stop wanting Paul. In the end, I decided I shouldn't be with either one of them. My head was too screwed up. That point was made clear with all the bad decisions I had made this past week. One bad decision after another.

After a couple hours had passed and I felt too overwhelmed with my emotions to sit alone on a beach, I decided to head home. My stomach dropped when I saw Paul's truck was gone. Why did I think he would wait?

Why would either of them want to sit around and wait for me to get my head on straight? If I asked Embry for another chance, what would that do to Paul? Paul would be crushed. If I tried a relationship with Paul, Embry would feel used, like he already does.

Shit.

I trudged through the parking lot, kicking the extra sand off my shoes as I went. My eyes found Paul's truck, parked in a different spot, backed in under the shade of a tree. I didn't see him sitting in the cab and I checked the backseat, too. When I walked around the back of the truck, I found him.

He was lying in the bed of his truck asleep on a blanket, his forearm bent and covering his eyes. His t-shirt had ridden up a little, showing the smooth skin of his stomach and a tiny smattering of hair leading below his waistband. He was truly beautiful. I knew my attraction for him wasn't based solely on his physical appearance.

As much as he infuriated me, I knew in my heart that Paul Lahote was a sweetheart. He had always cared for me, looked out for me, gone out of his way to cheer me up when I needed it. Other people didn't know him like I did. He was my person. Even now, he was still the first person I thought of when I had good news, bad news or heard some funny joke I knew he would think was hilarious.

"Paul." I reached over the side and pulled on his socked foot. "Wake up."

He grumbled a little, but barely moved. I sighed and hoisted myself up onto the tailgate. I crawled toward him, noticing the sheen of sweat on his arm and stomach. It was nearly noon and the sun was beating down. He was in the shade, the only reason he hadn't gotten sunburnt already.

I shook him a few times, but he was really out.

I turned back to lie beside him. I noticed that the bed if his truck was unnaturally comfortable. I looked up to see the tree above swaying gently in the breeze. I sighed when Paul rolled over and smoothed his hand over my stomach. He curled his hand around my waist and pulled me close.

When his nose found my neck and inhaled deeply, I felt him relax against me. I laid there stiff for a moment, wondering what he would do next. I smiled when I realized he was still asleep. I had forgotten how much he loved to cuddle. On the nights we slept in the same bed, we never started off this way. But somehow in the night, we always gravitated toward each other. In the morning, we would awkwardly laugh as we untangled ourselves. He would say it was me who started it. I always wondered. Now I think it was him.

I drifted off in my memories of Paul. My thoughts of how right this felt warmed me even more than the springtime sun beating down on the water nearby. I hadn't realized how comfortable I felt in his arms or how much I missed him. I sighed deeply as u felt my body relax and drift off to sleep.

"Well hello there."

My eyes fluttered open to find Paul gazing down at me. He was flat on his back, one arm wrapped around me as I lay curled up to his side. My head had been on his chest and my leg was bent and resting over his hips. When I moved my thigh to back away, Paul hooked his hand on my knee, fingers curled behind as he held me in place.

"Don't move, Kee. You could really hurt me right now," he murmured, his smirk evident.

I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh. My eyes widened at the realization and I could feel myself blushing. "Sorry. Did I...do that?"

I honestly didn't remember rolling over to him. I was obviously clinging to him. He chuckled as he brushed his lips across my hairline. "I almost always wake up like this. But since you're hanging all over me, yeah, it's your fault."

I squirmed in his arms as I scoffed. "You were all over me first!"

Paul wouldn't let me roll away from him. He held me tightly to his body, his hand firmly pressed to the small of my back, while the other still held me leg. "I'm innocent," he claimed. "I fell asleep back here alone."

"I couldn't wake you up," I admitted as I tipped my head back and looked for his eyes.

He let go of my leg, instead bringing that hand to cup the side of my neck, his thumb brushing my jaw. "This feels nice, Keegan. I've missed sleeping next to you."

His voice was soft and low. His eyes twinkled as they darted back and forth to scan mine. With every fiber of my being, I knew he wanted to kiss me. And I wanted him to. I just wanted to forget everything I've done and how badly I've screwed up. I wanted to forget he's an ass.

"Paul," I murmured, almost sounding like a whimper. "We shouldn't do this."

"Do what?" he teased, even as he lowered his lips to my neck and kissed his way up to my ear and back down again.

I tipped my head back, allowing him to explore further. He moaned softly as his tongue trailed the underside of my chin. "I want you so bad," Paul exhaled.

My eyes snapped open as I realized I was making, yet again, another mistake. I shifted my body over his, straddling his hips and pinning his hands over his head. Paul chuckled in response. "Is this a deterrent?" he sighed. "Cuz I gotta be honest, Keegan. This only makes me want you more."

I gasped when he opened his legs, forcing my weight to drop lower on his groin. His eyes rolled back from the contact. I swallowed thickly as he began raising his hips up, pressing into me. It was all I could do to not meet his thrusts. I put more pressure on his wrists and noticed the way his eyes darkened and the groan that passed through his perfect lips.

"I'm surprised you like this so much," I taunted, lowering my breasts near his mouth before backing off.

"Surprised?" Paul echoed, growling a little in frustration. "Why wouldn't I love you holding me down right now?" He paused and laughed, his smile wide and bright. "Although you must know...I'm totally letting you overpower me right now."

I smirked. "Yeah sure," I challenged, pressing harder on his wrists.

His eyes flashed with excitement as he rolled us over pressed me back and held my wrists in the same way. "Who's in charge now?"

I scowled and squirmed below him, groaning when he nudged my thighs closed and straddled my hips. "Say it, Keegan. Say I'm in charge of you. I dominate you, not the other way around."

"Get off!" I squealed when he lowered his face to mine. "You don't dominate anything about me, Paul Alexander Lahote. You're so full of yourself!"

Surprisingly, he released my hands, but remained sitting on my hips. He kept his full weight on me as he sat up. I kept lying there, chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. He just smiled at me, admiring how worked up he made me. Revenge time.

I gazed up at him, fluttering my lashes as I reached for the button on his jeans. I slid my fingers behind the button, my thumb hovering in front. He lowered his eyes, locking in on my hand. I watched as his breathing sped up. He leaned forward, his palms flat on the bed of the truck on either side of my hips. My gaze flicked to his lips as they hovered just above mine.

Paul's eyes drifted closed when I let the back of my fingers brush over the trail of hair near his waistband. The one I've never touched. The one I can't stop looking at… or wondering where it leads. Like I don't know. Like I can't feel it every time he's up against me. I know. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. For a moment, I almost felt bad for what I'm about to do. Almost.

But not really.

"Fuck!"

Paul howled when I shoved him back and his head hit the end of the tailgate. He nearly tumbled out of the bed as I scrambled over him and made a break for it. "Dominate this, asshole!" I called out as my feet hit the ground and I ran.

I gasped when Paul caught up to me, wrapping his huge arms around mine, lifting me right off the ground by my midsection. "Asshole?" he chuckled. "Did you really call me that after what you just did to me?"

I wiggled in his arms as he carried me back to the truck and deposited me in the front passenger seat. I sat there suppressing a smile as he drove me home. He fidgeted in his seat, adjusting the crotch of his jeans uncomfortably. I gave him a sideways glance and chuckled. "You okay over there?"

He ignored me, so I slid closer and turned to face him. Finally he spoke, "You're the asshole, Keegan. That shit you pulled...I'll get you for that."

"Oooh. I'm scared," I teased.

"You should be," Paul growled softly, as his hand slid over my thigh, resting just below the hem of my shorts.

I turned back to look straight ahead, not bothering to remove Paul's hand. "So did you come to any decisions while you were out there screaming on the beach?"

I gave Paul a sideways glance and smiled at him. "You were listening?"

"It was hard not to," he smirked as his thumb rubbed a circle on my exposed thigh, dipping past the edge.

I nodded and tried to regulate my breathing. "Why didn't you just leave?"

He sighed deeply. "I wanted to. I was so pissed at you. I tried to drive off, but…"

"But what?" I prodded as we pulled up to my house and he cut the engine.

He clenched his jaw before turning to face me fully. "I wanted…" he lowered his gaze to my lap and shook his head.

"What?" I breathed as I smoothed my flattened palm up the side of his face.

"I wanted to be there if you needed me," he blurted quickly, his gaze not quite meeting mine.

"Paul," I sighed as he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly to his chest.

Paul pulled back slowly and held my face in his large hands. He bit down on his lower lip as he peered down at my mouth. I sighed when he traced my lips with his thumb. "So fucking beautiful," he murmured as my eyes drifted closed.

I felt my core tighten as he breathed against my mouth. I leaned up in anticipation of his kiss, only to feel nothing. I opened my eyes to find him smirking at me. "You might want to think twice about messing with me again, Keegan."

I scoffed. "Really?"

He pulled away from me fully and started his truck back up. "See ya around, I guess."

I scrambled out of my seat and fled to the front door. Damn, I guess I'll never learn.

I spent the next 24 hours considering my next move. I needed to make a choice and stick with it. I just had to decide once and for all, who I wanted.

The next afternoon, I walked the few blocks to get to Paul's house. His mom opened the door and we talked for a little bit before she sent me upstairs to see my oldest friend.

I leaned against the outside of the doorway and peered in. Jared noticed me first. "Well what do we have here?" he teased as he paused the video game with the controller he held in his hand and stood to cross the room. "Long time, no see, Keegan."

I chuckled as I stepped inside and let Jared sweep me into a hug. "You look good," he gushed as he wrapped his arms around my neck. "You feel good too," he added, flirting like always.

I hugged Jared around his waist and laughed. "You act like you never see me."

Jared pulled away slowly and nodded. "Well since you started hanging out with these two, I feel like I never do."

I glanced over at Paul and noticed Embry sitting next to him. I didn't see Embry before. His expression was hard and unreadable and suddenly I felt nervous to be here. Jared glanced at me and then at them. "So...I guess I'll go. I'll see you guys tomorrow at school then?"

I touched Jared's forearm and smiled. "You don't have to leave because of me."

Jared hooked a finger under my chin and raised it a bit. "It's not. I made plans to see Kim before dinner, so I should go." He tossed a head nod at his two friends squeezed my shoulder and was out the door before I could say another word.

Embry stood up and placed his controller on the floor. "I should go too. I should see if my mom needs any help."

I sighed when I realized how uncomfortable my presence was making Embry. "I wish you would stay," I uttered honestly as I crossed the room to face him.

He glanced at me and then Paul. "I don't know," he muttered hesitantly. "Obviously you came to see Paul, so…"

"I have something to say to both of you. I just didn't realize you'd be here, but I'm glad you are."

Embry sighed and nodded slowly. Paul sat fiddling with his controller, his face etched in anger. "Is that okay, Paul? If I stay and talk to both of you?"

He tossed the controller up on the bed behind him and shrugged. "You're here, so why not?"

Embry resumed his spot next to Paul as they both sat with their backs to the bed. I sat between them, facing them, suddenly speechless with my stomach tied up in knots. I rubbed my hands on my jean shorts and sighed. "I just wanted to say...this has been one of the best...and worst weeks of my life."

I paused to make eye contact with each of them, wondering if either of them would speak to me after this. "I've thought about this a lot and I've come to a decision about who I should be with and what's best for me."

"And who would that be?" Embry urged, trying his best not to sound too eager.

My gaze flicked back and forth between them and I swallowed thickly. I knew once I said this, I couldn't go back. It would be out there and if have to deal with the consequences. I sucked in a deep breath and steeled myself for their response.

"I choose…"

...

A/N: sorry for the evil cliffhanger. Until next time...


	11. 11 - About Me

**11 - About Me**

"I've thought about this a lot and I've come to a decision about who I should be with and what's best for me."

"And who would that be?" Embry urged, trying his best not to sound too eager.

My gaze flicked back and forth between them and I swallowed thickly. I knew once I said this, I couldn't go back. It would be out there and if have to deal with the consequences. I sucked in a deep breath and steeled myself for their response.

"I choose…"

I nibbled on my lower lip and furrowed my brow as my gaze drifted back and forth between them. "I...can't. I can't do it. I'm sorry."

I stood and immediately felt Paul's hands grip my calves. "Don't leave."

Embry shifted to kneel below me and reached for my hand. "Just say it, Keegan."

I sighed deeply and sank back down to the floor. I sat between Paul's legs, while Embry knelt beside me. I ran both hands through my hair and shook my head. "I didn't think it would be this hard," I admitted.

"I can't be that bad, Keegan," Embry replied weakly. "Paul and I have already talked about it and whomever you choose...the other one will step aside. No more bullshit. No more tug-of-war. We swear."

I believed Embry. I knew he would've respected boundaries better than Paul had. Then my stomach tensed when I wondered if Paul had told him about our romp on the couch. Shit. I glanced at Paul and looked for an unspoken sign. Instead he hung his head and nodded.

Paul made a clicking noise with his tongue before lifting his head and meeting my gaze. "He's right, Keegan. I agreed. I'll stay out of your way if you choose him."

Another deep breath. "I just can't choose. I've thought and thought and I just can't hurt either one of you. So…"

"You want us both?" Paul asked skeptically as his brows raised with curiosity.

"Yes."

Embry swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Um, really? Are you sure, Keegan?"

I nodded quickly. "Of course. I want you both to be my friends. If I date one of you, then the other is left out. We should all just stay friends."

Embry glanced at Paul, who began to laugh. Then they both did. I scowled at them both. "What the hell is so funny?"

Embry started wiping tears away, trying to stop laughing so he could speak. "We just...we thought you meant something totally different."

"Like what?" I demanded defensively. I hated feeling like I had been left out of a private joke. "What are you guys talking about?"

Paul cleared his throat and shook his head. "Just forget it, Kee. Needless to say, we were a little confused."

I glanced back and forth between them, searching for the answer that neither one of them wanted to share. I scrunched up my face into a pout as they both continued to stifle a laugh. Suddenly it dawned on me what they thought I had meant.

"You thought I wanted a threesome?!"

Paul's eyes went wide as he lunged forward, slapping his hand over my mouth. "Lower your voice!" he whisper-shouted. "You want my mom to hear that?"

I pulled his hand from my mouth and scowled. "Jeez, paranoid much?"

Embry laughed again and it pissed me off. "So what's so funny? I mean, is it that far-fetched to think I...might...want to try it?"

They looked at each other and the uproarious laughing started all over again. "You know what?" I sighed. "Go fuck yourselves. Both of you! Such dickheads."

I reached over Paul to retrieve the video game controller he had thrown onto his bed. He tried to grab for me, but I twisted away from him, moving to lie on my stomach between them. I restarted the game, flipping through the car choices in the racing game. "Dickheads."

The laughing finally subsided. I could hear them talking behind me, quietly discussing something else, probably another joke about me. I paused the game and rolled back over. "Seriously, guys? Please explain to me why this is so funny."

I sat up between them and shrugged my shoulders, hoping someone would say something. "Come on, Keegan. A threesome? That's a little adventurous for you, don't you think?" Paul smirked, pissing me off even more.

I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "Oh okay, Mr. Adventure. So you've had a threesome before?"

His mouth twisted up in snooty pout and shook his head, his gaze dropping to the floor. "No, I haven't," he finally admitted.

"You?" I challenged Embry, already knowing the answer there too.

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Okay then. So when it comes to this type of stuff, none of us are more experienced than the other."

Paul chuckled. "But, Keegan. You're a virgin," he scoffed. "I just can't picture you having a threesome."

I sighed softly and lowered my chin while keeping my eyes locked on his. "Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

Paul opened his mouth as he searched for a comeback. But he didn't have one. I got him. Embry glanced between us and then focused on me. "So what does that mean? You want to?"

Paul's gaze snapped to Embry as his brow furrowed. "No way."

I smiled a little, feeling a tightness in my core that I had never felt so intensely before. "What's wrong, Paul? Afraid you won't measure up?" I taunted.

Paul growled a little when my hand drifted to Embry's thigh. Embry looked down and watched me rub circles on his skin, right where the hem of his basketball shorts stopped.

Like I said before, Embry ain't no dummy. He skimmed a hand up my arm, over my shoulder, coming to rest against the side of my neck. My eyes drifted closed as I squeezed his thigh, silently asking for more. His thumb dragged along my jaw, pausing to tip my head back. Embry replaced his hand with his lips, kissing down my neck and across my collarbone.

I opened my eyes to find Paul staring at me, glaring at Embry, watching him attack my neck with open mouth kisses. Paul's jaw was clenched, anger etched in his features. I reached for him with my other hand. His mouth parted when I slid my thumb across his lips. I watched his eyes darken when his tongue peeked out to taste the tip of my thumb. His hand suddenly appeared in my hair, twisting the locks between his fingers.

I tipped my head in Paul's direction as his hand gripped the hair at the back of my head tightly. His mouth hovered above mine as I fisted the front of his t-shirt desperately in my hand. "Kiss me," I whimpered. He glanced over at Embry as Embry unlatched himself from my neck.

Paul hesitated so I leaned toward Embry instead. Embry smiled softly and captured my chin between forefinger and thumb. I sucked in a quick breath before he pressed his lips to mine, soft and sweet, like always. I inhaled his moans as the kiss deepened and I felt his hand brush over my nipple with a feather light touch. I gasped when I felt my skin pebble under his fingers.

I let my hand drift to Paul's lap, needing to feel he was still with me. I didn't want to torture him. I wanted him to join us. Suddenly the idea that had them both laughing not long ago, had consumed my every thought. No planning, no real consideration, I just did it. I knew that part of what had fueled my enthusiasm was Paul's doubt in me. I longed for him to see me as something more than just an inexperienced virgin.

I also knew deep down somewhere, I didn't want to be compared to those other girls he had been with before. I wanted to be better than them, stand out for my own merits. I could be sexual, dammit! He just had to get over the jealousy of seeing me with Embry and then we could all have fun.

Embry pulled away breathlessly with an unmistakable grin on his face. He shifted around behind me, kneeling with hands on my hips. I felt his mouth near my ear and his teeth grazing my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut before turning to face Paul again. I opened my eyes to find Paul staring again. "Don't you want me?" I murmured to him through a hooded gaze.

He sighed deeply and cocked his head. I could see he was fighting it. I let my hand drift over to cup him through his shorts. He was turned on and yet denying himself. He covered his hand with mine, I assumed so he could shove my hand away, but he didn't. He squeezed his erection with my hand still gripping him. I watched as his eyelids grew heavy and he blew out a sharp breath between clenched teeth.

"Fuck," he sighed as he leaned forward and brushed his lips to mine. I pressed myself closer to him, needing to feel his body.

"Shit!" I gasped when we heard Paul's mom, Cindy coming up the stairs.

"Paul! Are your friends staying for dinner?" Cindy called as she approached the door and began to turn the doorknob.

The three of us scrambled away from each other, grabbing the controllers and trying to make it look as though we had been playing a video game, and not making out.

Embry and I both stayed for dinner. I didn't know about him, but I was hoping we could continue this later. I couldn't focus all through dinner. My mind wouldn't stop wandering back to Paul and Embry and what else the three of us could do to each other. I was still worried about Paul. I knew he was the jealous type and this sort of thing wouldn't work if he was going to be constantly jealous. I decided that we couldn't go any further until we laid down some ground rules.

I was so consumed in my thoughts that didn't even notice Cindy speaking to me until Paul reached over to squeeze my thigh. I gasped and coughed and tried to recover. "What was that?" I sputtered, reaching for my ice water and taking a big gulp.

"I was asking if you were getting excited about next weekend?"

"Next weekend?" I echoed nervously.

My eyes drifted to Paul and then Embry. Embry spoke. "Spring break starts on Friday."

"Oh wow, yeah. I totally forgot!" Sorry, Cindy. My mind has been so preoccupied with your son and Embry, that I totally forgot about our little vacation from school.

"Well your parents and I have been discussing it and we can't wait to spend some time at the lake house. It'll be nice to get away for a while, don't you think?"

I nodded and twirled some spaghetti on my fork. Staying at the lake house would be great. Paul and I always have rooms on the top floor, while our parents stay on the main floor. The last few years, they've left us alone for long periods of time, too. It could be the perfect place for us to explore.

My eyes drifted to Embry, who looked a little sad. I wanted him to go with us, but it wasn't my place to offer. I peered at Paul, whose deep, dark eyes couldn't stop finding mine. I tipped my head in Embry's direction and shrugged. I hoped he would understand my silent request. He rolled his eyes and shook his head a bit. Ass. I knew I shouldn't be surprised, but still. Obviously he still wasn't completely on board with the whole threesome idea.

I gave Paul a side eye glance as my hand drifted over to his lap from under the table. Discreetly, I smoothed my hand up his thigh and watched him squirm. I let my fingers trail higher and higher, but never quite landing on his desired destination. He growled a little when it was made obvious that I wouldn't be grabbing his junk. He sighed in frustration.

"Mom, do you think Embry could come too?" Paul finally asked, earning him a quick squeeze and a huge smile from me.

Embry looked shocked at the invitation. In gave him the puppy dog eyes when it looked like he might try to back out. In the end, he had to ask his mom but I felt certain we could get her to agree.

After dinner, we helped clear the table, but when I started to wash the dishes, Cindy shooed us away and told us to go have some fun and let her do the rest. Paul glanced at me with a wild look in his eyes. When we reached the landing of the staircase, he pulled on my hand, guiding me toward the basement door. "What about Embry?" I asked as we descended the steep, carpeted stairs.

Paul groaned as he pulled me over to the large sectional and shoved me lightly. I toppled back, gazing up at him in wonder. "I can't have a few minutes alone with you? He just went to the bathroom. He'll find us."

I let myself fall back on the sectional, peering up at Paul as he knelt with one knee between my thighs, arms planted with one of the back of the couch, the other one gripping the cushion near my hip. "Paul," I sighed as I reached for the waistband of his shorts, smiling when he collapsed on me, between my thighs.

The ultra comfy suede sectional seemed to swallow us. I held back a moan when Paul nestled deeply into me with our pelvises touching. He was even harder than when we were in his room. The tension and teasing between the three of us was making my skin prickle and spark with need. I knew I was wet. I knew I desperately needed a release. Without it, I was sure this sectional would erupt in flames all around us.

Paul thrust his hips deep into me and I arched my back in response. "We shouldn't," I protested weakly, even as I lifted my hips to meet his.

Paul bit down on his lower lip as he began twisting his hips in a circle, causing me to have a hard time catching my breath. "What's wrong, Keegan? Are you afraid you'll come...again?"

"Again?" Embry's voice echoed through the darkened room.

I froze. Paul groaned. Fuck.

I stared up at Paul, just hating him in the moment. Obviously he hadn't talked to Embry about the couch romp, but now he knew anyway. I pushed Paul off of me and turned to see Embry flop into the corner of the sectional behind me. He glared at us, silently demanding answers. "So why did you lie, Keegan? You told me you didn't fuck him."

I crawled toward Embry, hearing Paul groan as my ass swayed in his face and he grabbed two handfuls. "Behave!" I ordered from over my shoulder. Paul growled and flopped back to sit.

Embry's expression was tight and full of anger. He refused to look at me. I straddled his lap, resting my ass on his thighs. His upper lip twitched as I smoothed the tip of my finger over it. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I lowered my mouth to his neck and kissed where his pulse throbbed.

Embry turned his head to see Paul watching from a few feet away. "Are you sorry too?" Embry demanded angrily.

I turned my head to see Paul sighing and moving to stand. I held Embry's face in my hands and tipped his head back to meet my gaze. "We didn't plan for it. It happened," I sighed, holding his face tighter when he tried to look away. "I'm so sorry," I murmured softly, hating that we hurt him.

Embry's eyes raised to meet Paul's as he stood closely behind me. "I'm sorry too, Embry. I didn't respect your relationship and that…was really wrong of me."

"Whatever," he grumbled. "I don't care what you guys do anymore. Fuck each other's brains out for all I care." Embry yanked my hands away from his face and scowled at us both.

Paul leaned over me and let his hands slide down the front of my shirt. He deftly unhooked my bra in the front and lifted my breasts out from the confines of my loose-fitting tee. He rolled my nipples between his thumb and forefinger as my head fell back and my hips began to rock forward.

I watched as Embry's breath hitched and I felt him harden beneath me. His hands, that had been balled up in fists, were now open and smoothing up the front of my bare thighs. I gripped Embry's shoulders tightly as I rocked faster. Paul leaned down to lick the shell of my ear as he breathed, "Fuck, I love watching you come...even if it's not with me."

I felt my chest tighten with want when Paul lifted one of my breasts to Embry's lips and we watched as he sucked the painfully hard nipple between his lips. "Fuck," Paul groaned as he let go of me and walked away. I didn't even have time to think about it as my orgasm began to climb up my thighs and back down again, causing my toes to curl behind me.

I arched my back sharply and shuddered in Embry's arms as my climax took hold. I lowered my gaze to meet Embry's and saw the dark lust in his eyes and the proud smile he couldn't hide. I sighed loudly as I collapsed against his chest and struggled for air. "Oh Embry," I murmured breathlessly. This release was so much stronger than what I had experienced with just Paul.

And now I was worried. What if I was becoming addicted to having them both? Surely this arrangement would only be for a limited time. Would I be just as happy with only one of them?

Paul returned as I climbed off of Embry's lap and tried to adjust my now damp shorts. I crawled to the space between them and moved to lie flat on my back. Paul scooted over and lifted my head to lie in his lap. Embry moved closer too, shifting my legs to drape across his thighs.

"Are we even now?" Paul asked Embry with all the cocky swagger I had come to expect from him.

Embry chuckled and nodded, even reaching over to fist bump Paul.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "I swear, you two. I honestly never expected you guys to become so close."

"I think we're gonna get a whole lot closer if we end up sharing the same girl," Embry joked as he ran his hand over his face and through his sweat soaked hair.

"Yeah, probably," Paul chuckled.

I sighed deeply and decided now would be a good time to bring up the ground rules. In the end, we agreed to keep jealousy to a minimum and if anyone wanted out of the arrangement, then we would talk about it.

"And what about cheating?" Embry inquired as his brow furrowed adorably. "Like what if there's just two of us? Can we only do this if all three are present?"

I laughed as I sat up, situating myself between them. "You mean would I care if you two had sex and I wasn't there?"

"Are you serious?" Paul laughed. "That's not gonna happen. In fact, if he touches me when we're having sex, I'll probably freak."

"Wow, Paul, really? I'm truly offended that you're not the least bit attracted to me, you big sexy hunk you," Embry declared in a prissy way, batting his eyelashes for the full effect.

"Fuck off!" Paul howled as Embry leaned over me and reached for the back of Paul's neck.

They wrestled for a bit, with me caught in the middle. I smiled at the thought that this might really work. Paul shocked me when he pulled me across his lap and held the back of my head in his large, warm hand. "So what about kissing? Can I kiss you if he's not around?" Paul asked with his eyes locked on my lips and a breathless sound to his voice.

"I think kissing is okay," Embry announced as he moved a little closer.

Paul smiled and nodded as his mouth descended upon mine. He kissed me hungrily and left me panting for more. Embry pulled on my hand, urging me close to him as his lips captured mine as well. I could feel my whole body heating up. Paul was palming both my breasts from behind as Embry kissed his way up and down my neck.

"Maybe we should slow down," I whimpered as Embry's hand crawled up between my thighs.

"We should wait for Spring Break," Paul suggested, his voice low and husky. "Wait until we can be alone and take our time."

My whole body tingled at the thought. Now I just had to make it through the week.

…

A/N: okay I know I told myself I wouldn't turn this into a threesome fic, but this was also only supposed to be a one-parter and it just took off from there. I know some of you may not like where this is going but I swear, it's a just a detour! Please don't give up on it yet ;)


	12. 12 - About Us

**12 - About Us**

"Okay, okay, okay!" I laughed as I twisted away from Paul and Embry on the couch. The kissing and touching is driving me crazy and the anticipation for the weekend and all that we will be able to do to each other was hanging over all of us. I couldn't talk about it. I was embarrassed for them to know how badly I wanted it.

"Where are you going?" Paul sighed with a smile as I stood and tried to adjust my shorts.

"Bathroom," I huffed. I gave him a scowl when he raised his legs and trapped me between him and coffee table they rested on. "Move it."

Paul leaned toward and slid his hands up the back of my knees. "Bathroom? For what?"

"What do you think?" Embry chuckled. "She has to pee. She's not going in there to jack off...she's not like you, Paul."

My mouth hung open. "That's where you went?" I accused. "When you left the room earlier? You went to…"

Paul rolled his eyes and slumped back against the couch. "God, Embry. You have a big mouth, you know that?"

Embry smiled and looked only slightly guilty. "Damn, man. I thought she knew."

"No, she didn't." Paul glared at Embry before a mischievous grin began to tug at the corners of his mouth. "Just like she didn't know that _you _were doing the same thing before we came down here."

My mouth fell open again. "Why?" I gasped.

Embry ran his hand over his face before reaching for me and yanking my body on top of his. "Because I couldn't wait any longer. You had me so worked up."

My whole body tingled at his sexy admission. I buried my face in his neck and hugged him tightly. I couldn't help it. His words made me feel so good, so wanted.

Paul scoffed. "Oh, so he gets a hug and get a dirty look. How is that fair? We did the same thing."

I turned my head to get a glimpse of Paul pouting. I stood up again and glared down at Paul. "You being jealous all the time is only going to ruin this. Can't you control your emotions a little better than this?"

Paul's gaze flicked over to meet mine. He scowled as he regarded me. "I thought you were on your way to the bathroom," he reminded me.

"Yeah," I huffed. "I should be. I've got this slip 'n slide going on in my panties right now, but first I wanna make sure you're okay."

"Slip 'n slide?" Embry chuckled. "Is that what you just said?"

Paul joined him as they both burst out laughing. I growled and stomped over to the small half-bath before my rage took over and I decided to pummel them both. When I exited the bathroom, I looked up to find Paul leaning against the opposite wall. "Ready to go?"

I stepped close to him, pressing my body against his. "Be honest with me, Paul. Can you really handle this?"

He sighed deeply and buried his fingers in my hair. "I want to try...for you. I know you want this. And since I love you," he paused to look deeply into my eyes, "I'll do almost anything to make you happy."

"Paul…"

I didn't have a chance to finish that thought before his lips came crashing down upon mine. I held the back of his neck in my hands as his lips glided over mine. My mind wandered to his words and I wondered if the situation was reversed, could I share him with another girl? There was no fucking way.

Paul had always been careful not to flaunt his conquests in front of me, but that Halloween bonfire was the exception. He hadn't meant to, but I had seen him. After my disastrous kiss with turtle-tongue Todd, I ran off to tell Paul. I think somewhere deep down, I wanted him to know so that he would be jealous. As jealous as I was to see him take off with Felicia.

But it was a bad idea, because all I ended up seeing was Paul's bare ass as he pinned her against a tree. Her hands were all over him and my face went hot in a blind rage. I wanted to be the one pinned against him. I wanted to be the one with my hands gripping his skin. I didn't even know how long I stood there watching before the tears came and I stalked away.

My heart broke into little pieces that night.

Now I had Paul wanting me just as badly as he had wanted her that night. And more importantly, he had confessed his love for me. Somewhere in my mind, I still doubted that love. My insecurities told me it was our friendship and long history he loved, not me. But now, in the present, I could feel it. I could feel how much he wanted me.

But was that only because Embry wanted me too?

Paul pulled away quickly, holding my face in his hands. "Where did you go, Kee?" His hands pushed my hair back from my face as his eyes searched mine. I had retreated so far back into my memories and I knew that he felt that.

I gave him a small smile and shrugged. "Sometimes I still can't believe this is real. That you want me. I never thought we would get here."

He grabbed me up in a deep hug before pulling me upstairs. "Let's go. Embry is probably wondering where we are," he sighed. I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

He really doesn't want to share me.

The week went by so slowly. Each day I worried over my decision to be with them. I fretted over the impending weekend and all that it entailed. We continued to spend time together, as a threesome and sometimes just me and Paul. I tried to talk to him about how he felt but he always changed the subject. I feared that my long-anticipated week in heaven with my two favorite boys might end in disaster if Paul didn't start getting honest with me.

My nights were spent in endless dreams with multiple fingers exploring, lips kissing, tongues gliding, and hands touching me absolutely everywhere. Wednesday morning I woke up in a sweat. I was convinced I'd had a wet dream because my clit was throbbing and my heart was pounding. The only problem was that I woke up before I had actually climaxed.

I didn't even check the time before burying my fingers in my panties. I couldn't think about anything other than getting off in that moment. My middle finger circled my clit slowly as I gasped for breath. I moaned quietly as I stayed buried under the heavy blankets.

"Keegan?"

I froze. My stomach clenched in fear and shock as I heard Paul's voice from inside my room. I didn't move. I couldn't breathe. I hoped I was wrong and he wasn't really here and catching me with my hands down my pants.

"Keegan...I know you're in there," he teased as I felt the mattress dip under his weight.

I pulled the blanket down just enough to reveal my eyes. "I overslept," I sputtered. "Go ahead without me."

A wide smile spread across his face as he tugged on the blanket, trying to see more of my face. "You overslept? Or you lost track of time?"

His eyes, dark and lusty, let me know he knew exactly what I was up to. I sighed dramatically and covered my face with my free hand. "Just go, okay? I'll find my own way to school."

"I can wait for you to finish."

I shivered as my entire body erupted in tingles. I couldn't. No way could I finish getting off if he knew what I was doing. No fucking way.

I swallowed thickly and groaned. "Stop teasing me, just go."

Paul swept a few stray hairs from my face as he leaned in closer. "I'm not teasing. I want you to finish...and I wanna watch...if you'll let me."

He peeled back my fingers from my eyes and gazed down at me, his huge smile still present. "I won't touch you," he promised. "Just let me do this, please?"

"No," I whined. "It's humiliating, Paul. Just forget you heard anything."

He laughed, that warm, rich laugh I had always loved. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Keegan. It's hot. Your hot and you shouldn't go to school with all the pent up inside you. Just get off already!" he chuckled.

I smiled up at him. Damn him for being so convincing. I knew it wouldn't take me long to climax. I squeezed my eyes shut and continued to circle my clit with my middle finger. I slid my other hand inside and opened my thighs a bit more. I shuddered when I felt Paul pull the blanket back.

I knew he couldn't really see anything. I was wearing a long t-shirt and my panties were still on. But it didn't stop him from looking. I arched my back and forced my eyes open. Paul was panting as he watched me touch myself. I saw his hand drift down between his own legs, cupping himself through his jeans. Damn.

My fingers moved faster as my body started to spasm. I tried to keep my gaze locked on his as I felt myself teetering over the edge. Paul just smiled and nodded as my orgasm slammed into me. I twisted my body toward his, burying my face in his chest as my limbs continued to quake.

I withdrew my fingers and blew out quick breaths as I scooted closer to Paul's warm body. My entire body relaxed and I couldn't tear my eyes away from Paul's hand, still resting on his own arousal. "Damn, Kee. That was really intense," Paul sighed as he turned toward me and gathered me closely in his arms.

We were both lying on our sides, facing each other when Paul lifted my right hand to his face. He kept his eyes locked on mine as his tongue peeked out and he tasted my arousal on my fingers. My eyes went wide as his drifted closed and he hummed contentedly. "Sweet. Just like I imagined," he breathed.

"Paul," I blushed. "You're embarrassing me."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he sighed as he buried his face in my neck. "You taste delicious and I cannot wait for this weekend."

I smiled against his shoulder, trying to hide how anxious I am for the same thing. I don't want him to know how badly I want him. I slipped my hands under his t-shirt and let them skim up and down his back. "Your skin is so soft," I murmured quietly.

Paul's chuckled. "I could say the same thing about you."

I gasped when Paul pressed me back to lie on top of me. He urged my thighs apart and nestled between my legs. I sighed when he lifted my shirt and began pressing kisses to my stomach. "Paul…" I warned. "We shouldn't…"

"I'm just kissing you," he argued, even as he rocked his pelvis against mine.

I groaned as his erection pressed hard against my already sensitive clit. I wasn't sure how much longer I could resist him. His face popped up in front of mine and before I could utter one word, he pressed his lips to mine, consuming me in a fiery kiss.

I squirmed below him and Paul lifted himself above me, allowing me to slip my hand between us. When I began fumbling with the snap on his jeans, he nibbled my lower lip. "Keegan...what are you doing?" he mumbled against my lips.

"Something I've been wanting to do for a long time," I moaned softly.

"I…I thought we were...fuck...waiting…" he sputtered as I slid my fingers under the waistband of his boxer briefs and began to explore.

"I just want to touch you," I admitted as I reached for him.

He held his body above mine as I curled my fingers around his erection and tugged on it once. I smiled as his eyes drifted closed and he began to moan my name. I kept gliding my tightened fist back and forth over his length. His skin was so smooth and soft, but his erection was rock hard.

I loved watching his expression change as I moved my hand faster. He whimpered as his head dropped down to rest against my forehead. "I'm doing okay?" I urged. "Making you feel good?"

He swallowed thickly and nodded. "So good, Kee."

I smiled up at him as he lifted his head and arched his back a little. I brushed my thumb over the tip, surprised to find the wetness leaking there. I spread it onto my hand and pulled a little harder, a little faster until Paul was gasping for breath. "Oh...that's it," he sighed. "So fucking good," he panted as his cock pulsed in my hand and I felt him explode. His whole body seized up and his eyes rolled back for a second.

I was euphoric. I felt better than when I'd had my own climax. It was so powerful just watching him come undone that way. I kissed his forehead repeatedly when he leaned closer to me, finally collapsing on top of me. I struggled to pull my hand out between us so Paul rolled away. He pressed his head back against the pillow and gave me the deepest sigh.

"I think we're gonna miss first period," he announced breathlessly.

Suddenly, my stomach clenched at the thought of Embry sitting in history class and wondering where I was. I felt awful because this was exactly what I shouldn't be doing. Exactly what we had agreed we wouldn't do. Shit. I'm a horrible person.

I rolled away from Paul and off the bed, rushing to the bathroom. Paul hurried right after me, grabbing the door before I had a chance to shut it. He stood behind me as I washed my hands in the sink. I could feel his gaze on me in the reflection of the mirror. "Don't do this," he begged as his hands skimmed up my sides.

"Do what?" I feigned innocence. "I'm getting ready for school."

When I refused to meet his gaze, he lifted one hand to my throat, cupping it softly and tilting my head up. "You're pulling away from me, Keegan. I can feel it."

"I just feel guilty," I sighed as I reached for my toothbrush and toothpaste. "This was wrong."

"But it's not," he insisted defensively. "We made each other feel good. I'll never be able to forget what your face looked like right before you came. Thank you for sharing that with me."

I kept my gaze trained on his face as I continued to brush my teeth. He sighed before letting his hands slide around to hold me by my midsection. "You keep asking me how I feel about this threesome business and I gotta be honest...I like Embry and he's a good guy, but I don't think he loves you like I do. And maybe he's just better about hiding his jealousy or he just doesn't care, but I do. I've been thinking of you as mine for a while now. And I'm trying to play along because I want you to be happy…"

"But?" I urged after spitting out the toothpaste in my mouth.

"I'm jealous. And I don't wanna share you," he blurted out quickly. Paul's gaze dropped to my shoulder and he sighed deeply. "I always thought I'd be your first."

"You will be," I sighed. "I just wish…"

I wriggled out Paul's grasp and made my way back to my room. Paul followed closely behind, urging me to finish my thought. "You wish what, Keegan?"

I rifled through my underwear drawer as I shook my head. "I just wish I had been yours."

I gasped when Paul pulled me close to him, cradling my face in his hands. "It's almost like you are. I've never been with someone I loved. This is all new to me. And I know I've hurt you with some of the stupid shit I've done, but I've tried to make it up to you."

I pulled his hands down from my face and held them in mine. "I saw you, you know? That time at the bonfire...with Felicia. I saw you with her. You had her up against a tree."

Paul sighed and squeezed his eyes closed. "I wanted to be her," I continued. "I was so jealous. I went home and bawled my eyes out. Between stuff like that and how you've interfered in my love life, I guess I just don't trust you. I've seen how you toss girls aside once you've slept with them. I want you but I need Embry too. He's my safety net. God, that sounds so shitty, but I guess that's what I'm doing."

Paul nodded and sucked in a deep breath. "If you wanna punish me, it's working. Because you're my girl, Keegan. It's so difficult seeing you kiss him. I don't know if I'll survive what we have planned for the weekend."

I shrugged. "So why don't you walk away? Let me be with Embry and you won't be tortured by anything you see us do."

Paul blinked quickly. "That's what you really want? Me out of the equation? Really?" he demanded defensively.

I lowered my head, pressing my forehead to his chest. "No. I know it's selfish but i want you too." I wrapped my hands around to his back and held his body against mine. Paul sighed before pressing his lips to the top of my head.

"I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily," he admitted, his breath warm in my hair.

"I've got some clean boxers for you," I announced after we stood holding each other for a while.

Paul laughed as he gave me one more squeeze. "I left my boxers here?"

I nodded quickly and pulled a plaid pair from the back of my dresser drawer. I twirled them around on my index finger as Paul grimaced. "Wow, those are ugly. No wonder I never looked for them."

I laughed when he snatched them from me and inspected them closely. "I really can't remember why I ever wore boxers."

I glanced down below his waist, noticing his jeans were still unsnapped and unzipped. His black boxer briefs could be seen, as well as the large wet spot his climax had left behind. "I like the boxer briefs better. Too bad you got this pair all wet," I teased as my fingers skimmed over his abs.

Paul gripped my wrist as my fingers tiptoed closer to his waistband. "Don't even think about it. I'm ready to go again."

I couldn't suppress the smile creeping across my face. Having Paul hard and ready for me, made wet all over again. Paul slid his hand behind my head and pulled me close. I kissed him passionately, wanting him to feel how much I wanted him too.

"We...need to go," I mumbled against his mouth. "We are already so late."

"Yeah," he agreed, licking his lips. "So late that we should just stay home and play hooky."

I hummed as I considered it. A day in bed with Paul sounded so good, but I knew better. "We can't," I whimpered as Paul reached up to play with my hair. "Let's just get ready and go."

"Shower?" he suggested, his lusty gaze conveyed his sinful thoughts.

"No," I argued as I swatted him playfully. "We are _not _doing that." I pushed him toward the bathroom. "You've got ten minutes to wash up and then we're leaving."

"So bossy," he teased before pressing his mouth to mine. "I love it."

_And I love you._

...

A/N: thanks for reading and sticking with this! I appreciate your thoughts about the way the story is going. Thanks!


	13. 13 - About What I Need

**13 - About What I Need**

"What?"

Paul laughed nervously when I caught him staring at me. We showed up to school late, of course. I watched as Paul flirted with the young, new secretary from the attendance office. He gave her some lame ass story about why we arrived late, but somehow she bought it and gave us passes so we wouldn't have to serve lunch detention.

On the one hand, I was impressed with his charming ways, but I was also a little disgusted too because I imagined him using his smarmy ways to get girls into bed. It seemed as though no one could resist Paul Lahote. And I was the worst one.

I gave Paul a playful shove as I waited for his answer. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

Paul smirked and pulled me close. "You're still glowing," he breathed into my hair. "And I can't stop thinking about this morning."

"Paul…" I sighed, pulling back to see his face. "We're at school. You need to calm down."

He chuckled lightly. "Keegan. There's no one around. The halls are empty and...I don't even care anyway." I gasped when he held the sides of my neck and used his thumbs to tilt my head up. When he pressed his lips to mine, I melted against him, feeling tingles when his tongue touched mine.

In that moment, I felt like everything I had ever wanted had come true. Paul wanted me. Me! I thought this day would never come. And as perfect as it should have been, there was still something, rather someone, nagging at me. Embry.

I knew he would be hurt by this, by me and somehow I didn't stop it. Heart clenching fear sent me hurdling back to reality. I broke off the kiss abruptly, shoving him against his locker a little harder than I had intended. His eyes snapped open and his mouth turned up in a playful smirk. "Are we doing this again? Fighting for dominance? Because you know how much I like it…"

Paul's voice trailed off as he swiftly lifted me into his arms, swung around, and pressed me against the same locker I had shoved him into. "Paul…" I weakly protested before he tried to kiss me again. "Wait."

I sighed as Paul held his mouth just above mine. "There's nobody here, Keegan. Just enjoy it."

I held his face in my hands and stopped him from kissing me again. "I have to ask you something."

Paul growled lowly, maintaining our position at the lockers, his hands gripping my ass and my legs wrapped around his waist. I squirmed when his mouth lowered to my neck and I felt his open mouth kisses leaving a blazing trail behind. "What's your question?" he mumbled between licks.

"I uhh…"I paused to swallow, suddenly foggy headed with his lips on my skin. "I wanted to know if you were gonna tell Embry why we were late."

Paul froze. I could feel him tense up under me. He released me slowly, placing me back on the floor, but still towering over me. He pressed one more small kiss to my lips and mumbled against my mouth. "I won't do that."

He leaned back a little and I watched as his eyes dragged over me. "But I should," he smirked. "I could watch you squirm while Embry gets pissed at you."

"Me?" I scoffed, noticing how his body was still pressed against mine and how his arousal had yet to subside. "Don't you think he'd be mad at you too? Maybe he'd kick your ass for taking advantage of me."

Paul looked shocked. He backed away, scoffing and shaking his head. "What makes you think Embry Call could ever kick my ass? For one. For two...he would _definitely _be more pissed at you. And for three…" he paused to grab hold of my hair, tugging gently and forcing my head to fall to one side. Paul pressed his lips against my ear and whispered, "I didn't take advantage of shit. You wanted me...just as much as I wanted you. Don't deny it, Kee."

His breath on my ear caused me to shiver involuntarily. And I was pissed because he was right. I wanted him. I participated because I couldn't deny how badly I wanted to come...and how much I wanted him to watch.

I didn't have time to come up with a snappy comeback because all the first period classes let out and the hall flooded with students. Embry approached us, taking note of Paul's hand still in my hair and how we were locked in an intense state.

"You guys missed first period. Is everything okay?" Embry asked cautiously, glancing between us. "Did something happen?"

My heart pounded as I waited for Paul to respond. A playful smirk started to form on his lips before he finally said, "Keegan overslept. She was a real pain when I tried to rush her so...we just got here late."

Kinda true, but he left out most of the story. Thank goodness. Embry looked to me for confirmation, as if he didn't believe Paul and Paul noticed. I sighed when Paul backed away from me completely and opened his locker. Embry reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers. "Are you two fighting?" Embry inquired softly, searching my eyes for the truth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Paul demanded angrily as he slammed his locker closed.

Embry looked confused and hurt. He had to know we were hiding something. Embry ain't no dummy. "I made us late. That's all. I'm sorry, Paul. I told you to leave me behind."

That was all true, but it still stung keeping Embry in the dark like this. Paul sighed deeply as he glanced between us. "I should get to class," he mumbled before sliding his hand behind my head and kissing my cheek softly.

Embry never let go of my hand as he walked me to my next class. He didn't have time to question me any further because we arrived at my classroom door and he left me to hurry off to his own.

The morning dragged by with thoughts of Paul and Embry nagging at my brain. I wandered into the lunchroom and found my two suitors already seated at our usual table. I didn't notice the girl sitting across from Paul until I was standing beside Embry. Cassie Blunk. Ugh.

I tried not to sneer when I saw her holding Paul's hand. Evidently she fancied herself a palm reader and was providing entertainment for my boys. I knew they weren't really mine. We had all agreed to only sleep with each other during our arrangement, but my jealousy was bubbling to the surface as I watched her trace the faint lines on his palms.

I sighed deeply and stalked away, only to have Paul call my name. "Where are you going?" he asked, smirking a little as I imagined he was probably enjoying my envious glare.

"I'm hungry," I declared. "Forgot to pack my lunch this morning."

I bit back a smile and wondered if Paul was doing the same when I mentioned this morning. "Can you get me some pizza?" he asked adorably and I rolled my eyes in response.

"Your legs aren't broken," I teased, happy to have taken his attention away from Cassie. He rose from the table and approached me, my heart sped up at the sight of him.

"Please?" he pleaded, slipping some money into my hand. "You want some, Embry?"

"I haven't agreed to get you anything," I reminded him playfully. I sighed when Paul ran his fingers through my hair, pausing to stroke one of my auburn curls.

"I'd take a slice of pepperoni...if that's okay," Embry added as Cassie took his hand and began running her fingers over the lines she found there.

"Whatever," I shrugged, just eager to get away from them.

Paul pulled on my elbow and shot me a disarming smile. "I want…" he began.

"I know what you want," I replied sassily, realizing how flirty I sounded once the words tumbled out of my mouth.

"I know you do," Paul growled softly, narrowing his gaze and tossing me a flirty smirk. I glanced at Embry, thankful he was too involved with Carrie's palm reading to notice our banter.

I rolled my eyes at Paul for the tenth time today and sauntered over to the lunch line, glancing back to observe Paul watching me. I liked it. Having Paul's attention made me feel good. As I stood there, waiting, my mind wandered away to the weekend. Maybe Embry shouldn't come? The more I thought about the possibility of hurting Embry, the more I wanted to call this whole thing off.

For some reason I didn't worry about Paul's heart nearly as much as I should. I guess I assumed that if we crashed and burned, he would move onto the next thing. Like Cassie Blunk. It bothered me to think about her with Paul. My jealousy was as bad as his.

"Are you gonna move up or what?"

I swung around to confront the rude ass who just touched my back and spoke into my ear. "What the…" I began before focusing on the offender.

"Hey, Keegan."

"Hi, Kyle," I replied sheepishly.

"Sorry if I scared you," he retorted happily. "I'm just really hungry."

We both laughed and moved along the line together. "Sorry, I was just distracted," I explained.

"Were you daydreaming about your boyfriend?" he teased.

"Boyfriend?" I echoed absently. I don't have a boyfriend.

"Yeah," he chucked, stroking his chin. "You're going out with Embry, right? I saw you hugged up with him at Trent's party. That was you, right?"

"Yeah," I sighed, forcing a smile. "That was me." I turned back around to move up in line. I felt Kyle's hand on my arm, so

I glanced over my shoulder to see him smiling down at me.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kyle inquired with a furrowed brow.

I never got a chance to respond because I tumbled into Kyle's arms when a couple guys pushed past us in line and I lost my balance. Kyle hollered at them, but they were already shoving their way to the cash register. "Jerks!" I called out.

Kyle laughed at me and I huffed indignantly. "What?"

"You sound like a kitten trying to roar, Keegan! You're not intimidating at all," he chided as he helped me right myself.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Paul's voice boomed from behind us. Paul glanced between us, noticing Kyle's hand on my shoulder and my hand gripping his forearm in an attempt to stand up straight. "Paul. You okay?" Kyle asked, seeing how upset he was.

Paul stepped closer to me, taking my hand off of Kyle and placing it in his. "I'd be better if you'd keep your hands off my girl."

My stomach erupted in butterflies as Paul referred to me as 'his girl.' Kyle's gaze dropped to our joined hands and I stepped between them when it seemed that Paul wasn't backing down. "Why were you manhandling Keegan?"

"He wasn't," I quickly interjected, turning to face Paul and trying to get him to focus on me. "Somebody pushed me and Kyle kept me from falling. That's all it was."

Kyle just laughed and slapped Paul on the back. "Just chill, man. I would never hurt Keegan. She's cool as fuck."

Paul's gaze snapped between Kyle and I before he finally nodded and apologized. "Sorry, man. I'm just really protective of her."

Kyle grinned. "Everybody knows that, Lahote. But maybe you should let Embry take care of her now."

"Embry?" Paul scoffed. "Why would I do that?"

"Because...he's her boyfriend." When Paul did nothing but scowl at the tall senior, he added, "Isn't he? I mean...Keegan just told me he was."

Paul sneered and yanked his hand from mine. He faced me and growled, "I guess he is."

"Paul…" I cringed as he stalked away from me. "Wait!"

"Sorry," Kyle smirked. "I guess he didn't get the memo."

I rolled my eyes at Kyle and shoved him aside. "You're a dick."

I could still hear Kyle laughing when I raced past Embry. "Keegan! What happened?"

I paused to shove Paul's money into his hand. "Paul's mad. I'll be back. Just go get your pizza."

Embry looked furious at my brush off, but I didn't have time to worry about Embry. Paul needed me. And Paul had been there for me more times than I could count. He was so tough and rarely ever broke down that it was unusual for him to need me like this. But it was my inability to tell Kyle the truth that had Paul running scared. It was all my fault.

"Paul…" I sighed breathlessly when I found him facing the side of our brick school, his flattened palms pressed against it while his head hung down.

"Leave me alone."

I approached him slowly, knowing Paul liked space when he was angry and my meddling could send him spiraling. "I'm so sorry."

His head whipped to the side, sending me a harsh glare. "I said go, Keegan. I don't need you here."

His mouth was pressed into a thin line. His brow was furrowed as deep as it could go. I longed for one of his smiles or even a devilish smirk. Anything would be better than the pained look on his face. "I didn't say he was my boyfriend. I just…"

"Didn't correct him when he assumed he was?"

I nodded and sighed, turning to allow my back to rest against the wall Paul was facing. "I'm just not ready for everyone to know what we're doing."

"Shouldn't that tell you this is wrong?"

I hung my head and blinked back tears. "I never wanted to hurt you, Paul. Never. I don't know how this got so out of control."

"It's because you got greedy, Keegan. You want it all and you don't give a fuck who gets hurt in the process," Paul spat as he turned and leaned with his shoulder against the wall. "And you're not like that, Kee. You care about people. And I thought you cared about me." He paused when I turned my body to mirror his. "At least you used to care."

"Paul," I reached for his face, but he pulled away from me. "I do care. I'll always care about you. I don't wanna do this if it hurts you this much. It's not worth it."

Paul scoffed. "Do what you want. That's what I plan on doing."

I grabbed his arm when he pushed past me. "That is what I want. To stop hurting you and call this off. We can all just go back to being…"

"Friends?" he gasped incredulously. "I can't. I won't. I don't have to settle for less now that I've had a taste of what I want."

"Then what do you want?" I pleaded, calling to the back of his head as he stalked off again.

He sighed deeply and stood there on the sidewalk until I walked around to face him. He raised his head and sneered at me. "I wanna be with someone who's proud to say they're with me. I want someone who's all mine and I don't have to share. I want…"

"I want those things, too. I wanted all that with you before you hurt me. I just don't think I'm that girl anymore, Paul."

Paul squeezed his eyes shut, lifting his hands to cradle my face. He pressed his forehead to mine and mumbled, "I hope you and Embry will be happy together."

I stood there in that same spot for I don't know how long. Embry appeared and dragged me back to my afternoon classes. Paul skipped art class at the end of the day and he didn't drive me home. I felt sick. I screwed this whole thing up and I didn't know how to make it right again.

I loved Paul. I wanted Paul. But I was too stupid to admit it.

~•~•~•~•~•~

I saw Paul in the halls on Thursday, but he wouldn't talk to me. Embry was keeping his distance too. He felt like something was wrong between us, but I wasn't sharing. It was obvious Embry didn't trust me. Why should he?

"Are you ready to go?"

I looked up to find my mother in my doorway, a bag slung over her shoulder and a floppy hat on her head. "You're not even packed," she whined, noticing my empty duffle bag and luggage.

"I'm not going," I declared as I yanked my blanket back over my head. "I'm sick," I lied.

"Keegan, stop hiding," my mom demanded as I felt her sit on my bed. "Paul already told us you had a fight."

I flipped the blanket back to reveal my face. "He did?"

"He said he upset you and he assumed you wouldn't want to go," she explained as she smoothed down my bed head.

"I'm sure he doesn't want me to go," I pouted. "And I'm not mad at him, he's just…"

"Jealous of Embry?" she supplied. I sighed and nodded before telling her some of what was going on. Embry had been to our house for dinner once or twice and while my mom thought he was a sweet boy, she was definitely #teamPaul all the way.

"He hurt me, Mom. He made all the guys stay away from me and kept me from ever having any dates. Am I just supposed to forget that?"

"But Paul loves you," she beamed. "You two would be so good together."

"Until he loses interest."

"The same thing could happen with Embry or any other boy you meet. Don't let fear keep you from getting what you want, Keegan."

My mom finally convinced me to stop feeling sorry for myself and get ready before the Lahotes showed up to drive us to the cabin. I hurriedly showered and packed, finishing just in time to hear their Suburban pull up and honk.

"Coming!" I shouted as I trudged down the stairs with my bags in tow. I nearly tumbled down the porch steps with my arms loaded down before Embry stepped up and took most of what I was carrying.

I threw him a grateful smile as he packed my things into the back and walked around to meet me by the passenger door. "I wasn't sure if you were going to make it," I told Embry when he leaned against the door with his arms crossed.

He shrugged non-nonchalantly. "A vacation is a vacation...regardless of the company."

Ouch.

My face fell and I couldn't hide my disappointment. I'd be lucky if Embry even still wanted to be my friend after all this. "I know I haven't been very open about what's going on with me and Paul, but maybe we can talk. I'd really like it if we could," I offered weakly.

Embry sighed deeply and scowled. "Maybe."

I shrugged and reached for the door handle, only to have Embry pull it open for me. I climbed inside, laughing because I needed his help to get my short self into the vehicle. But my happiness was short lived when I peered into the back seat and saw Paul.

And he wasn't alone.

...

A/N: sorry for the evil cliffhanger! Tell me what you want to see happen next!


	14. 14 - About Her

**14 - About Her**

"Sorry."

I wasn't sure what Paul was sorry for because it could be any number of things. Was he sorry that the four of us were crammed into the backseat of his parents' Suburban? Was he sorry that his thigh kept brushing mine? Was he sorry that he had elbowed me twice in the tit while trying to get comfortable?

No. I'm sure he was sorry for bringing this girl along on our annual spring break getaway. He told me her name was Ava. Ugh. Don't care. He looked sorry enough but how can he really apologize for bringing a date? And how could I just understand how he could get over me so easily?

I rolled my neck to the left and tried to work out the kink that had formed from trying to sleep sitting up. Embry was dozing beside me, his face hidden in his hoodie. Ava was asleep next to Paul and I envied how she looked pretty even when she slept.

I jumped when I felt Paul's hand on my ass. "What the hell?" I whisper-shouted.

Paul leaned toward me and I heard his seat belt unclick. "I need more room than this."

Before I could say anything else, Paul pulled me across his lap and spread his legs wide, taking up the space I had been sitting in. "That's better," he sighed as he tightened his arm around my waist.

"I don't wanna sit here," I groused quietly as I squirmed in his arms.

Paul groaned softly before burying his nose in my neck. "Please...for the love of God… stop squirming."

I turned and saw how Paul was squeezing his eyes shut as I tried to get comfortable. I held back a chuckle when I heard his breathing speed up. He was impossibly hard and pressing into my ass. I slid my arm around his shoulders and sighed, "What would your new girlfriend say if she knew you were getting a boner because of me?"

"Boner?" Paul echoed and then laughed.

"Why is that funny?" I scowled.

He brushed his lips across my bare shoulder and laughed again. "Just sounds funny coming from you."

"What would you prefer I call it? Tiny? Mini-Paul? Shorty? Junior?"

Paul sighed. "First of all, it's _he _not _it._ And you know there is nothing _mini _about him." He emphasized his point by shifting his hips up to press _him _further into my ass.

I scoffed. "He's not that big."

Paul pressed his lips to my ear and growled. "He was more than a handful for you."

I tried not to shiver when I thought about how I had gripped him in my hand the other morning and made him come. "You're average...at best," I lied.

He chuckled quietly. "How would you even know? How many dicks have you ever held, Keegan?"

I glanced at Embry for a moment and then noticed how Paul's jaw tensed. "You didn't," he challenged. "No way."

"Maybe I did," I teased.

"You're lying," he mumbled before letting his head fall back against the headrest.

I cracked my neck back and forth a few more times and grumbled under my breath when I couldn't get the kink out. I felt Paul's hand drift from my waist to my neck. He pulled me to his chest and I snuggled into the crook of his neck. His fingers felt like magic on my tense muscles.

I whimpered softly when he worked that knot just perfectly. His other hand slid up my thigh and he squeezed me roughly. "Feel better?" he panted.

I nodded and moaned into his neck. "Feels good," I murmured. "Don't stop."

I wrapped both my arms around his neck and snuggled deeper into his embrace. "Quiet," he urged when I began panting. "You need to behave," he scolded.

I could feel my entire body melting against Paul's. He had me so relaxed that I struggled to stay awake in his arms. "Go to sleep," he yawned.

….

I opened my eyes to find Paul smiling down at me. My head was in his lap, his fingers were twirling in my hair, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looking around. "Where is everybody?" I was sprawled out across the seat and we were alone.

Paul sighed and pointed to the building we were parked in front of. "Gas station. They all went in for snacks."

"Oh," I glanced back at him, suddenly aware of how close we were. "Why didn't you go?"

He shrugged and looked as though he was trying to bite back a smile. "I just didn't want you to wake up alone," he admitted softly.

When he reached for my face, I leaned into his touch. Then I remembered that I was angry with him. "What happened to your girlfriend?" I snipped.

Paul attempted to curl his fingers around the back of my neck to pull me closer, but I jerked away. "Nevermind. I forgot I don't care," I informed him before sliding out of my seat and dashing out the door.

I didn't make it to the gas station door before I felt Paul's hand on my arm. "Keegan, wait."

I pulled my arm from his grasp and sighed. "Just don't, Paul. I need some distance. I don't wanna sit in your lap or watch you make goo goo eyes at Ava or try to figure out how in the hell you could…" My voice trailed off because I could feel how emotional I was getting and I wasn't about to break down in front of him.

He wrapped his thick fingers around my wrist and drew me closer to him. You know, the total opposite of me needing distance? "How I could do what? Invite someone else on our trip? Or get over you that quickly?"

"Both," I squeaked out, trying in vain to pull my hand from his but he wasn't budging.

"I didn't do either one. I'm not over you...and I didn't invite her."

"Then why…"

"Keegan?"

I glanced up at Embry, noticing the worried look on his face. Paul dropped my wrist immediately and left me to deal with Embry on my own. Embry scanned my face and sighed. "What did he do now?"

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts of Paul. "It's nothing. Just the same old shit with Paul."

"You look upset," he observed, allowing his hand to drift up to cup my jaw. I covered his hand with mine and kissed his palm.

"I'll be okay. I promise."

Embry sighed again, but he didn't push me for any more information. I playfully inspected the contents of the bag he left the store with. I approved of his snack choices and thanked him for grabbing me a Yoo-Hoo. "I just need to use the bathroom and then I'm ready to go," I informed Embry and the parents as they made their way back to the Suburban.

I found the restroom door locked when I tried to open it. I knocked impatiently only to be greeted by gruff, "Hold on!"

If this guy didn't hurry up then there was gonna be a clean up on aisle three. Seriously! When the door swung open, I was greeted by Ava. Ava? She was yanking on her shirt and smoothing down her khaki shorts.

My eyes went wide as she slid past me, only to be followed by Paul. What the fuck? His face was flushed and he was wiping sweat off his brow. My mouth gaped open when he sighed deeply. "Are you fucking serious?" I spat. "I can't believe you!"

Paul yanked me inside and shut the door. "Keegan, let me explain…"

"Just get out!" I cried, shoving him back when he attempted to hold me. "How could you be in here fucking her when you just told me two minutes ago that you weren't over me?"

Paul's mouth fell open and his eyes conveyed regret. But was that regret over being caught or something more? I wasn't about to find out. "Just get out," I demanded angrily. "I don't wanna hear anymore of your bullshit."

"Keegan, please…"

"Just go! I'm sure Ava is waiting."

Paul's shoulders slumped before he yanked the door open and left me standing there alone. Now if only I didn't have to spend the next week sleeping in the room next to his. Fuck.

By the time I got back into the Suburban, everyone was ready to go. I climbed over Paul, smacking his hand when I felt him grab my arm. "Sit by me," he growled when I climbed over Embry and took the window seat instead, forcing Paul to sit next to Embry instead of me.

Paul couldn't do anything but glare at me when I focused all my attention on Embry. I relaxed against his shoulder and was thankful that I had him to turn to when Paul had broken my heart once again.

…..

"...and this is the room I always sleep in when we stay here." I opened the door to find the bed made, the windows open and the room smelling fresh. I was thankful that the Lahotes had someone come and air out the place for our arrival. There was even a beautiful arrangement of flowers on the nightstand that I just had to smell. "Oh wow...these are beautiful."

"You like them?"

I whirled around to find Paul leaning on the doorjamb, his broad shoulders taking up most of the doorway. "I told Rosalita to get the irises because you love them so much."

I blinked quickly, struggling for words. "And what did you ask her to get Ava? Red roses?"

He chuckled and shook his head as he approached me. I glanced at Embry, who was sneering at me and then back to Paul. "She doesn't get flowers. They're only for you."

I crossed my arms over my chest and scoffed. "Well that's shitty. I guess you'll have to find another way to thank her for the gas station bathroom quickie that you two shared."

"What the fuck?" Embry gasped. "Paul?"

Paul eased closer to me, never taking his eyes off me. "You know I didn't do that." His tone was even and calm. And I felt like I could explode any minute.

"Yeah right. That's why I caught you coming out of the bathroom with her. You were a sweaty mess and she was…"

"Making a huge mistake."

My gaze snapped to the doorway again, this time Ava stood there. "No mistake, Ava. Own that shit! And you can have him...because I...fuck, I can't even look at him anymore."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, determined, now more than ever, not to let anyone see me cry. A knot formed in my stomach when she approached me, laying her hands on Paul's shoulders and whispering in his ear. "Are you sure?" Paul asked her tenderly as my mind wandered to thoughts of tossing this chick over the balcony.

She nodded quickly and I watched helplessly as Paul urged Embry to join him downstairs. "Embry…" I called as he disappeared with Paul.

"You know I was really confused about a few things when I saw you get in the car with Embry," Ava began. "I've known that you and Paul have been friends for a while now, but he always told me you two were completely platonic. It doesn't take a genius to see that's not true."

"Oh really?"

The dark haired beauty nodded and looked past me, admiring the vase of flowers behind me. "These are gorgeous. Somebody has good taste," she remarked before bending down to take a whiff.

"Is there a point to any of this?"

Ava walked back around and faced me once again. "Paul is really sexy, don't you think?" A playful grin spread across her face as she eyed me carefully. "Oh come on, Keegan. The guy is drop dead gorgeous!"

"Your point?"

She shrugged. "I've known Paul a long time. And I've never really understood his fascination with you. I woke up to find you in his arms...and that really pissed me off."

I chuckled. "Why? I mean, you got the last word in, didn't you? When you fucked him in the bathroom."

"I didn't," she argued.

"Oh I'm sorry. Was it just a blowjob? Either way, I don't care."

"Yes you do," she challenged. "You wanna kill me right now because you think I took what was yours."

"He's not mine."

"Well he could be...if you would get your head out of your ass."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't have sex with Paul," Ava ground out, her eyes narrowing as she spoke. "Or suck his dick."

"Good for you," I muttered before turning away from her.

"I tried though. I've always had a thing for Paul. And I took my shot. But he rejected me, Keegan. And you should really think about why that happened."

I whirled around to face her. "Maybe he just didn't wanna have sex in a nasty ass gas station restroom?"

She chuckled. "I wish that was all it was." I watched as Ava ran a hand through her long inky hair. "He loves you, Keegan. And I don't know why you're toying around with that Embry guy, but Paul deserves more than to be strung along. You won't find anyone better than Paul."

I blinked quickly, trying to process everything she had just said. I knew Paul loved me. He had told me he loved me too. But hearing it from her made it seem more real. I didn't want to lose Paul. And seeing him with another girl had caused me to nearly lose my mind with jealousy.

"You don't have to tell me what a good catch Paul is. He's my best friend. But I just don't know if I can trust him, Ava."

She shrugged and shook her head. "You just have to believe you're worth it. Obviously Paul does. Isn't that good enough?"

I stood there for a while after Ava left, just trying to let her words sink in. Maybe my trust issues with Paul were more about my own insecurities and not so much about the way Paul had treated me. Even when he was chasing other guys away from me, I knew it came from a good place in his heart. That overwhelming need of his to protect me.

And I loved that part of him. Shit, I loved all of him.

"Anybody home?" I asked, poking my head into Paul's room and finding both him and Embry lying on his bed.

They both raised their heads and smiled. "She must have won the catfight, Paul. Look...she doesn't have a scratch on her."

"Haha," I mocked, climbing onto the bed and settling between them. I mirrored their poses, staring up at the ceiling with my back flat on the oversized bed.

"You okay?" Paul asked softly as he rolled onto his side and faced me.

"Yeah. I didn't rip her head off like I wanted to," I teased. "And she told me what really happened. I'm sorry I didn't let you explain...or trust you wouldn't do that to me."

I turned to face Embry now, as he was also lying on his side, looking in my direction. "And I'm sorry that I've been keeping things from you. You don't deserve that, Embry. I really haven't been honest with you."

I sucked in a deep breath and told Embry what happened the other morning with Paul. Obviously I left out some of the gory details in order to spare his feelings but I absolutely let him know that we had broken our agreement by fooling around behind his back. And I also explained how I selfishly wanted to keep him around to be there for me when Paul hurt me, like I thought he did earlier today.

He didn't say a word during my speech and my stomach twisted in knots at the thought that he might not forgive me. He rolled away from me and stared at the ceiling once more. "I don't know what to say, Keegan."

"Say you forgive me? Tell me I'm not a horrible person for the things I've done?"

Embry swallowed thickly and shook his head. "I think I need some air," he choked out before scrambling off the bed and out the door.

I lunged forward, fully intending to chase him down when Paul held me back. "Let him go, Kee. You just dumped a lot of shit on him and he needs time to process."

I knew Paul was right so I allowed myself to fall back into his arms and let him hold me. After letting my mind race for a while, I finally spoke. "Thank you for not sleeping with Ava. I know I don't have the right to…"

My train of thought ended quickly when Paul pressed his lips to mine. He held my jaw gently in his oversized palm, stroking my cheek with his thumb. It had only been two days since I had kissed him, but the way I clung to him desperately made it seem like it had been much longer.

"I've been wanting to do this all day," he breathed when I pulled away. "You have no idea how much I want you."

I gasped when Paul rolled over me, his body hovering above me as he tangled a hand in my hair. "So you don't hate me any more?" I panted, my gaze focused solely on his handsome face.

"Hate?" he scoffed. "I couldn't. And I know I walked away from you the other day at school, but fuck, Keegan...you know I can't stay away from you."

I searched his eyes for any trace of doubt. All I found was love. He kissed me again, this time more hungrily, more needy. He urged my legs apart and nestled between my thighs. I groaned softly when I felt him pressing into me. My hips had a mind of their own when I began bucking them against his.

"Paul...please," I murmured between kisses. "We should stop."

Paul lifted his head and peered down at me breathlessly. "I want you, Keegan."

I held his face with both hands and kissed his lips with a featherlight touch. "We can't do anything without Embry. I can't keep hurting him like this."

Paul's jaw tensed. "Then just let him go, Keegan. Stop playing this game and tell him it's over."

I blinked quickly and obviously hesitated too long because Paul groaned loudly before hoisting himself off of me and disappearing into his bathroom. When I heard the shower water running, I sighed deeply and headed back to my own room.

I didn't mean to make Paul this mad. I didn't mean to hurt Embry with my confession. I didn't mean to make such a mess out of a trip I had been looking so forward to.

And I sure as hell didn't expect to find Embry lying on my bed.

...

A/N: okay...another cliffhanger but you gotta expect it by now, right? Lol. Please give me some feedback because I love hearing what you think!


	15. 15 - About the One

**15 - About the One**

_**Paul's POV**_

"Morning."

Keegan jumped a little when I stepped behind her. She reached for my hand and pulled me down near her face. "Look," she whispered, looking off toward the tree line behind the cabin. "There are deer...and look at the baby one!" she exclaimed quietly.

I didn't say anything, I only chuckled before pressing my nose into her hair. "What's so funny?" she accused.

I was still laughing when I walked around the table and took the seat beside her. I sipped my coffee and smiled widely at her before finally speaking. "You get like this everytime we come here."

"Like what?"

"Overly excited at the sight of wild animals. It's cute," I added quickly when she scowled at me.

We sat out on the deck, taking in the sights and sounds of nature for a while before I spoke again. "I wanted you to know about me and Ava."

"I don't need to," she interjected quickly. "It's not a big deal."

I studied the side of her face as she gripped the steaming mug in her hand and sipped it slowly. Her jaw tensed up at the mention of Ava's name and as much as I was enjoying seeing her jealous, I wanted to clear the air.

"I know you care. And I don't like you thinking I tried to bring a date on our trip. The truth is, her parents asked us to bring her. Her parents have a cabin near here and came down a few days ago. Ava is in college and when she didn't make it back in time to ride with them, her parents asked my parents to drive her down."

Keegan faced me now, still frowning. "She doesn't have a car?"

I nodded quickly. "She does. But she came home with some friends and left her car back at school." I paused, then added, "Me and her are just friends. And absolutely nothing happened in that bathroom."

She blinked quickly and then looked out toward the trees again. "I was jealous. I hate feeling like that."

I scooted my chair closer to her and grabbed her hand. "Don't you think that means something, Keegan? Because I know I can't _stand _the thought of anyone else touching you. And that's why I can't go through with what we planned to do this week."

I kept my gaze trained on her as she lifted her eyes from her lap and our hands to finally look at me. "I shouldn't have asked you to. I know how you are. This...thing would never work for you because you act like I belong to you."

I pulled on her hand, leaning forward to press our foreheads together. "You do, Keegan. You're my best friend. And I know since we first kissed, it's not the same between us, but I can't lose you. If you don't want me as a...boyfriend or anything, then at least accept me as your friend."

She sighed deeply before pulling away and looking into my eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly. When her gaze drifted to my mouth and then back to my eyes, I was sure she wanted it too. "I just don't want to hurt anyone," she sighed. "I crushed Embry last night when I told him what we had done and then you were so mad at me when…"

I cupped her chin in my hand and smiled widely at her. "I was frustrated, Kee. There's a difference. If I was mad then I wouldn't be sitting here basically begging to stay in your life. I need you, Keegan. With me...however you'll take me."

Keegan smiled back at me and leaned forward just an inch. I took that as a green light to kiss her. I pushed my hand through her hair, gripping the back of her head and pulled her mouth to mine. I gave her the softest of kisses, allowing her the option to push me away if she didn't want it.

She didn't push me away. I pulled her to stand, my lips never leaving hers. I had to hold her, touch her, feel that this was real. We hadn't solved any of our problems and I knew Embry would still be an issue for her but I didn't care. Kissing her, in that moment, felt like exactly what we both needed.

"Paul," she breathed when I pulled away, running my hands down her arms as the blanket she had wrapped around her body fell away.

I held her against me, hugging her tightly before she had a chance to regret the kiss and push me away. Fuck, she felt so right I my arms. She felt like home. I sighed when her hands snaked around my back and she fisted her fingers in my t-shirt, drawing us even closer.

"Isn't this cute?"

Keegan jerked away from me at the sound of Ava's shrill voice. Before I could start drilling her with questions, she turned and revealed that Embry was behind her.

"Look who I found?"

I glanced at Keegan, wanting to gauge her reaction to seeing them together. She seemed to be taking in their appearance, so I did too. Ava had on workout gear, biker shorts and a matching sports bra. Embry had on a backwards cap, basketball shorts and a t-shirt, all drenched with sweat.

"I'd kill for some water," Ava announced as she glanced between the three of us.

She gave me a pointed look as Embry made his way around us, moving to lean on the railing that wrapped around the deck. Ava cleared her throat and tipped her head toward the house. She obviously knew that Embry wanted to speak to Keegan alone. And that was the last thing I wanted.

I sighed deeply, knowing that being a dick to Embry wasn't the way to Keegan's heart. She had a soft spot for the kid and fuck, so did I. It would be so much easier if he was just an asshole. "Let's go see what's in the kitchen," I told Ava as I begrudgingly left Keegan alone with Embry.

I glanced at Keegan before I passed by her, smiling when she touched my forearm. I followed Ava to the kitchen before I started demanding answers. "What's going on, Ava? Are you trying to come between me and Keegan again?"

She pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and unscrewed the cap. "Damn, Paul. You're so paranoid! And you should've told me you were with Keegan and then maybe that situation in the restroom wouldn't have happened," she declared, her head bobbing with attitude.

I ran a hand over my face and through my hair before facing her again. "The situation with Keegan is touchy. I don't know where I stand with her. But seeing us coming out of the restroom together sure didn't help."

I watched as she hoisted herself up onto the counter, swinging her legs as she guzzled more water. Even I could appreciate how pretty she was. But her attitude was shit. And I hated how she always acted like she was entitled to things...like me.

"Just chill out," she demanded when she saw me watching Embry and Keegan on the deck through the kitchen window. "I talked to Embry when we ran into each other on my run this morning. I think he knows Keegan wants you. I'm pretty sure he's gonna back off now."

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing," she sighed dramatically. "He just vented to me, that's all."

I didn't trust Ava. But I knew that she had told Keegan the truth yesterday when she didn't have to. I owed her one for that. She was also keeping our secret from the past and I couldn't afford to piss her off at this point.

"My mom bought a bunch of pastries and fruit for us. Do you wanna stay for breakfast?"

Ava's expression brightened as we plated up four breakfasts and used two trays to carry them out to the deck. I felt nervous going back out there, but I couldn't leave them alone for much longer. My heart couldn't take it.

"Are you guys hungry?"

Embry was still leaning against the railing, scowling at an upset Keegan. Fuck this. I put the trays down and approached them. "What's going on?"

Keegan slumped a little. "Embry wants to go home. And I want him to stay." She glanced up at me with pleading eyes.

"You can't leave yet," I told Embry playfully even as my mind wandered to imagine how much better this week could be without him in the way. "Ava and I brought you some food."

Ava approached us now, waving a cruller in our faces and smiling widely. "You know you don't want to pass this up," she smirked, earning a little smile from Embry.

Seeing how he responded to Ava, gave me a great idea. "Stay for breakfast at least. And I have a great idea for something fun we can do later if you want," I offered hopefully.

Keegan's gaze drifted to mine and I appreciated the hopeful look in her eyes. Especially when Embry agreed to stay.

…..

"I don't know about this," Keegan whined as she stepped into the over-sized jumpsuit and tugged on the zipper. I helped get her protective goggles on, stifling a laugh when I saw how silly she looked.

Keegan scowled at me, shoving me and trying to stomp away. I swung around and captured her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and resting my chin on her shoulder. "Don't go," I laughed. "Look at Embry."

I directed her attention toward Embry and Ava. They were laughing as he helped her with her jumpsuit. He looked happy and Ava was loving the attention. "I convinced Embry to stay, like you wanted. And see, he's having fun."

Keegan huffed in a pouty way as she turned to face me. "What could he possibly see in her?"

"You're jealous?" I scoffed. "And why would you care as long as he's having fun?"

I grumbled as I stomped over to a bench and sat down. I grumbled when Keegan continued to stare at them, refusing to answer my questions. Fuck. I just want to have some fun and forget this love triangle drama for a few hours. Keegan slumped onto the bench beside me as I finished tying up my boots. I sat stiffly next to her, just wondering if there was anything I could do to get this girl to smile for me. I was about to walk away from her when she slid her hand into mine. "I'm sorry," she cooed into my ear, heating up my body in the best way.

I leaned in closer, wanting her to say more, just so I could feel her breath on my neck. "I do appreciate what you've done," she sighed, squeezing my hand as she did. "He does look happy and that's what I want."

I looked down at our hands, entwining our fingers and rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand. "And you're not jealous?"

Keegan rested her head on my shoulder and laughed. "No, I'm not. I just don't want Embry to get hurt. She's older and obviously more experienced…"

"You're afraid they'll have sex?"

Keegan whipped her head to face me and laughed nervously. "No! I mean, I don't care. He can do that...with whomever. It's none of my concern."

"Yeah, sure," I scoffed in disbelief. Keegan responded by standing with me, moving in front of me, and yanking on the front of my jumpsuit in an effort to get me down to her level. I couldn't contain my smile when she blinked up at me under her pale lashes. Her green eyes sparkled up at me and I felt invincible.

"Are you guys gonna stare at each other all day or are we gonna do this?" Ava challenged.

I glanced up to see her already armed with her paintball gun, poised to pelt us both. "Run!" I called as I dashed away from Keegan, grabbing my own gun and bounding toward the nearest place I could find shelter from Ava's assault.

Embry stayed behind to help Keegan with her gun and I tried not to feel jealous when she hugged him. I made a point to keep Keegan close to me as we decided we would team up against the other two. She did well and laughed more than I heard her do in forever.

We were crouched behind a stack of hay bales when I glanced over at her and beamed brightly. "What?" she sighed when she caught me staring. "Do I have something on my face?"

I nodded quickly, reaching over to tuck a stray hair from her ponytail behind her ear. "You're a mess. Your hair is full of paint."

"Wow, thanks!" she scoffed back, shoving me back and causing me to fall onto the pile of hay behind me. I grabbed her hand at the last second, pulling her body on top of mine. She giggled when I attacked her ribs with tickles. When she sat up and straddled me, my eyes grew wide. I groaned when she wiggled in my lap.

"You aren't playing fair," I gasped as she tried to pull my hands away.

"Fair?" Keegan challenged as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth.

My eyes were immediately drawn to her mouth and the feeling of her body on top of mine. I reached for her face, bringing her down to me, her lips only a whisper away from mine. "Keegan," I murmured, feeling the heat between us. I could see her eyes darken and her breathing speed up as the adrenaline fueled activities we had been participating in had culminated in me needing to kiss her.

"I found them!" Ava declared loudly, giving me a chance to scramble away from Keegan before Embry saw us.

A few hours later, we had eaten an early dinner at a nearby diner. I couldn't stop smiling when Keegan held my hand under the table. I nearly beat the piss out of the waiter for leering at my girl, but I settled for a body check on the way out instead. Little shit.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Ava chirped as she settled into the sofa with Embry close by.

We had all showered and changed, washing off all the paintball residue. Ava borrowed some leggings from Keegan and I was pretty sure she had one of Embry a t-shirts. I was beginning to wonder if they had showered together too.

I didn't want Ava to leave just yet. She definitely had Embry's attention and he wasn't talking about going home anymore. Plus, Keegan seemed okay with them spending time together. "Let's play a game," I suggested.

"A drinking game?" Ava offered.

I glanced at Keegan and then to Embry, they both shrugged and then nodded. I busted out the cards, the whiskey, lots of ice and Coca-Cola, and my amazing teaching skills to show these kids how to play my favorite drinking game, Circle of Death.

"You can't break the circle or you have to do a shot!"

Embry chuckled and shrugged as the formation of cards separated, forcing him to down the shot of whiskey I had placed in the center. He swiped his chin with the back of his hand and grimaced from the burn. We were all seated around the coffee table, me and Keegan on one side and Embry and Ava on the other.

Ava drew a card and made a face. "What does 6 mean?"

I laughed. "6 is dicks. That means guys drink."

Embry and I bumped our solo cups together before taking a long pull of the whiskey and coke concoction. "You're turn, Keegan."

She smiled and sighed, reaching under the table to squeeze my thigh before drawing a card. Yeah, she's tipsy. I'd been making her drinks, making sure to go easy on the whiskey. I didn't want her to get sick or pass out, but I mind her friskiness when she got tipsy.

She drew a 3, causing us all to hold up 3 fingers and begin a round of 'never ever' that would end when no one had any fingers left.

"Never ever have I ever...had sex," she admitted shyly, forcing us all to put down a finger.

"Never ever have I ever...had long hair," I chuckled. All three put a finger down. "I need to see pictures of your long hair Embry," I teased.

He flipped me off and added, "Never ever have I ever...passed 10th grade...yet." He smirked when Ava went out and left Keegan and I with one finger.

Keegan nibbled on her nail and considered how to get Embry and I out with her next declaration. "Never ever have I ever...had a dick."

Embry and I drank while Ava cheered Keegan on with a high five. I pulled a 4 and the girls drank. Embry pulled the Ace again and grumbled about doing another shot.

"You could always take a dare instead," Ava suggested slyly.

Embry shrugged and nodded. "Okay...like what?"

Ava licked her lips and hummed. "I dare you to moon us."

"Oh fuck no!" Embry choked out. "I'm not showing anyone my ass!"

Ava swirled her finger around in her drink and then sucked it while zeroing in on Embry's shocked face. "Why not? I bet it's cute…"

Embry swallowed thickly and sucked in a deep breath. "I'll pass. Anyone else?"

"Kiss Ava."

Everyone stared at me before Embry started to chuckle nervously. "I don't know…"

"I wouldn't mind it," Ava sighed, a little smile gracing her face as she looked Embry over.

I chanced a glance at Keegan. She looked a little nervous, but not jealous. Good sign. Get her, Embry!

I rolled my eyes when Embry hesitated, forcing Ava to lean over, fist his t-shirt, and press her mouth to his. "Damn," I hissed when he went all in and held her face in his hands.

Keegan glanced away nervously, so I tugged on her hand, motioned for her to get her drink, and nodded toward the stairs. "Let's go, Kee."

Embry raised his head and called out to us, but Ava wasn't having it. She pulled him into another kiss and we were gone.

"Can we go outside?" Keegan asked sweetly as we passed through the living room. Shit. I really wanted to get her up to my room.

"It's probably too cold," I warned.

Keegan leaned into me, pressing her body into mine. "You can keep me warm."

Oh hell yeah I can.

I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and trotted off behind Keegan to sit on the deck. I stretched out on a chaise lounge and pulled Keegan down to lie face down on my chest with her legs between mine. I covered us both with the blanket and pressed kisses into her hair when she rested her head on my chest.

"You're so warm," she murmured dreamily.

"Alcohol makes me warm," I sighed as I pulled her tighter into my arms. I loved how our bodies fit so perfectly together.

Keegan giggled a little and then looked up at me. "I'm too embarrassed to tell you what alcohol does to me."

I cupped her jaw in my hand and smiled. "Well now you have to tell me."

She tilted her head and bit down on her lower lip. "I can't," she protested.

"Please?" I hit her with the puppy dog eyes and she relented.

"I...I'm gonna whisper it to you."

I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut when she leaned forward and spoke softly into my ear. "It makes me tingle…" she paused and then added breathily, "down there."

I watched as she pulled away and looked down innocently. I smiled brightly at her and chuckled. "It makes your pussy tingle?"

"Paul!" She scolded quietly. "Don't say that!"

"Sorry," I offered sheepishly. I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't stop running my hands all over her body and drawing her closer to me. "It makes you tingle between your legs?" I corrected. "So what's the problem?"

She blinked up at me and shrugged. "Nothing I guess...except...it reminds me of the other morning in my room...with you."

I hummed quietly when I remembered the way her hand felt wrapped around my cock. Suddenly I was harder than ever and wishing we were in my bed and not outside. "Are you cold? Should we go in?" I suggested gently.

Keegan snuggled closer and buried her face in my neck. "I like it out here. You feel so good."

I ran my hands up and down her back and up under her shirt, spurred on by her soft whimpers. "Paul," she sighed.

"Yeah?" I breathed, trying to control my sped up heart beat.

She lifted her head and rested her chin on my chest. "Do you think I'll be any good at sex?"

I could see the worry and doubt in her eyes when she made her confession. In that moment, I hated that I didn't wait for her. My experience was making her question herself and it wasn't fair. "I think you'll be amazing," I gushed before giving her a sweet kiss.

"I don't know…"

"Hey," I made sure she could see my eyes and then I continued. "You gave me the best hand job the other morning. I swear."

"Paul," she whined. "You're embarrassing me…"

I laughed and held her close to me. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. It'll be better than anything I've ever done before because it's you, Keegan. You're special. And...I love you. That's something I've never experienced with anyone."

I kissed the top of her head and waited for a reply, but all I heard was her soft snores as she slept on my chest. I sighed deeply knowing this wasn't the right time anyway. I wanted Keegan to be totally sober and feel everything with no regrets.

"I love you," I whispered softly before falling asleep myself.

...

A/N: what did you think of Paul's POV? Thanks for reading and taking time to leave a review! It means so much!


	16. 16 - About the Past

**16 - About the Past**

_**Paul's POV - **_

I stretched and squirmed as I awoke, feeling stiff from sleeping so soundly all night. The warm sun brought me around and a deep inhale reminded me just where I had fallen asleep. The tart scent of apples filled my nose as my face was buried in Keegan's hair.

Keegan.

Fuck, I longed to be buried somewhere else. I slid my hand over her hip and squeezed out of frustration. I didn't regret what we _didn't _do last night. But shit, it was so hard to be good. I smiled when I heard Keegan murmuring in her sleep. "Oh, Paul," she sighed deeply.

My head swelled with pride. Well...they both did. I held my breath when she began to rub against me like a cat. Fuck, I thought I heard her purring, too. I had both arms wrapped around her tightly, completely aware of how much I had missed sleeping next to her.

We had spent almost every weekend having sleepovers at each other's houses for as long as I could remember. I enjoyed her company. There was no denying it. After that day at the beach, I tried so hard to just see her as my friend, not the sexy redhead I couldn't stop dreaming about.

But more often than not, I found myself interfering with her love life and feeling justified in doing so. I had been her protector for so long that it seemed to make sense that I should shield her from guys at our school who could take advantage of someone as sweet as my Keegan.

And that's when I knew I had fucked up. Because Keegan was my friend, not mine. And even after I started thinking of her as _my girl,_ I still didn't act on it. My friends could tell I was falling for her. From the moment she showed up at school last year with her new look, my protective instincts kicked into overdrive.

I was a dick to anyone and everyone that took even the slightest interest in her. I just wish I had acted on my burgeoning feelings instead of ignoring them. Unfortunately trying to stay 'just friends' with Keegan back then seemed to keep getting harder for me. Literally.

So the next thing I did to avoid her was to lose my virginity to someone who didn't mean shit to me. I regret it. I regret them all. Especially now that I've gotten a chance to have something real with Keegan. I never want her to feel inferior to any of my previous sexual experiences.

But the experience I'm regretting the most right now? Having messed around with Ava. She's been dropping hints and I'm worried she'll tell Keegan and that would be a disaster.

I untangled myself from the deep snuggle I had going on with Keegan. Our parents were due back sometime today and I'm sure they would be cool, but I didn't want them to find us wrapped around each other. I gave Keegan a lingering kiss to her temple, huffing her hair like an addict. I shook my head at the memories of waking up like this with her for the last six months.

But honestly it was all her fault.

I made my way to the kitchen and let the memories flood back to me. The first time I heard Keegan call out to me in her sleep, I didn't know what to think. I flipped my lamp on and watched her for a while. I tried not to be affected by her whimpers and sighs but fuck, I was in shock.

It was pretty obvious she was having a sexy dream, one that I was definitely the star of. For some reason, I didn't hold her or kiss her or make any other type of move. I just nudged her awake and I immediately regretted it. She smiled up at me when her eyes fluttered open and she reached up to touch my face. But, like an idiot, I told her no. I was still so set on being friends, even though it was clear that we both craved more.

Keegan escaped to the bathroom, so embarrassed when she realized that I had heard her. After that, she didn't talk to me for a week! I wish we had discussed it then. Instead, I teased her about every chance I got.

Now I was grinning from ear to ear at the thought that we might actually be on the same page for once. I just had to confess to what happened with Ava so we could move on.

"Good morning!"

"Fuck!" I jumped as I stood in front of the fridge in search of juice. "Why are you up so early?" I demanded.

Ava laughed as she swiped a banana from the fruit bowl and hoisted herself up onto the island. "Why the hell are you so jumpy?"

"I didn't think anyone else was up yet."

Ava peeled the banana and watched as I assembled a tasty breakfast for two. "I'm surprised you're not still in bed. Where's Keegan?"

I smiled at the mention of her name. "Still sleeping."

Ava wrapped her lips around her breakfast and pushed it as far down her throat as she could manage. "You're disgusting," I sputtered as I tended to the coffee maker.

Ava smirked at me before biting down on her banana. "Embry doesn't think it's disgusting," she teased, eyebrows wagging for the full effect.

"Didn't need to know that…"

"Oh, come on! You know you're dying to find out what we did," she baited.

I shrugged. "You're dreaming if you think I actually give a shit."

"I know you do," she countered.

"Nope."

Ava jumped down and sighed deeply. "Fine. But you should know that our parents will be back from the boat this afternoon and they want us all to go to dinner tonight."

I put our breakfast plates on a tray and scowled at her. "So?"

Ava approached me now, her finger trailing down the center of my chest and coming to rest on the waistband of my pajama pants. "So if you play nice with me, then I'll continue to play nice with Embry, and he'll stay out of your way with Keegan."

I gripped her wrist and held it away from me. "Or else what?"

"That's completely up to you…" she began before pushing up on her toes to get her face closer to mine.

"Not interested." I jerked my head back and turned my nose up at Ava. I lifted the tray and maneuvered around her before she called out to me.

"Of course, if you expect me to keep your secret then I suggest you play along."

I set the tray on the counter and whirled around to face her. "And I suggest you fuck all the way off."

Ava simply chuckled at me, only angering me further. "Your choice."

When she tried to push past me, I blocked her path. "You're not doing this, Ava. I'll tell her myself when I'm ready, but there is no way I'll ever touch you again."

"Better do it quick," she warned with her lip curling into a sneer. "I won't wait much longer."

"Why are you even fucking with me when you have Embry…" I trailed off when suddenly I realized something. "He turned you down, didn't he?"

Ava sighed deeply and tried to move past me again. "Oh fuck off, Paul."

I laughed as she retreated. "Go home, Ava. Just get the fuck out of my house," I called out to her before she slammed the front door.

Fuck.

When I slipped back out onto the deck, I was disappointed to see Embry and Keegan talking. My plan to wake Keegan up in my own sexy way, was decimated when I walked over to them and saw Embry holding her hand. He glanced up at me with a scowl and my stomach sank.

Did he know? Would he tell Keegan? Maybe she already knew.

Keegan whipped her head around and made eye contact with me. I didn't even have time to give it another thought before Keegan launched herself into my arms. I sighed deeply in relief, realizing I still had time to confess.

And deal with the fallout.

I gave Keegan the biggest squeeze, lifting her right off the ground. When I lowered my head for a kiss, she turned away. "Paul, I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

"I don't even care," I murmured before giving her a sweet kiss that ended too quickly.

When I pulled away, Keegan peered up at me with pink cheeks, a sleepy look in her eyes and her red hair wildly framing her sweet face. "You look beautiful," I gushed like an idiot.

"Paul," she blushed. "I'm a mess."

And with that she excused herself to the bathroom, leaving me with a pissed off Embry. "What's your deal?" I demanded once Keegan was out of earshot.

Embry stood, stretched and groaned. I sat down at the table to start eating, waving my hand over the food, offering him some. He turned up his nose. "No thanks."

"Hangover?"

"Not even that. Just…" he looked toward the glass slider and sighed. "A fuck ton of regret."

I nodded and wondered what had really happened downstairs after we left, but I wasn't concerned enough to ask. "I guess I shouldn't have left you alone with Ava, huh?" I asked sheepishly.

He sucked in a deep breath and shrugged. "I just...should have been smarter."

I nodded as I chewed my toast and considered my response. "I think we are all guilty of that. Me included," I added, remembering all the things I wish I had done differently concerning Keegan.

The corner of Embry's mouth turned up a little as he regarded me. "Yeah, you should've been smarter about Ava."

Shit. He knew. It was written all over his face.

"I...don't know what you mean," I sputtered as I reached for my juice and prayed I was wrong.

Embry shook his head and sighed. "It's shitty that you don't care enough about Keegan to tell her the truth, but don't make it worse by lying about it. Especially when I already know what happened."

I cursed under my breath and tossed my toast back onto the plate. "So are you gonna say something to her?"

"Hell no. That's your job."

I sneered and crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh and let me guess...you'll be waiting with open arms when I do?"

He smiled a little and I swear I wanted to punch him. "Well I suppose it all depends on how she takes it, but if she needs me… I'm there for her. No matter what."

I rose from my chair slowly, feeling the heat of my anger creeping up and setting my ears on fire. "You know what?"

We both froze when Keegan pushed the slider door open and reappeared. "What did I miss?" she beamed as I sunk back into my chair and Keegan draped herself across my lap.

Embry groaned and stretched before excusing himself to go for a run. "Is he okay?" Keegan mused as she munched on a strawberry and then offered me one.

"He's fine."

Keegan giggled when I bit into the strawberry she held out for me and then devoured her in a kiss she wouldn't soon forget.

….

All through breakfast, I tried to convince myself that telling Keegan the truth was the best thing I could do if I had any hope of a relationship with her. But she spent the whole meal in my lap. And fuck if we didn't spend every single second feeding each other, laughing, and kissing.

By the time we finally pulled ourselves apart to go get ready for the day, our parents reappeared and her mom whisked her off to go shopping. Evidently she needed something new to wear for dinner tonight.

"I want you to stay," I pouted as we stood on the porch and waited for her mom to come down.

Keegan sighed and ran her hands down my face. "What's wrong, Paul? You look like you're dying to tell me something."

I slid my arms around her waist and she glanced around nervously. I pressed my forehead to hers and sighed. "Are you scared we'll be caught?"

She shrugged and laughed. "I guess I am but…"

"But what?" I cupped her chin in my hand and pressed our bodies even closer together.

Keegan blinked quickly, her body responding to mine with a breathless sigh and a blush she couldn't hide. "I know my mom will be thrilled," she laughed with a quick roll of her eyes.

I laughed too, knowing how our mothers had plotted this relationship for years. And for the life of me, I could no longer remember why I had been so resistant. Keegan felt amazing pressed against me, completely enveloped in my arms and loving how I sprinkled kisses all over her face.

"Okay, okay, okay! My ride is here," she chuckled and squirmed away from me.

"Ride?" I echoed simply.

A horn honked and I scowled when I saw Ava and her mom pull up in their brand new Mercedes. "You're going shopping with _them?" _I groused into her ear.

Keegan shoved me playfully and called out for her mom to join them. "I'll be back," she promised before gliding down the steps to join Ava in the back seat.

"Don't worry, Paul. We won't be gone all day," her mother assured me.

I nodded absently, waving to Keegan as they drove off. I caught Ava's sinister smile and I knew it was only a matter of time before she spilled the beans.

Fuck!

I spent the rest of the afternoon anxiously awaiting her return or at the very least, a text letting me know she knew the truth. I could finally breathe again when they returned with armfuls of bags and her promise that I would _love_ what she had chosen to wear for dinner tonight.

I rushed to get ready, waiting for her to reemerge from the bathroom before approaching her in the hall. "Can we talk?"

She smiled up at me, wrapped in a towel and her dripping hair sending my thoughts straight into the gutter. "Sure, baby."

I groaned at the endearment. Shit, that's cute. "Maybe you should get dressed first?" I gulped at the sight of so much exposed wet skin.

Keegan scurried off and I waited again for her to get ready. After 20 minutes of agony, I took a chance and knocked on her bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

She ushered me in quickly, shutting her door and rushing back to the vanity table to finish her hair. I stepped behind her, brushing my lips across the nale of her neck as she pushed more bobby pins into her hair. "You look beautiful."

I laughed when she squirmed away from me, causing her robe to fall open and expose her white lace bra to me. Oh shit. I reached around to close it as we admired each other in the mirror. My fingers lingered a bit too long on her collarbone, making Keegan flutter her lashes at me teasingly.

I had to walk away from her. I couldn't continue to see her, touch her, and smell her and still make this confession. I faced the bed, wringing my hands and taking deep breaths. I can do this. I can do this.

"Can you help me?"

I turned slowly, only to be assaulted my the vision of Keegan's bare back nestled into her unzipped dress. "What happened to your bra?" I croaked.

And more importantly, how could I not notice she took it off?

"It won't work with this dress and I didn't pack a strapless," she stayed simply, oblivious to what all this skin was doing to me.

"So you're just going without it?" I made no move to zip her, obviously incapable of any rational thought.

Keegan giggled. "It's fitted. I'll be fine. Just zip me, you dork."

With shaky hands, I attempted to raise her zipper slowly. I trailed one hand down her spine, gripping the inside while the other did the zipping. I smiled widely when she visibly shivered under my touch. "Keegan…"

She spun in my arms and revealed the dress to me once I finally got her zipped. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her mouth or her eyes long enough to see the dress. "Paul…" she whined playfully when I wouldn't let go of her long enough to back up and do her big reveal.

I grabbed her hand, spinning her around a few times to appreciate every angle of the soft flowing dress that seemed to be shorter in the front than the back. Tiny little straps held it up, her breasts straining to burst out from behind the low neckline.

"Gorgeous."

Keegan stumbled toward me, collapsing against my chest in a pair of heels that should definitely be left at home. "Are you okay?"

When Keegan peered up at me, in that dress, with her hair swept off her neck and little splashes of glitter on her eyelids, I knew I couldn't tell her. I couldn't waste another second when I could be kissing her.

"Time to go!" I heard my father call from downstairs.

"Kiss me," I begged pathetically.

"We have to go," she argued weakly.

Dinner was a nightmare. I had hoped that Ava's family would opt out, but no such luck. I caught Ava making lewd gestures with breadstick when Keegan's back was turned. I knew it wasn't a warning. This was a threat. She was determined to expose me.

I had finally gotten up the nerve to beg her to come out to the terrace with me, when she jumped up first. "Where are you going?" I demanded a little too posessively.

"Bathroom," she chided. "I'll be right back."

I watched her turn and leave me standing there. And I knew this wasn't the best place to say what I needed to say, but I just couldn't take the chance. Ava was ready to bury me and I had to beat her to the punch.

Ava.

When I finally got my focus back, I realized she had left the table too. I sunk down next to Embry and whisper-shouted, "Where is she?"

"Ava?"

"Yes!"

Embry shrugged and glanced around. "Bathroom maybe? I really didn't see her leave."

My face must have given away the fear of those two in the same proximity, because Embry's look mirrored mine. When I dashed away from the table, he was hot on my heels. "You can't go in there!"

Embry yanked on my arm before I could push the women's restroom door open and go rushing in. He pulled me across the hall to lean against the wall with him, but all I wanted to do was bust that door down. "What's taking them so long?" I groaned.

"Hopefully not what you think…"

I sighed deeply, my stomach turning at the thought that maybe Ava was successfully tanking my already shaky relationship with Keegan just to gossip about something we did almost a year ago.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Ava strode out first, her face beaming in triumph.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It felt like an eternity before Keegan joined us, her head hanging low and her shoulders jumping.

She was crying.

"Keegan, I…."

Her head snapped up quickly, obviously not expecting me to be standing so close to the restroom door. "Please let me explain…"

"You knew?" she seethed, her pretty eye makeup sliding down her cheek along with her tears. "You knew she was gonna corner me and you still didn't say anything?"

When I stood there with my mouth hanging open and unable to say a single thing to defend myself, Embry stepped up. "I'm sure Paul didn't mean to…"

"You knew too?"

Embry flinched from Keegan's harsh tone and I felt sorry for him. "Don't be mad at him. This was all my fault. I should've told you the truth. I just…"

"Couldn't stop kissing me?" she offered. Keegan stepped closer and lowered her voice as her chin tilted up and she met my scared shitless gaze. "Or were you hoping you'd get down my pants first?"

"Keegan," I whimpered painfully as I reached for her face.

She batted my hands away but made no move to put any distance between us. It was killing me not to drag her outside and make her listen to reason. But that blazing mad look in her eyes let me know there was no way that would work.

I gasped when she gripped my dick through my pants and held it in a vice-like grip. With her other hand, she reached behind my head to pull me down to her eye level. "Do you have any idea how _humiliating _it was to have Ava give me tips on how to orally pleasure my own boyfriend?" She paused for an answer, but I was seeing stars. "Do you?"

"Keegan, you gotta let him go," Embry urged forcefully, tugging on her arm ever so slightly.

"Fine," she seethed, releasing me and turning to flee from me.

"Wait!" I called to her as she sped toward the exit. I limped painfully toward her with her words ringing in my ears and my dick still stinging.

She called me her boyfriend? Her boyfriend. That's how she thought of me. That was what she considered me to be before Ava opened her mouth and imploded my life.

Fuck me!

...

A/N: Paul got into some trouble on this one! Should Keegan hear him out?


	17. 17 - About the First Time

**17 - About the First Time**

"We need to talk."

I scowled up at Paul as I pulled my hand from his grasp. "Just leave me alone."

I sighed deeply and shook my head at how this night had turned out. I had been so excited to go to dinner with Paul and even though our families went, it almost seemed like a real date. But it was one that ended in disaster.

I crossed my arms over my chest and threw Embry a dirty look when he opened his mouth to speak. Traitor. He wouldn't even switch seats with me so I could get away with Paul. This was proving to be the worst car ride ever.

I scooted closer to Embry, allowing him to wrap his arm around my shoulders. Paul scoffed and muttered something under his breath. Embry glared at him and shook his head. "Don't start, Paul."

"It's bullshit and you know it. You did the same fucking thing I did, but you won't admit it."

Embry growled and pulled me closer to him. "Just drop it!" he whisper-shouted, leaning over me a little.

"Did the same thing…" I echoed. "You mean? You and Ava?"

Embry's face said it all. He looked guilty as hell and before I even realized what I was doing, I was shoving his arm off of me. We couldn't get back to the cabin fast enough.

I had barely allowed the Suburban to come to a complete stop before I scrambled over Paul and bounded toward the cabin with my high heels in hand. I ignored my mom and Paul when they called out to me. After I showered and got ready for bed, I waited for the coast to be clear before I ventured downstairs for some water.

Ever since we returned from the restaurant, I'd been thinking about what had happened. I knew I was mad at Ava and pissed that obviously Paul knew she would be telling me at some point, but he didn't tell me first. Would I have reacted any better if the story had come from him? Now I'll never know.

"I need to talk to you."

His voice cut through the darkened living room as I made my way back to the stairs. Was I ready for this? Did I need more time for the silent treatment? Should I punish him some more?

I blinked quickly as he made his way over to me. His hair was a mess, face crinkled with worry and his eyes? Those were the worst. Because I could have sworn he'd been crying. "Keegan," he breathed once he got close enough to touch me. "Can you just let me explain?"

Suddenly seeing him there, so sad and alone in the dark had my heart begging my head to just kiss him and let it all go. I didn't want him to feel pain. There were so many times I had been this hopeless. So many times I wished desperately for the chance to fix things with Paul and finally bare my soul.

Now we were right there. So close and yet here was another bullshit problem keeping us from being together. In the past few hours, I had gone from pissed off, to sad, to just not giving a shit. Now I decided, it was time for some truth. "Let's talk then."

Paul's face held a tiny flicker of hope just before he pulled on my hand and led me downstairs. I didn't question why he wanted to go down here, because this was better than our parents catching us discussing whatever this thing between us was.

I pulled my hand from his and took a seat on the couch. I absently noticed the broken circle of cards on the coffee table and thought about the last time we were down here. How had everything gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?

Paul was pacing on the other side of the table across from me. I could see how upset he was, carefully planning what to say to me. "I don't have all night," I reminded him impatiently.

He glanced at me and nodded. I watched as he took a deep breath and then finally spoke. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and Ava."

"You and Ava? Do you have any idea how much I hate that?" I spat angrily.

Paul grimaced. "Poor choice of words. There is no me and Ava."

"But there was...I mean obviously there was. But you lied to me, Paul. You said nothing happened in that gas station restroom."

"It didn't!" he sputtered. "What happened between us...it was over a year ago."

I gave him a confused look and he continued to speak. "Last year we came down for a long weekend but your family didn't come. Your dad had to have his gallbladder taken out, so you and your mom stayed home."

I nodded and Paul went on. "I hung out with Ava that weekend. I hadn't seen her in a couple of years and I don't know. I'm not even sure why it happened. I don't like her like that. But she's always flirted with me."

"Did you sleep with her?"

He turned his nose up and shook his head. "No way. This happened before I lost my virginity."

I blinked quickly and nodded slowly. "So…" I began shakily. "She was your first sexual experience?"

Paul moved around the table and perched on the edge in front of me. "Yeah, but…"

I held my hand up and sneered, "Let me guess...it didn't mean anything?"

"It didn't. I swear it didn't."

I crossed my arms over my chest and scooted back from him. This hurt. I didn't want it to. He wasn't mine then. Even though I wanted him to be. If only I had been more brave. If only we could have had these firsts together.

"There is something else…"

I scoffed. "What else?"

Paul raised his gaze to meet mine, a pained look crossed his face before he finally said, "Ava was my first kiss, too."

Fuck.

That information felt like a slug to the gut. I just kept shaking my head. Why did I need to know these things? Why did I want so desperately to go back and be his first everything? "We should have been each other's firsts, Paul," I blurted out without realizing. "It would have been so perfect."

He jerked forward and pulled my hands into his. "You think I don't know that?"

I yanked my hands from his grasp and blinked back tears. "There's nothing I can do...can give you, that you haven't already experienced with someone else. This is all ruined now."

Paul's face twisted with regret. He swallowed thickly and reached for the side of my face. I closed my eyes as his thumb trailed down my jawline and came to rest on my neck. "There's so much I haven't done yet, Keegan. And I want it all. I want it with you."

I lowered my eyes and sighed deeply. "I'll always compare myself to them. I'll always wonder if I'm enough. If I'm good enough, sexy enough, if you want me as much as you did them."

Paul laughed. Actually, he belly-laughed. I scowled at him and tried to move off the couch to get away from him but he lunged forward, straddling my legs and pinning me down.

"Get off me!" I squealed. "You're so fat!"

Paul laughed again. "I'm fat?"

I stopped struggling and peered up at him angrily. "Yeah...and ugly too."

He threw me a playful smirk before stripping off his shirt and tossing it behind the couch. "I'm ugly?"

My eyes lowered and scanned his bare chest once before glancing into his eyes once more. "Yep. The ugliest boy I've ever seen."

Paul hummed quietly as he smirked down at me. Even as I growled at him, my hands wandered up his stomach, fingers trailing over each defined ridge. I watched as his eyes zeroed in on my fingers. "I'm so ugly that you can't stop touching me?"

I yanked my hands back and sighed. "Why did you laugh at me?"

An incredible smile spread across his face before he shifted away from me, sitting beside me on the couch. I watched as he ran his hand through his hair and then smoothed it down his face. "I laughed because I can't believe you would ever doubt yourself. Good enough? Sexy enough? You've got to be kidding me, Kee."

I hung my head and sighed deeply. "I just don't think…"

I gasped when he leaned over and pulled me on top of him, before reclining back against the pile of throw pillows. "Don't think right now. Just feel."

I relaxed against his chest, smiling when I felt his hands go into my hair, tugging my ponytail free. I skimmed my fingers up and down his sides before turning my head to brush my lips back and forth over his bare skin. I heard his breath hitch, then he moaned my name so softly I barely heard it.

I began scooting my body down, trailing kisses down his torso as I went. I paused at the waistband of his pajama pants to peer up at him. His eyes grew wide when I curled my fingers around the edge and began easing them down.

"Wait," he demanded breathlessly, his eyes squeezed shut tightly.

I pulled away from him, rocking back on my heels until we were no longer touching. "You don't want me to?" I choked out.

"Keegan," Paul breathed as he pulled me toward him, angling my body to lie between him and the back of the couch. "Just don't go." He held me tightly against his side and stroked my hair.

"So I was right."

He caught my quivering chin between his thumb and forefinger, easing it up to force my gaze to meet his. "You weren't right if you meant I don't want you, because I do."

"No you don't," I countered. "You wouldn't even let me do it. Why, Paul? Am I that hideous?"

Paul's mouth tightened into a straight line as he glared at me. He reached for my hand and pressed it to his crotch. "You feel that? Does it feel like I think you're hideous?"

He let go of my hand but I didn't let go of him. "So what's the problem? Why don't you want me to…"

"I do," he groaned a little as I stroked him through his clothes. "But not because you want to prove something to me."

I peered up at him and stilled my hand. "That's not why I want to. I just want to show you I can do these things. Things you like. Things that other girls have done for you." I let go of him and slid my hand up his chest.

Paul grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to the center of my palm. "I just don't want you to regret it. That's all. You should only do these things because you want to, not because someone else has done it first."

I sighed and rested my head on Paul's chest. "I guess you're right. I just...I don't want to lose you or lose this thing we have...whatever it is right now."

"Sleep with me?" Paul pleaded.

My eyes grew wide. "I don't think…"

"Not that," he laughed. "Just sleep. Last night with you was amazing. I love how cuddly you are in your sleep."

"Here?"

"Why not? We can say we fell asleep watching a movie," Paul supplied when I looked skeptical.

"I don't know…"

"Please, Keegan. Spending the night together is something I've missed so much."

I was tempted. Extremely tempted. But I wanted the time and space to think. Here I was again, being hurt by Paul and then jumping right back in for more. I needed to make sure this is what I wanted. That he was what I wanted.

I still had Embry to consider and we had some things to discuss as well.

"I should just go upstairs to sleep," I admitted hesitantly. "It's not because I'm mad," I added quickly. "I know I can't control what happened in your past. I just…"

I drifted off into my thoughts about my confrontation with Ava. I felt Paul's hand curl around my back, pulling me close and forcing me to look up at him. "Go on, please?"

"I don't understand why you never told me how you felt about me."

He blinked quickly and nodded. "I wanted to. After I realized how much I wanted you, I tried to but…"

"What happened?" I demanded angrily.

Paul sighed and glanced away. "I'm not supposed to tell."

"Paul Alexander Lahote," I scolded. "You need to be honest with me...right now."

I could feel him resisting me, his eyes on anything but me. I climbed over him, straddling his hips with one of my feet pressed to the floor beside the couch. I held his face in both my hands and I demanded answers. "Talk to me now...or I walk away for good."

Paul sucked in a deep breath and looked me square in the eye. He slid his hands around my waist and jerked me close to him, taking advantage of my position on top of him. The one I really didn't think through before I did it. "Are you sure you want to know this?"

I nodded slowly, even as I felt his hands slip down, grip my ass cheeks and squeeze roughly. I held back a whimper and waited for his response.

"Your dad asked me to stay away from you."

…..

Paul went on to explain how he had gone to his own father for advice on how to approach a different kind of relationship with me. My father joined in the conversation, evidently protesting anything other than friendship between us. He didn't think I was ready for anything more serious and since this was last year, he was probably right. BUT his father suggested Paul sow his wild oats until I was old enough to date.

This also partially contributed to Paul keeping the other guys away, because not only did my father want Paul to stay away, he also didn't want me dating anyone. Fuck. So many people making choices for me and keeping me from what I really wanted.

"I'm so sorry, Keegan."

Sorry. Of course he was. We both were. This whole situation was sorry. So much wasted time being controlled by what other people thought. My head was swirling and I didn't even know who to trust anymore.

I bit my lower lip as I considered my own role in all this. "I know you're sorry, Paul. And I'm sorry too."

He held me a little tighter against him, pushing his hands through my hair and searching my eyes for answers. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I should've told you how I felt. I held back because I was too scared to make the first move. If we had talked and been honest… really honest about everything, maybe we wouldn't be here right now."

Paul sighed, his face twisting with regret once again. He pulled me closer, hugging me tightly and smoothing his hands up and down my back. "It's not too late to fix things. We can forgive each other for this whole mess and make a fresh start."

He paused to look for my gaze and he gave me a small smile before continuing. "I don't care what _anyone _thinks. You're the girl for me, Keegan. We can't let anything get in the way of what we want. You know how good we can be together, don't you?"

I rested my cheek on his bare chest, simply needing a break from how intensely he stared at me and how desperate his voice sounded. I needed a clear head. Whenever it came to Paul, I always jumped in feet first. I needed to start protecting my heart. If I agreed to see where this would go with us, how long would it be before he hurt me again?

I lifted my head slowly, needing to put some space between us for my own sanity. "Paul…"

I locked eyes with him and I couldn't resist the pull. His fingers brushing over my cheek felt like heaven. His touch was so soft and it set my skin alight with desire. When he cupped my jaw and leaned down to close the distance between us, I whimpered in protest. "I need some time, Paul."

I knew how much those words were hurting him. I could feel how desperate he was to settle this and move on. I wanted that too. But my fragile heart was begging me to make sure. I was still holding back for fear of getting hurt. How could I not? It had already happened so many times before.

"I can't talk you into sleeping down here with me?" he offered sweetly when I climbed off of him.

"Not tonight."

"No kiss good night?"

I sighed when I heard his voice call to me from across the room. Without turning to face him, I sighed, "No. You can't be trusted to keep it PG." I wasn't kidding. He was so bad.

I stood there for a moment, knowing if I didn't escape right then, he'd have me in his arms, his tongue in my mouth, and his hands all over me. I was torn between staying and letting him or running and making him wait.

"Come here."

I was instantly stunned when I felt his hands on my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. He held my hands in his, intertwining our fingers while he pressed the softest kiss to my lips. I was still leaning in, eyes closed and eager for more when he pulled away. He was smiling down at me when I looked up at him in wonder. "That's it?" I mused playfully.

He grinned in amusement and nodded. "You said you wanted PG."

"Oh." My body slumped a little and dare I say I was...disappointed? When I turned my back on him, he pulled on my wrist and yanked me back quickly. Our chests collided before he held the front of my throat posessively and kissed me hungrily. He kept his hands pressed tightly to my lower back as his mouth explored mine.

Paul nibbled my lower lip and swept his tongue across mine when I paused to moan into his mouth. My hands gripped his wide shoulders, pulling him down to me and needing him as close as he could be. So much for needing some time.

When I felt Paul trying to walk us back to the couch, I made every attempt to ease away from him. I wanted this kiss. Hell, I wanted him. But I had to get my head straight. "I...should go," I whispered hesitantly against his mouth.

He growled in frustration before releasing me. Paul held his hands up and smirked at me. "You're free. But if you don't get going soon, I swear…"

I didn't let him finish that thought. I laughed as I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and escaped up the stairs, two at a time. I tiptoed up to my room, feeling pretty confident that no one had noticed that Paul and I had gone missing.

"Are you okay?"

I gasped hearing his voice in the dark. "What are you doing in here?" I flipped my nightstand lamp on to find Embry stretched out on my bed.

"You never came back from the kitchen. I just wanted to check on you."

"I was with Paul." I flopped back beside Embry on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Did you have a fight?"

I sighed. "No. He just told me some things I needed to hear."

"So you forgave him? Again?"

His voice sounded bitter. Letting Paul off the hook again made me sound weak. But I knew that opening my heart to Paul was very brave. My mom was right. I had to stop letting my fear keep me from getting what I really wanted.

I wanted Paul.

"Yes. I forgave Paul. We all have a past, Embry. His just happens to be on vacation with us."

He turned to lie on his side, facing me. "You know I'd never stand in your way, Keegan. If Paul is who you want, then I will stand aside. I just don't like seeing you get hurt over and over again."

"I know what I want, Embry. I want Paul." I took a deep breath and turned my head to look into his eyes. "I know I misled you. I said I wanted you both, but my feelings have changed. I just want Paul."

Embry nodded and sighed sadly. "I knew the chances were slim that you would ever pick me. But you know I had to try."

"I'm so sorry."

He forced a small smile and cupped my chin in his hand. "Don't be. I'm a big boy. I'll be okay."

"I wish you'd just be an asshole," I laughed. "It would have made things so much easier on me."

Embry laughed too before his eyes got serious and shifted on top of me. "I can be an asshole."

I blinked up at him and opened my mouth to speak. I heard my door open and my stomach twisted when Paul's face came into view.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Shit.

...

A/N: another cliffhanger! But I have to keep you guys coming back for more! How do you think Paul will handle what he's seen?


	18. 18 - About Who She Chose

**18 - About Who She Chose**

_**Paul's POV - **_

I twisted the door knob and pushed Keegan's door open. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and my stomach twisted when I saw Embry hovering over my girl.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

The small amount of light coming from the bedside lamp illuminated Keegan's face. She had been smiling up at him, maybe even laughing. They weren't even touching, but that didn't stop me from striding across him the room to yank him away from Keegan.

"Fuck!" he sputtered when he stumbled back and his ass landed on the floor.

Keegan jumped to my side, wrapping her arms around my bicep as I towered over Embry. I glanced down at her, noticing she was still dressed and so was Embry. Maybe they weren't doing anything...yet. But that didn't mean he wasn't trying.

"You've got 5 seconds to get the fuck away from my girl before I beat the shit out of you."

Embry scoffed as he stood and brushed himself off. "If you're feeling froggy…then jump," he challenged.

I shook my head and chuckled. He's got some nerve. Keegan stepped between us, obviously sensing I was moments away from exploding. "Just walk away, Paul. We weren't doing anything but talking."

I focused in on her now, suddenly aware of her part in this. He wasn't taking advantage of her. Whatever they were doing was mutual and she was defending him. That just pissed me off even more. "So you need time away from me, but you jump right into bed with him?"

She raised her chin defiantly, her jaw tensing in anger. "It's none of your business, but Embry was already here when I got back."

My gaze shifted back to Embry as Keegan was still wedged against me, making it difficult for me to stay mad at her. He was still scowling at me like I was in the wrong. "So your little vulture ass decided to prey on her? Were you hoping she'd be vulnerable and you could make your move?" I seethed.

"Fuck you!" Embry spat, reaching around Keegan to shove my shoulder. "I was worried about her. I thought maybe she would need me. I didn't have any ulterior motive. Unlike you, sex doesn't consume my every thought."

I chuckled again. "Yeah, I forgot. You're the perfect boyfriend. So fucking kind and considerate." I glanced down at a shocked Keegan and huffed. "I hope you'll both be happy together."

I retreated back to the closed door and with my hand on the doorknob, I tossed another shitty comment over my shoulder. "At least now I know why you were in such a hurry to get back up here."

"You're such a dick, Paul!"

I yanked the door open and stomped back to my room. I knew I was being a dick. I knew that situation was probably way more innocent than my overactive imagination had led me to believe, but I wasn't ready to say sorry yet.

"You're fucking this all up."

Embry was the last person I expected to follow me into my room. I stood looking out the window with my back to him before I addressed him. "You narrowly escaped an ass whooping back there. I suggest you leave me the fuck alone."

"I'll take my chances."

I whirled around to find Embry leaning against the doorframe. At least he was smart enough to keep the door open in case he needed to escape. I told him, "We aren't friends anymore and I didn't ask for your advice."

He chuckled as he crossed his scrawny arms over his chest. "We aren't friends anymore?" he echoed. "Since when?"

"Since I caught you on top of my girl."

"I was leaving. I was climbing over her. I wouldn't…"

"Try to fuck her?" I supplied.

Embry rolled his eyes. "You're such an idiot. You don't deserve how loyal that girl is to you."

"Loyal? The _second_ she gets mad at me, she's all over you. Last time I checked, that's not loyal. And you just eat it up. It's like you just keep waiting for me to fuck up."

Embry sighed and ran both hands through his hair. "As much as I wish she wanted me, she doesn't. She never did. You're the one she's always been crazy about, Paul."

"What's your angle?" I asked skeptically.

"Angle? I just want Keegan to be happy. That's all."

I eyed him carefully, looking for a crack in his armor. I wanted him to be a bad guy. I wanted to hate him for trying to steal my girl. But in reality, _he _was the good guy and _I _was the asshole. "She's too good for me," I announced out of nowhere.

Embry looked shocked by my admission. "I don't know why you're so insecure. Fuck, man. She chose you!"

I scowled as I processed what he said. "What makes you say that?"

He shook his head like it was an internal struggle just to continue this conversation with me. "Just forget it. You're so determined to fuck this up? Maybe I should just let you… and pick up the pieces when you hurt her again," he commented bitterly.

I approached him as he lingered near the door, one foot in and one foot out. "You wouldn't though. You're not that asshole."

Embry laughed. "That's the same thing she said. Keegan said she wished I was an asshole. That's really why I was on top of her. I was showing her I could be."

"And?" I urged, my fists clenching.

"Then you walked in," he sneered.

I stepped a little closer. "And if I hadn't?"

Embry sucked in a deep breath, puffing out his chest. "I'd like to think something could have happened between us…"

"But?" I urged impatiently.

"She wants you."

I scoffed. "And you too."

Embry shook his head. "No, dumbass. She just wants you."

"How do you know?" I demanded angrily.

Embry growled, "She told me, Paul. Keegan only wants you."

….

Embry's admission had my head swimming. He left my room shortly after that, the awkwardness of me being speechless seemed too much for either of us to bear. I was tempted to sneak back into her room and demand she tell me what had happened if I hadn't walked in. My jealousy and possessiveness was bordering on ridiculous. I didn't trust myself to be alone with her.

I didn't trust myself not to screw it all up… again.

The next morning I found myself peeking into Keegan's room when I saw the door cracked open. She was nowhere to be found so I wandered downstairs. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen.

My stomach betrayed me, doing some ridiculous flip-floppy thing when I locked eyes on my girl. "Morning," I announced as I breezed into the room.

I noticed Keegan's smile fall when she noticed me. I took my chance by brushing past her as she sat on a stool eating her breakfast. I reached over her to steal a piece of bacon from her plate and I smiled when her breath hitched. "That's really good," I murmured into her ear. She growled a little, but made no move to get away from me. That alone gave me some hope. Maybe I could still fix this thing between us.

I sauntered over to my mom, grateful that she was handling cooking duties this morning. I gave her a big hug, surprising her with my affection. She happily offered me a plate and I took a seat next to Keegan. I glanced past her to acknowledge Embry, hoping we were still cool after I behaved like such an ass to him. He gave me a slight nod and an expectant look. I know he was wondering how I would be dealing with Keegan today.

I wanted to talk to Keegan alone. And given how icy she was acting this morning, I knew it would be a struggle to get that alone time. I was quietly eating my breakfast and deep in thought when her mom walked in and asked if she was ready to go. "Go?" I echoed like an idiot. "Where are we going?"

Our moms laughed. "_We _are going into town for a spa day. And of course, you boys are welcome to join us if you're in need of a waxing…" my mom teased.

Keegan rose from her stool and made her way to the sink with her empty plate. Shit. I had to think fast. She would be gone all day and I wouldn't get the chance to be alone with her. I swung around to face her as she passed by me and blurted, "I thought we'd go swimming today," I paused to gauge her reaction. "We could take the bikes down there, pack a picnic lunch, and make a whole day of it."

I cringed when I realized how much that sounded like a date. Keegan gave me a furrowed brow until I grabbed the tips of her fingers and practically begged. "Come with us. I really wanna show Embry our favorite place and it won't be the same without you."

With just a little more puppy dog eye action and our moms convincing her it was okay to skip the spa day thing, Keegan finally relented. I urged her to go get ready as our moms took off for a day in town. Embry eyed me skeptically and asked, "Bikes? You wanna ride bicycles today?"

I chuckled as I took my plate to the sink. "Not bicycles. Dirt bikes, dude." He looked nervous, but I convinced him it would be a cinch for him to learn.

Half hour later, we were changed and packed up to go out for the day. Keegan was still upstairs, so I took Embry out to the garage for a quick lesson on how to ride a dirt bike.

"You're not seriously thinking about letting him ride one of these are you?"

I looked up to find Keegan gliding toward us, clad only in a bikini top and cut-off denim shorts. Fuck me. Her hair was pulled onto a tight ponytail on top of her head and her smooth shoulders were smattered in adorable little freckles I couldn't wait to kiss. I closed my mouth when Embry nudged me and I realized I had been staring. "He'll be fine," I assured her as she cocked her head at me.

"And what about me?" she sassed, throwing her beach bag over her shoulder with attitude.

I secured a small picnic basket to the back of the bike Embry would be driving and then I smirked at Keegan. "You're riding with me."

"Dude, you're delusional. I'm not getting on that bike with you."

"So you're staying here?" I challenged.

"No," she pouted. "I _know_ how to ride. Why can't Embry ride with me?"

I glanced at Embry, really hating the idea of him wrapping his arms around Keegan. "Well that's up to him. I mean...as long as he doesn't mind riding bitch."

Embry bristled at my comment and Keegan turned up her nose. "Why don't you ride bitch with Embry and let me have your bike?" she suggested with a devilish gleam in her eye.

I laughed as I threw my leg over and patted the seat behind me. "Dream on, sexy. You know you can't wait to jump on here with me."

She glanced back at Embry, who had finally got the engine started after the fourth try. He gave her a nervous smile and shrugged. I smirked, knowing she was just being stubborn. "Come on, Keegan. Just get on," I coaxed.

I had to look away and hide my smile when Keegan grabbed my shoulders for balance and climbed on behind me. She tried her best to keep her distance but the way the back of the bike raised up in the back, her body was forced against mine. I reached back to pull her thighs around me.

"Paul," she scolded when I slid my hands down her calves.

"You better hold on," I warned as I kicked the bike to start.

She huffed and mumbled something into my shoulders blades that I didn't hear. I revved the engine and let it jerk forward to warn her because she still wasn't holding onto me. I laughed when she squealed, wrapped her arms all the way around me and we sped off.

I could have stayed like this all day. The feeling of Keegan's body intertwined with mine, her breath on my bare skin, her cute little gasps when I went too fast or hit a bump. I was living for all of it. She held me so tightly, at times, I could barely breathe. But I didn't care enough to tell her to stop.

I never wanted her to stop touching me.

I knew once we arrived at our swimming spot, she would either ignore me, pick a fight because she was still mad about last night, or run off with Embry just to piss me off. When I slowed down and parked under a large willow tree, I covered Keegan's hands with mine. I could feel her heart pounding as she stayed pressed against my back.

I quietly groaned when she pulled away from me and climbed off the seat. I caught her as she began to tumble, having caught her sandal on the way off. "You okay?" I gasped, pulling her tightly to me when she struggled to gain her balance.

She nodded her head quickly, refusing to make eye contact with me. "Keegan," I breathed, holding her chin in one hand and pressing against her lower back with the other.

Her long, pale lashes fluttered up at me and her gaze met mine. I sucked in a deep breath and blurted, "I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have been such a dick about you and Embry. We aren't together, but you know I think of you as my girl, don't you?"

Keegan only blinked in response. I ran my thumb down her jawline and tipped her head back just a bit more. "I'll always be jealous of anyone who gets close to you, but I should've listened when you tried to explain."

"You talked to Embry?" she sighed.

I nodded. "You told him you want me? Just me?" I asked desperately, needing to hear it from her.

She tilted her head a bit and a small smile started to form at the corners of her mouth. "I _may_ have said that...but that was before you charged into my room and went off on me."

She was fucking with me. I could feel it. And shit, I deserved it. When she started to back away from me, I pulled her across my lap and held her even closer. "Put me down!" she squealed playfully.

I tickled her behind her knees and grinned like an idiot when she squirmed against me. "Tell me you want me," I begged like an idiot.

Keegan gripped my wrist and I stopped tickling her. She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed my palm softly, her eyes locking on mine. "I want…" she paused to lick her lips and lean up close to me. With her mouth just a breath from mine, she whispered, "I want to go swimming."

With that she jumped off my lap and out of my grasp. I growled in frustration as she spread out a blanket from her bag, bending over in front of me as she did. Fuck. I was already so worked up from being so close to her and now she was shimmying out of those tiny jean shorts and revealing her bikini bottoms.

When she pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and glanced back at me, I knew I was a dead man. "Wanna help me with this?"

Girl, you have no idea.

I tried to tear my eyes away from her plump ass and all that smooth, freckled skin. Fuck me. I removed a small cooler bag hanging off the side of the bike and used it to cover my ever-growing hard-on. Keegan kept her back to me as she knelt on the blanket, resting that perfect ass on her heels.

She held the bottle of sunscreen over her shoulder as I knelt behind her. Why did I think this would be a good idea? My swim trunks weren't gonna help hide my raging boner. And now I have to touch her too?

I could hear Embry approaching as I squirted some of the thick lotion into my hands and began spreading it onto her shoulders. I squeezed hard as I ran my hands down her arms and over her lower back. I felt my dick twitch when she moaned ever so quietly. "How's that?" I breathed into her ear.

"Heavenly," she hummed. When she turned around and smiled up at me, it was all I could do not to kiss her. "Wanna do my front too?"

I nearly choked. "Umm...can't you do it?"

She grinned up at me and shook her head innocently. "You've already got some lotion on your hands. Might as well keep going."

Embry placed the picnic basket next to me on the blanket and glanced between us. "Sunscreen?" Keegan offered.

Embry chuckled. "Nah. I'm good. I'm ready to get in the water."

I silently thanked him for walking away just then. Keegan slid closer to me, placing her legs on either side of mine as I stayed kneeling in front of her. I smoothed my lotion covered hands up her calves and ran my thumbs up between her thighs.

I nearly lost it when she moved to lie back on the blanket and kept her gaze locked completely on mine. "I'm waiting," she urged and couldn't help noticing how her chest rose and fell quickly with each breath.

When I straddled her thighs and ran my hands over her stomach, she jumped a little. "That tickled," she laughed softly.

Now all I had left to do was coat her chest in sunscreen. So why were my hands shaking so damn hard? Keegan squeezed her eyes shut as I lathered up my hands again and held them above her bikini covered breasts. "Go ahead," she murmured, obviously sensing I was nervous.

When I was hesitant, she covered my hand with hers and pressed it to her chest. Suddenly I felt brave as I slid my fingers down her cleavage and across the mounds that spilled over the top. Her skin felt so silky under my palms and my mind must have been going haywire because I heard myself groan, "Take it off."

Keegan's eyes snapped open. "Paul," she sighed. "We're not alone."

She didn't say no. My dick was rejoicing.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Embry pretty far in the distance, distracted by the cool water. "He can't see anything," I tried to persuade her sweetly. I wasn't lying. The willow tree I had chosen was providing lots of cover from prying eyes.

I bit my lower lip painfully when Keegan glanced around, finally lifting her hands to the tie at the nape of her neck. She was panting as she let the strings fall, revealing her milky white breasts and the pale pink buds hardening from the cool air. Or maybe it was because I couldn't stop staring at them.

"Touch me, Paul."

My mouth hung open and when I pushed her back and covered one of those perfect pebbles with my lips, she cried out my name. I switched from one to the other, lusciously laving each one as I watched her face for every reaction. That was the best part. The way Keegan reacted to my mouth on her skin had me growing harder by the minute. "Fuck, Keegan," I mumbled against her nipple when she tugged on my hair.

I released her pebbled skin with a pop, earning me a whimper from Keegan's sweet lips. Her eyes opened slowly, gazing up at me with need. I pulled her up to sit before carefully tying her top back up. She watched me with a furrowed brow before reaching up for me and kissing me gently. "I'm throbbing, Paul," she moaned when I broke off the kiss.

I hugged her tightly and buried my face in her neck. "Me too, baby. Me too."

...

A/N: was that hot enough? Thanks for reading!


	19. 19 - About Who's the Best

**19- About Who's the Best**

"Quit!" I screeched at Paul as he cannonballed off the end of the dock and splashed me with a huge wave.

We'd been in the water for more than an hour and we were having the best time. Embry was being playful and fun as well and I hoped he hadn't noticed what Paul and I had been doing under the tree.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

And I couldn't wipe the smile off my face every time I thought about it. I don't know what possessed me to take my bikini top down and show Paul my breasts. Well… I guess I do know. It was the way he asked. Hell, he didn't even ask me. He just demanded it. _Take it off. _Just thinking about it made me shiver.

For all the messing around we had done, that was the first time he had seen me topless. I wasn't lying when I said I was throbbing. I was just happy we got into the water shortly after so that no one could see how damp my bikini bottoms were. Paul did something to my body that I couldn't explain. And the only thing I knew was, I wanted more of that feeling.

I squealed when I felt something touch my leg. Paul surfaced near me, pushing the water off his face and through his inky black hair with both hands. "You are such a scaredy-cat!" he teased. As mad as I was, I couldn't deny how truly beautiful he was.

I splashed him before attempting to swim away, but he was too fast catching up to me just before I made it to the dock. "Where do you think you're going?" he murmured into my ear.

I squirmed in his arms, causing him to loosen his grip on me. "I'm getting out," I announced.

Paul swam up behind me as I gripped the dock edge. "Stay in and play with me," he growled lowly against the center of my back.

I gasped when he slid his hands up my thighs and encircled my waist. "I'm hungry," I whined as my body betrayed me and I leaned against his broad chest.

"Me too," he laughed as he attacked my neck with kisses.

"You're so bad," I sighed even as I tilted my head and allowed him better access to my neck.

"You love it," he whispered into my ear. I could feel him pressing into me from behind. My nipples hardened painfully from Paul's teasing and I couldn't help but smile when I thought how far we had come since that day on the beach when he first saw me in a bikini. _Oh how times have changed._

When I was finally able to wriggle away from Paul, I made my way back to the blanket under the tree and began spreading out our picnic lunch. "This looks great!" Embry gushed as he collapsed next to me and grabbed a handful of apple slices.

"Are you having fun?"

Embry nodded and glanced out across the field to the SUV that had just pulled off. "I am. And I know you are too. You and Paul, huh?"

I shrugged and couldn't control my smile. "I guess so. I know he's an ass sometimes, but…"

"You love him."

I glanced up at Embry, his expression unreadable. "You must hate me."

"Oh no. I could never. I just...you know. Hoped for a different outcome."

"You're gonna find the right girl. I just know it. And you've been such a good friend to me. I'm never gonna forget that." I held my hand out to Embry. He forced a smile and squeezed my hand gently.

"This looks fun."

My whole body tensed at the sound of her voice. "Just go away, Ava. There's no skanks allowed at this picnic," I growled, not bothering to turn and face her.

"Skanks, huh? That's not how Embry feels, is it?" she challenged.

I turned my body slightly, glancing up at her from my spot on the blanket. I could see Paul approaching us, drying his body with a beach towel as he walked. "What the hell, Ava? Why are you here?"

Ava's face lit up at the sight of Paul, half naked and dripping wet. I jumped up between them when she reached out to touch his chest. She lifted her chin a little when Paul slid his arm around my waist and pressed a kiss to my temple. _Take that, skank._

She raised her eyebrows in confusion. "You two...are together now?"

"Yes," I retorted quickly, noticing how Embry's expression fell.

She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "Well I just got dropped off here, so I'm sure you won't mind me joining your little party, would you?"

We all stood there dumbfounded at her audacity. I wanted Paul to tell her off, but when he didn't, I stepped in. Ava was about to kneel down on the blanket when I grabbed her arm and pulled her back up. "Not so fast. We didn't invite you and we sure as hell don't want you here."

Ava scowled. "Embry?" she whined as she glanced at him pitifully. "You want me to stay don't you?"

The way she licked her lips let me know she wanted something other than lunch. "Ava… you should probably go."

Embry stood now, stepping close to her, keeping his expression tight. "Don't start shit, okay? We're having a nice day."

Ava narrowed her gaze at him, obviously disappointed that he wouldn't take her side. "You're having fun?" she accused him skeptically. "It's fun being a third wheel to these lovebirds?" Ava scoffed, waving her hand toward Paul and I.

Embry let his eyes drift in my direction, his jaw clenching as Paul tightened his grip around my waist. "Let's go," he breathed after a few more painful minutes of staring me down hard. "I'll take you home."

Embry grabbed his shirt and a couple of sandwiches before stalking off to the dirt bike, he had left parked in the field. Ava watched him leave and just when I thought it was safe to breathe, she glared at me and announced, "I guess it all worked out in the end. You got Paul and I got the guy with the bigger dick." She paused and shrugged when my mouth gaped open. "You know what they say about skinny guys."

I was reaching for her hair when Embry pulled up alongside us and hollered for Ava. She bounced off in his direction and eagerly wrapped herself around Embry as he tore off back the way we came. "That little fu…"

My train of thought was thrown off when Paul pulled me close and covered my mouth with his. After a few minutes of swoon-worthy kisses, I finally started to feel a little better. "Let's eat," Paul suggested as he pressed his forehead to mine.

….

"I just don't get what he sees in her."

Paul sat leaned against the tree trunk as I continued to gripe about the Ava and Embry pairing. "Probably the same thing any other guy does...big lips and a nice rack," he replied distractedly.

"Seriously?"

Paul finally looked at me and shrugged. "Fuck, I don't know, Keegan. But I'm tired of discussing it to death." When he jumped up and tossed his trash down, I knew I had screwed up.

"I'm sorry." I gazed up at him, trying my best to soften his hardened expression toward me.

I reached up and took his hand in mine. "Come back to me. I've been an idiot."

Paul sighed deeply, glancing around for a moment before resuming his spot by the tree. I crawled toward him, climbing over his thighs to straddle his lap. He scanned my eyes, lowering his gaze to my mouth and then even lower, to my chest. When he didn't touch me, I took his hands and placed them on my ass, finally earning me one of his killer smiles. "That's better," I praised him.

When I let my hands roam over his bare chest and across his shoulders, I felt him relax. He pulled me a little closer, pressing his lips to my neck. "Ooh, that feels so good," I sighed when he licked and sucked and bit my tender flesh.

"Can I ask you something?" Paul moaned as he dragged his lips across my collarbone.

I whimpered as I pulled away and held Paul's face in my hands to get his attention. "No, I'm not jealous of Ava. I just think Embry can do a lot better."

Paul furrowed his brow and leaned away from me. "Wow. Fuck, Keegan I wasnt even thinking about that anymore." He paused a beat and added, "But I guess you were."

When Paul squirmed underneath me, I knew I had screwed up again. "Don't," Paul growled, turning his face away when I leaned in close to him.

"I wasn't thinking about them either. I was concentrating on us, baby. I just…" I fumbled for my words, needing to fix this thing between us before it ended altogether too quickly.

Paul gripped my wrists, pulling them from his shoulders and folding them behind my back. "I wanted to talk about us, Kee. You told Ava we were together...was that real? Or did you just say it to piss her off?"

When I hesitated, Paul pressed me back, maneuvering me to lie back with him hovering over me on the blanket. His eyes were darker than usual, fueled by anger or lust, I wasn't sure. "Are you gonna answer me?" he urged breathlessly as he settled between my thighs.

My hands wandered all over his torso, touching every inch of his smooth, muscled body. "I want…"

"Yeah?" he moaned softly when my fingertips trailed up and down his back at the slowest pace. "Tell me," he growled as he spread my thighs wide open and rocked against me insistently.

My mind went blank for a second as I clawed my way down his arms and held on for dear life. "I want...us, Paul. I meant what I said." My voice was coming out like a whimper and I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't so damn worked up.

Paul eased back, kneeling between my thighs and planting his hands on either side of my hips. "You mean it? You really want this…me? We can be a couple?"

I couldn't help but giggle at how excited he was. I didn't want to just make _him_ happy, _I _wanted to be happy. Being with Paul was like a dream come true. But I couldn't push aside all the nagging doubts. When I didn't answer, Paul held my face in his hands and pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. "Keegan?"

"I want this, Paul. But do you, really? Because if we do this, I'm not hiding our relationship. I want everything with you. Holding hands in school, making out at our lockers, hugs between classes, the whole thing. I won't be someone you're embarrassed to be seen with."

I held my breath and waited for his response.

Paul slumped back and put some distance between us. I sat up and crossed my legs, suddenly feeling exposed in nothing but my bikini and my thighs spread wide. "Are you serious?" Paul sighed, running his hand over his face.

I couldn't hide the disappointment in my eyes, so I turned away from him and rolled over onto my stomach. I reached for the small cooler to grab a bottle of water, shocked when I felt Paul's body cover mine. "I didn't say no," he whispered into my ear.

He lowered his body onto mine, resting on his elbows and caging me underneath him. He swept my hair to the side and exposed my back to him. I felt his fingertips brushing my bare skin until he reached the ties of my bikini top. "I want all that too, Kee. Every bit of it."

I clenched my thighs together when he straddled me from behind. I didn't object when he pulled the strings of my bikini top at the middle of my back and the nape of my neck. "Then why did you hesitate?" I sighed as I rested my cheek on my arms, folded under my face. I knew I should probably be arguing with Paul for removing my top, but I was face down and he couldn't see anything anyway.

My whole body melted when Paul slid his huge hands up my back and down again. I moaned when he squeezed my tense muscles and cupped my shoulders. I could feel him leaning over me, his chest pressing into my back. "If we do this, then we tell everyone. And that means our families too. Are you prepared to confront your dad?"

It only took me a moment to decide. "I'd do it, Paul. I don't care what my dad says. I want this. I want us."

Paul froze. I couldn't see his face so I didn't know if he was surprised, happy, sad or what. He planted his hands flat on the blanket and tilted his hips so his lower half was pressing into mine. "Fuck," I gasped softly when I felt him hard and ready.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you?"

I nearly lost my mind when he kneaded my back expertly while grinding against my ass. I was about to comment, when I heard him whisper, "You know...I never did it like this before."

My whole body went up in flames. The thought of him being so hard for me and doing things with him that would be new experiences for us both had me so ready. "Paul, I…"

I felt him lean back, pulling us both up to a sitting position. I turned in his arms, reclining with our chests pressed together. He slid his hands under my ass and drew me tightly against him. "I'm sorry for pushing you, Kee. God, you must think I'm some sort of sex freak! You've barely agreed to be my girlfriend and I'm already trying to get down your pants."

I wound my hands around his neck and grinned up at him. "I don't think that, Paul. It feels good to be wanted."

"Oh you are," he groaned, his hands coasting up my sides and coming to rest on the sides of my bare breasts.

I batted his hands away but he simply moved them to hold my jaw instead. "I'm gonna be the best boyfriend ever, Keegan. You can trust me."

I gave him a few quick kisses before I spoke again. "Are you sure you won't get tired of me, Paul?"

Paul scoffed. "Why would I do that?"

"I just want to make sure. You haven't really had a girlfriend before and I know you've been playing the field and I just thought that…" I rambled quickly until Paul pressed his lips to mine and my doubts were vaporized.

"I want you, Keegan. I've wanted you for four years. There is no one or nothing that can stop me now. I won't get bored of you. I'll never stop needing you," he paused as he ran his hands up and down my back. "I love you, Kee. I have for a very long time."

"Paul," I whimpered. I opened my mouth to speak again, but Paul had other ideas. His fingers carded through my hair, dragging me close enough for him to cover his mouth with mine. His tongue dipped between my lips, brushing across mine, dominating my mouth the way he dominated my body.

I lifted my body from his, creating a space between our chests that allowed him to reach between us. His hands went from my hair to my nipples in a matter of seconds. I moaned into Paul's mouth when he captured the sensitive buds between his fingers and twisted gently. I ripped my mouth from his in order to sit up and watch him play with me.

His large, tan hands looked so beautiful in contrast to my porcelain white skin. I watched his face as he kneaded my tender flesh in his hands, marveling at my breasts like they were the best thing he'd ever seen. I gasped when he lowered his head and greedily sucked a nipple into his mouth. I cradled his head in my hands, holding him close and urging him on.

I buried my nose into his hair and breathed deeply as he continued to explore my chest with his mouth. Even with the lake water, I could still smell Paul's signature scent in his scalp. I never realized how much I loved it.

Paul released my nipple from between his lips and kissed me hard. "Fuck, Kee. I don't think I can be good much longer. I need you so badly." His voice was raspy and ragged like he had just run a mile.

I bucked my hips against him, feeling how hard he was underneath me. "You're making me so wet," I confessed quietly into his ear.

Paul groaned loudly as he wrapped his arms around me and held me so tightly to his chest. I turned to rest my face in the crook of his neck, loving every single thing about this moment and committing every second to memory. This was all I ever needed, my Paul in my arms.

…

"I got a few more dishes for you."

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Paul slid up behind me and placed a stack of dishes in the sink. My mind was elsewhere as I mindlessly washed the dinner dishes. We had fallen asleep under that tree and it was the best sleep of my life. By the time we got back, my dad had recruited Embry to assist him on the grill. My mom and Paul's mom had done all the other cooking without my help, so I offered to do the dishes… with Paul's help.

"Paul," I warned, when I felt his hands slide under my tank top and dip under my bra. I shuddered when he cupped my breasts in his hands and squeezed me roughly. "Can't you control yourself?" I chastised while giggling.

"Huh uhh," he hummed against my bare shoulder. "And more importantly than that, I don't want to."

His voice had me melting and his hard body pressing into me had me throwing all caution to the wind. I dropped the bowl I was washing and spun around in his arms. My soap covered fingers dove through his thick hair as his lips attacked my neck and trailed down my jaw. "Oh, Paul," I sighed, feeling every touch electrifying me deep in my core.

"What the hell is going on here?"

We both froze for a second before Paul released me and turned to face my father. "I can explain this," Paul began as my father crossed his arms over his chest.

"We both can," I piped up as I grabbed Paul's hand and squeezed tightly. He didn't have to face my father alone.

My father stood glaring at us for a moment before tipping his head to signify he wanted us to follow him. Paul pulled me close to him when my father disappeared from the room and held my face in his hands. "You don't have to do this. It's not too late to change your mind."

I gripped Paul's wrists and squeezed them tightly. "No way, Paul. I love you. I want this. I'll defend you and us and there's no one who can stop me."

Paul's whole face lit up before he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was too brief, I wanted more of him. His lips on my skin gave me the confidence I was going to need to face my father.

"Keegan!" he hollered from the other side of the house.

I sighed deeply as I pressed my forehead into the center of Paul's chest. "Let's do this, baby. I got your back," he grinned widely when I gazed up at him. "After this, we won't have anything else holding us back."

I returned his smile but my faith in this situation wasn't nearly as strong as his. My father had been keeping us apart for a while now. I had to tell him once and for all that he was no longer allowed to interfere in my love life. And his father had encouraged Paul to sleep with other girls, so I had a bone to pick with him too.

This was my life and I was done letting other people run it.

…..

A/N: I got distracted with some other projects but I'm back. Thanks for sticking with me! Lots of daddy drama in the next update!


	20. 20 - About the Parents

**20 - About the Parents**

_**Paul's POV - **_

"You're not even listening to me!"

I made quick work of cleaning up the mess we left the other night when we played _Circle of Death_ down here. That was the first thing her father, Russell, had complained about.

"You're acting like he made me drink," she argued furiously. "He didn't, okay? I wanted to. We were just playing a game."

"You're too young to be drinking, Keegan," Russell snarled.

"I know that, Dad."

"And you know better," Russell pointed in my direction when I placed the dirty glasses behind the bar and returned to the coffee table to gather up the playing cards.

"I…" That was all I got out before Keegan jumped back in.

"It wasn't his fault! Paul made sure my drinks weren't too strong and took care of me when I got tipsy. Don't yell at him."

I tucked the pack on playing cards in the drawer and moved to stand next to Keegan as she faced down her father. "I looked out for her, sir. I know we shouldn't have been drinking but we were here and doing it safely. No one was driving."

Her father huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. I wasn't intimidated in the least, but I sure as he wasn't going to disrespect him either. We all glanced toward the stairs when we heard footfalls coming down. My father joined us, his brow furrowing deeply as he glanced around the room. "Russell, is there some sort of problem?"

Her father nodded and scowled. "Where should I even start? When I found them upstairs making out? Or when we came down here and found out they had been drinking together?" Russell pointed to the half full bottle of Jack Daniels I had absently left on the floor near the couch.

"You let her drink?" my dad accused me quickly.

"Oh my God, I'm right here. Stop acting like this. I can take care of myself!" Keegan countered. When I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, her father tossed a dirty look my way.

Russell shook his head and stepped closer to me. "A year ago, I told you my daughter was not dating. I don't want her with you. Why can't you respect my decision?"

I puffed out my chest and took in a deep breath. "I tried to keep my distance from your daughter, I really did. I didn't act on any of the feelings I've had for her all these years." I paused and noticed the shocked expression on both their faces. Our mothers stormed in at this point and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on.

"You told me not to date your daughter and to make sure no one else did either, but that was a huge mistake. It wasn't up to any of us to make those decisions for her."

"You did this?" Keegan's mom, Rhonda, accused her husband.

Russell clenched his jaw and ignored his wife. "Keegan isn't old enough to be getting serious with a boy." He paused to glare at me and then added, "Especially when that boy is Paul."

"Excuse me?" My mom chimed in. "What's wrong with Paul? He's always been a good friend to your daughter, Russell. So what's the problem?"

Russell scoffed. "They're much more than friends now, Cindy. If you had seen the way he had his hands all over her…"

"We were kissing! That's all!" Keegan exclaimed, wrapping her arm around my bicep and clinging onto me posessively. "You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"I don't understand the problem, Russell," my father interjected before her father could begin berating me again. "These kids have always cared for each other. You know that! You told Paul a year ago not to date Keegan and he didn't. He waited. I think they're old enough to know what they're doing."

"She's only sixteen!" Russell roared. "She's not ready for the kind of relationship your son engages in."

Keegan's mouth dropped. I could tell she was in shock from the way she tightened her grip around my arm. I knew she was about to go off, but I jumped in first. "You mean sex? That's what this is about? Your daughter is almost seventeen. We both are. And I know she's nowhere near ready for that. You can trust me with your daughter, Russell. I love her. I always have. I'd never hurt her."

"Love?" Keegan's father choked out. "What would you know about love? Did you love all those girls you were screwing this past year? Is _that _how you plan on _loving_ my daughter? Use her and throw her away when you get bored?"

"You don't know shit about me," I growled, taking a half step forward, only stopping when I felt Keegan tugging on my arm. "I stupidly listened to you and my father when you told me to stay away from Keegan. That was a huge mistake...one I don't plan on repeating."

Russell shook his head and sneered. "You're making a huge mistake defying me, boy." He faced my father now and sighed. "And since you have no intention of getting your kid in line, I think the best thing for all of us would be to leave."

"Dad, no!" Keegan shouted.

My father crossed his arms over his chest. "Maybe you _should _leave. Since you have the nerve to disrespect me and my family like this, I'd rather not spend the rest of our vacation with you."

"Fine," Russell huffed, throwing his arms in the air. "We'll leave first thing in the morning."

"I can't believe this," Keegan whimpered as she leaned against me.

"Keegan, you are more than welcome to stay here," my mom offered gently.

"The hell she will," Russell argued as he reached for his daughter's hand. "You're coming home with us."

"Just leave me alone!"

I watched in horror as Keegan pushed past her father and bolted up the steps. When I moved to follow her, her father roughly gripped my arm and glared at me. "Just let her go."

I shoved him back and declared, "I can't do that."

I didn't stick around to hear anyone else yell at me. I had to find my girl.

….

By the time I caught up with Keegan, she was on the deck with her head buried in her hands. Embry was standing nearby, leaning on the railing and staring at Keegan with concern. "What the hell happened?" he sighed when he looked up and saw me. "She's a mess."

I dropped all the stuff in my arms and sat next to Keegan. "It's gonna be okay," I swore when she buried her face in my chest. I held her tightly to me and inhaled the sweet scent of her hair.

"Can you grab these bags?" I nodded to the ground and directed Embry's attention there. He easily agreed and after I lifted Keegan into my arms, we were off.

Neither one of them questioned me as we traveled farther into the woods behind our cabin. Keegan had her face burrowed in my neck and Embry followed closely behind. It wasn't quite dark yet, but the sun was setting. I knew this wasn't any sort of real solution but I needed to be close to my girl without her fucking father trying to make her cry again. Bastard.

"Here's good," I directed when we got to a decent sized clearing.

I gently placed Keegan on a fallen log, brushing her tear-soaked hair away from her face and kissing her lips softly. "We're gonna figure all this out, I swear." Keegan nodded and swiped her face as more tears brimmed her eyelids.

I turned away from her and began helping Embry unpack and set up the small tent he had carried for us. He used the stakes in the bag to anchor it down into the soft ground. I found some rocks to make a small fire ring, easily locating plenty of branches to get a decent blaze going. A little while later, the fire was burning nicely. Keegan's eyes lit up when I presented her with a long metal fork and a bag of oversized marshmallows. "Your favorite," I sighed as I collapsed next to her on the log, the adrenaline from the fight downstairs having worn off a long time ago.

Embry settled on a large rock across from us and watched as Keegan happily toasted her marshmallow in the heat of the fire. "So can you tell me what happened now?"

Keegan cleared her throat and shrugged. "My father happened. He saw us kissing and went totally ballistic."

I sat listening to Keegan as she explained everything to Embry, going all the way back to last year when I told my father I wanted to date her. He heard the entire tale, ending with the disaster that unfolded downstairs. "Damn, you guy, this sucks."

Keegan passed him a perfectly toasted marshmallow before telling him, "I guess we can only hope that my dad calms down or my mom talks some sense into him. Otherwise we have to leave with them tomorrow."

"Fuck, I hate this for you guys. I can't believe you're dad is being that much of a dick."

I licked the corner of Keegan's mouth, clearing away a little bit of melted marshmallow from her mouth and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I really didn't think he would take it well but damn, he really lost his shit."

"Do you really think staying out here all night is gonna improve the situation?" Embry asked skeptically as he turned down another marshmallow and shoved his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie.

I glanced at Keegan to try and gauge her reaction. I knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but seeing her happy and relaxed like this was worth it. "Maybe we should go back," she suggested gently as she snuggled into my side.

I threw my arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We can do anything you want, baby. If you want to go back, we can go now."

Keegan sat quietly, glancing back in the direction of my family's cabin and sighing deeply before she answered. "I'll text my mom and tell her we are safe. As long as my dad doesn't send out a search party for us, it should be fine to stay the night out here."

"That sounds perfect," I cooed in her ear before pulling her body closer to mine. It was starting to get colder, but I brought the sleeping bags and I was certain I could keep my girl warm enough.

"What about you?" Keegan asked Embry after a beat. "Did you want to stay out here with us? The cabin is like a war zone right now."

Embry glanced at me and shook his head. "You know we don't mind," I tried to persuade him. "It will be close quarters but we can make it work."

I honestly didn't care if he stayed or not. Embry was cool as fuck in my book and as much as I wanted to be alone with Keegan, I knew she wouldn't be happy unless he was too.

"Nah," Embry grinned. "I'll head back now before it gets too much darker. And if anyone asks, I'll tell them you guys are safe and sound. You just needed to talk."

"Are you sure?" Keegan questioned as we all stood up. "I hate putting you in a bad position with my dad."

"You're not," he insisted as Keegan stepped closer and he wrapped her up in a huge embrace. "You guys take your time. If I sense anything bad is going down with your families, I'll text you a heads up first, okay?"

Keegan nodded and squeezed Embry a little tighter. He glanced over her shoulder at me and rolled his eyes, obviously self-conscious about the way Keegan was clinging to him.

"Let him go, baby," I finally said, noticing how she blushed when she stepped away.

"Want me to walk you back to the treeline?" I offered.

Embry glanced around and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm pretty sure I can find my way. Got an extra flashlight?"

I produced a small one from my pocket and thrust it in his direction. "This should work," I told him before giving him a bro hug and watching him disappear behind the trees. "Text me if you get lost, asshole!" I called out before he got too far away.

Keegan elbowed me playfully. "You need to be nice," she scolded.

I pulled her into my arms and pressed my forehead to hers. "And you...need to kiss me," I ordered in a husky growl.

Keegan ran her hands up my biceps and gripped my shoulders tightly. "Is that so?" she sassed adorably.

"It is," I replied, licking my lips in anticipation. "We started something in that kitchen that I would _love _to finish. What do you say?"

Keegan threaded her fingers through my hair and pulled roughly. "Fuck," I mumbled through clenched teeth. I squeezed my eyes shut when she pulled me down to her level and ran her tongue up the side of my neck.

"You like that?" she teased before sucking my earlobe into her mouth.

I answered her by leaning down, gripping her under her thighs and lifting her up. I carried her to the tent and knelt down just inside the unzipped door. I had already zipped two sleeping bags together, not wanting us to be very far apart from each other. I held the small of her back as she clung to me and crawled the rest of the way in. I switched the lantern on in the corner and placed her in the center of our makeshift bed. When I moved to lie next to her, she gave me a weird look.

We both turned, lying on our sides, facing each other. "That's it?" she teased. "What happened to finishing what we started in the kitchen?"

I laughed as I ran my hand over the swell of her hip, gripping her tightly and yanking her close to me. "I just don't want to rush you… or make you think that's the only reason I brought you here, Kee."

"Paul…" Keegan began softly. "Just shut up."

When my mouth dropped open from the boldness of her words, she took full advantage by inching forward and kissing me hard. She gasped when I rolled us over, with her ending up on top of me. I ran my hands all over her body and groaned when she spread her legs and rocked into me. "Damn, you feel so good," I groaned when she pulled away to leave kisses up and down my jawline.

Keegan sat up slowly, gazing down at me with lust-filled eyes. I hooked my hands around her hips and held her loosely as she pulled off her shirt and tossed it aside. I could nothing but stare as I watched her pull her hair up into a ponytail with nothing covering her upper half but a black lacy bra.

When she lowered her mouth to my chest and began kissing a trail down to my stomach, I froze. "Keegan," I breathed.

She paused to glance at me from under her pale lashes and heavy eyelids. "Yes?" she purred.

My whole body was tingling. The sight of her and her flaming red hair had me so hard. I was fighting myself to be good, to do what I had told her father would do and wait until she was ready. Frustration had me pulling her back to me by her arms, squeezing her ass tightly against me and trying to ignore the heat coming from between her legs. "Oh fuck," I muttered when she pulled my hair with both hands and began sucking on that spot just below my ear.

"I want you," Keegan moaned softly.

I froze again. I wanted her more than I could describe, but I wasn't sure this was the right time. Keegan noticed my lack of movement and lifted her head to look at me. "What's wrong?" she panted before I rolled her over and hovered above her.

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "I just realized there's something I'd love to do to you...if you'll let me."

I could see the hesitation in her eyes and the way she nibbled the corner of her mouth. "I think I'm ready," Keegan replied breathlessly.

I suddenly realized what she thought I meant. "I don't have a condom," I blurted. "I didn't think you wanted to yet."

She almost looked relieved. Then her brow furrowed, "Then what do you want to do to me?"

I pressed my lips together and ran my eyes all over her nearly bare chest. I kissed her lips softly and pulled back to look directly into her eyes. "I wanna taste you," I breathed, sounding completely desperate in the moment. "Can I please?"

Keegan went back to nibbling her lip and I'll be honest, it was driving me mad. "Will it hurt?" she squeaked.

I knelt between her thighs and shook my head. "I would never hurt you, Keegan. I swear."

"Okay…" she replied hesitantly.

I placed my hands on the front of her thighs and leaned over her. "It's just that...I've never done this before. And I want to...with you."

I couldn't contain my smile when her face lit up beautifully. "Yes," she sighed over and over again.

I reached back and pulled my shirt over my head. When I gripped my fingers inside the waistband of her leggings, she held her knees together tightly. "We can wait," I offered.

Keegan sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "It's just nerves," she laughed. "Go ahead."

I pulled the garment over her hips as I held her legs straight up in the air. When I tossed them aside, I realized I had pulled off her panties at the same time. Her hands flew to the apex of her thighs as she giggled nervously. "I wasn't expecting that."

I smiled down at her, parting her legs slowly as I held her ankles in front of my face. I knew she was nervous, but under that, I could sense how excited she was. And that turned me on more than anything else. I ran my hands down the back of her thighs, easing them wider until I could lower myself between them. I kissed and nibbled every square inch of skin I could reach, marveling at how soft she felt under my mouth. "Fuck, your body is perfect," I groaned as I peered over her arousal slicked mound, only an inch from my awaiting mouth.

I couldn't stop myself. I gave those glistening lips a quick kiss before asking one more time for permission. "Are you sure this is okay?"

She squeezed her eyes closed and nodded quickly. I slid in a little closer, lifting my finger to stroke her folds. I watched her face as my thumb brushed over her clit and her whole body jerked. "Damn, baby. I'm gonna have to hold you down so you don't hurt yourself," I joked.

"Stop teasing me, Paul," Keegan whined. She watched me press kisses all around her mound before she asked, "Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

I laughed. "You're my first victim." I curled one arm around her thigh and gave her one more seductive look. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for...oh!" she gasped when I lowered my mouth and pressed my flattened tongue to the seam of her sex. One quick flick and I was zeroing in on her clit, swollen and pink, peeking out from under her hood.

"Beautiful," I mumbled against her lips before sucking her skin between my teeth.

I knew I was headed in the right direction when I felt her hips bucking upward. Sensing she needed a bit more stimulation, I hesitantly slid a finger inside her, pausing when I felt her whole body tense. "Too much?" I whispered as I reluctantly lifted my head.

She pushed out a deep breath through her mouth and let her body relax. "I just...wasn't expecting it."

"I can stop," I offered as I pulled my finger back.

"Don't you dare," she whimpered, raising her head and peering down at me. "This feels so good."

I smiled and buried my face back where her hands guided me. I let her grip my hair and hold me in place when I found that special spot that had her hips lifting faster and made her heels dig into my back. "Oh, Paul," she cried softly as her thighs started quivering.

I pressed my finger in a little deeper, feeling some resistance but was too determined to make her come to question what it could be. She cried out painfully as her whole body seized. I smiled against her soaking wet sex, licking her clit until she begged me to stop. "Fuck, that was hot," I declared as I removed my finger from deep inside her and climbed up her body.

I brushed a hand up her chest, nestling my fingers between her breasts before leaning in to kiss her. Keegan pressed a hand to my chest. "There's blood," she whispered.

I looked down between us, seeing that my finger had left a bloody trail up her torso. "Oh, shit...I didn't...I mean...I didn't mean to hurt you."

Keegan just smiled as I moved to lie beside her. "I think it happened at the end. I felt some pressure but it was right when I climaxed so...it wasn't very painful," she explained, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

I popped her cherry...with my damn finger. God. How stupid could I be? I sat up and looked at the blood on my hand. "I shouldn't have done that. I should've known better… been more careful. Fuck! It's not like I didn't know you were a virgin." I glanced over my shoulder at her, eyes opened wide with curiosity over my outburst. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Keegan sat up and knelt beside me. "I'm perfect, I swear. You were perfect, Paul. Stop beating yourself up."

I let out a relieved breath before kissing Keegan softly on her temple. I cleaned her up with a towel and some water from my bag. She looked so exhausted...and satisfied. I pulled her into my arms and listened to her breathing slow down as she nestled close to me.

"I love you, Keegan. I love you so much," I whispered into the dark.

...

A/N: hello readers! Thanks for sticking with this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	21. 21 - About What Gets Me Up in the Mornin

**Honest: 21 - About What Gets Me Up in the Morning**

My body felt so heavy when I woke up. Before my eyes even opened, I stretched and sucked in a deep breath. My back was sore from lying on the hard ground and there was tenderness between my legs that wasn't horrible. In fact, it reminded me of last night and how it felt to have Paul looking up at me from between my legs.

He made me feel so good. I couldn't believe how badly he wanted to do that to me. It made me feel self-conscious at first, just being so exposed to him that way. But feeling his mouth on my skin and his finger inside me...wow.

I fell asleep so quickly afterwards that when I awoke during the night, I felt guilty for not offering to do anything for him. Poor Paul felt so bad about making me bleed that he kept convincing me he was fine and he didn't need me to take care of him.

But maybe this morning, I could convince him otherwise.

I opened my eyes slowly, taking in the sight of his near naked body. My whole body tingled as I smoothed my hand over his chest. Paul felt perfect under my fingers. I swirled my fingertip around his nipple, pausing to drag my fingernail over it. I watched the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly as he sighed deeply. I looked to see if his eyes had opened, but they hadn't.

I let my fingers crept lower, circling around his belly button and following his trail of hair, tiptoeing closer to the waistband of his bright red boxer briefs. I took a moment to admire the way his erection was pressing against the material, begging to be set free. I wanted to look at it, feast my eyes on it, figure out what it would take to make him explode.

I'd held him in my hand once, jerking him under his clothes until he released all over my fingers. It was the morning he had watched me touch myself. Just the memory of that had me flushing hotly. I never got to look at him that day. I just knew he was hard and I begged him to let me get him off.

I ran my palm down the length of him over his boxers and he sighed softly. I guessed he was still asleep, but he could always be playing me. When I squeezed him gently, his hips bucked and his abs tensed. As I peeled back his waistband, my skin prickled with anticipation. Somehow I knew he would wake up and stop me. He was always trying to keep me innocent.

I honestly thought I had seen nothing sexier than his chest...until I saw his hips. The deep v of muscle that wrapped around his hips just drew your eyes down lower. That tiny trail of hair led to a smattering of just a little more hair, that he obviously kept trimmed and under control. His cock bobbed in the air, just teasing me and making me want to touch it.

A small whimper escaped Paul's lips when I wrapped my fingers around him and slid my fist up and down. He was so hard and growing harder by the second. A few more strokes and suddenly a bead of clear liquid appeared at the tip and began to drip down the underside. I shifted my body around into a bridge position and angled my mouth over him. I hesitated for just a moment, still certain he would wake up and tell me to quit it.

A quick gasp escaped Paul's lips when my mouth engulfed him. I turned my head slightly, looking for his eyes but finding his chin tipped up and his eyes not visible to me. His moaning had me squirming and rubbing my thighs together. I took more and more of him into my mouth, gaining confidence with every stroke.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Paul's fingers gliding up the back of my thigh. "Is this a dream?" he murmured sleepily.

I held back my laughter as I sped up my movements, stroking him with one hand, while the other fondled his sac. "Fuck," he gasped as I took him deeper, sucked harder and felt his whole body begin to tense. "Keegan, oh fuck."

His release was so close that I couldn't help but be bewildered when he dragged me away with his hand cupped securely around my jaw. I never let go of him as he pulled my face to his and stared deeply into my eyes. The sound he made when his orgasm hit was unreal. His face contorted adorably, but he never took his eyes off of mine. I felt him pulse and explode in my hand, covering my breasts and his chest at the same time.

I didn't even get a chance to say a word to Paul before he gripped me tightly and rolled us over. "What the fuck are you trying to do to me?" he breathed as he pinned me underneath him.

"Paul," I grinned, trying to push him off of me. "You're getting me all sticky."

He lifted his body away from mine, looking down between us and swearing under his breath. "You're naked."

"Is that a problem?" I asked innocently as my fingers dove into his hair.

Paul bit down on his lower lip and growled. "No, it's fine," he replied tersely before rolling off me.

"Are you mad at me?" I mused softly as I snuggled against his side and peered up at him.

"We need to get back. Your dad is gonna kill me if we stay gone much longer." I watched in confusion as his jaw clenched and he stared up at the roof of the tent.

I didn't know what I did wrong or why Paul was suddenly keeping his distance. It was definitely not the reaction I expected after giving him a blow job for the first time. Fuck this. I slipped on a pair of sandals and crawled over to the zippered opening of the tent.

"Where do you think you're going?" Paul asked gruffly, sitting up to tug on my ankle.

"Why do you care?" I groused. "You don't want me anyway."

"Keegan…"

I didn't wait to hear what else he had to say before I bolted out of the tent and down to the stream where we used to catch frogs when we were little. Paul could be heard still cursing and fumbling around in the tent as I fled. Maybe I was being a chicken shit by not confronting him and finding out why he didn't want me, but hell, rejection hurts.

"Dammit, Keegan, wait!" he called from the top of the hill as I slid out of my sandals and stepped into the water. I was careful not to slip on the smooth stones littering the creek bed. The water wasn't deep here, not enough to swim in. But it was clean and that was just what I needed.

I waded out a bit farther, to where I was now knee deep. I splashed water on my bare chest and stomach, washing away any evidence of what I had done in the tent with Paul. "I can't believe you walked down here naked," Paul panted as he finally caught up to me. "Shit, this water is cold."

I laughed and splashed a little his way. It hit him mid-thigh and he sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh…you…"

"Take 'em off," I urged, glancing down at his bright red boxer briefs. Paul didn't take his eyes off mine as I continued to wet my skin and wash it all away.

"I'm good," he scowled, bending down to scoop more water into his hands.

Paul gasped when I reached over to tug on his waistband and he gripped my wrist to stop me. "I don't wanna be fucked with," he growled.

I shrugged and glanced away, trying not to let him see how hurt I was. "Fine. I'll see you back at the house then," I replied tersely.

When I pulled on my wrist to get away, Paul tightened his grip. "I don't want you to go," he mumbled lowly.

"And you don't want me...so here we are." My voice cracked at the end and I tried to swallow back that enormous lump in my throat.

"Keegan, baby, don't," Paul sighed when I turned away from him. "I _do _want you. That's the damn problem."

I sniffled a little when he pulled me to his chest, using my free hand to push him away. "I just got cleaned up," I whined.

"I guess I'll have to get you dirty again," he smirked. When I tipped my head back to look at him, he gripped me around my waist and lifted me up. I hooked my legs around his hips and held on tightly as he carried us back to the bank and sat on a tree stump.

"Paul," I weakly argued when he folded my legs around his back and held me tightly to his chest. "Let me go."

"No," Paul scowled. "You're not running away this time. I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen."

When I twisted my body and tried to climb off his lap, Paul forcefully held me close. "I'm not fucking around, Keegan. Just sit here for a minute."

I sulked and hated the fact that I was so turned on by his dominant side. Once I stopped squirming, Paul reached up to cradle my face in his hands. "I do want you. Shit, I always want you. You just… surprised me with that wake-up call this morning."

I bit back a smile, thinking about how much I enjoyed exploring his body and the way he reacted to me. Well...the way he reacted while he was still sleeping. "Then why did you stop me?" I pouted. "Was it that bad?"

"Bad?" he scoffed. "There is never anything bad about the way you touch me, Kee."

My shoulders slouched and I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his. "Then why did you stop me? Why did you act so cold afterwards?"

Paul sighed deeply, lifting his hands into my hair and guiding me to look into his eyes. "Well for one, you shocked me...in a good way. For two, I was so close to coming in your mouth and it really is good manners to ask first. I was just so close to the edge, I didn't think I would have time for that particular discussion. So that leads me to my third point. About why I was trying to calm down, that's what I was doing, not being cold to you. I'm sorry I wasn't more appreciative about your wake-up call."

"Did I…" I paused to glance at my lap, then continued, "did I do it wrong?"

"Oh hell no," Paul chuckled as he hugged me tight. "It was all just _too _good. And you were...you know...naked."

Now I chuckled. "Yeah I was, because that's how you left me when you took off my pants."

When I leaned forward to rub my nose against Paul's, he rolled his eyes. "I know that. I just wasn't expecting you to still be. You seemed so nervous being naked in front me, I guess I just assumed you would cover up the moment you woke up."

I bit down on my lower lip as I considered my response. "I mean, yeah, I was nervous to be naked in front of you last night, but you made me feel at ease and you've already seen it all so…"

Paul sighed and shook his head. "But have you seen yourself? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to resist you?"

"Paul," I blushed. "It can't be _that _challenging."

He scoffed dramatically. "Look at this," Paul lowered his eyes as his hands captured my breasts, cupped them gently as his thumbs brushed my nipples and forced them to harden painfully. "Look how beautiful your skin is...especially next to mine."

I smiled as his big, ruddy complected hands held me perfectly in his cupped palm. He continued to catch my hardened buds between his forefinger and thumb. "Look how your pink nipples darken when I play with them. Fuck, that turns me on," he sighed breathily. He lifted both breasts together, mashing them tightly, and allowing his tongue to peek out and taste the tips.

I moaned softly as my back arched, forcing him even closer, to take more of me into his mouth. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his tongue and how it teased one nipple and then the other.

Paul was right. The contrast of my pale, alabaster skin against his gorgeous tawny complexion was quite the sight. We looked like day and night, coffee and cream.

"I want you," I blurted out breathlessly. My mind and my mouth suddenly had a disconnect. Was I really ready for this? Or was I letting my needy body call the shots?

Paul gazed up at me, his tongue still hanging out after tasting my skin. His eyes went wide as he pulled back and released that perfect hold on my chest. "Say what now?" he gasped shakily. "I thought we were waiting."

I pushed my fingers into his hair and smiled widely. "I never said that. I've waited long enough. Let's go."

Paul looked dumbfounded as I rose up from his lap, grabbed his hand and pulled him up to stand. We climbed that big hill and tumbled back inside the tent together. "You've got condoms, right?"

…..

A/N: a short one but it was too long as is so I split it in two. There will be another part shortly.


	22. 22 - About the Rejection

**22 - About the Rejection**

_I pushed my fingers into his hair and smiled widely. "I never said that. I've waited long enough. Let's go."_

_Paul looked dumbfounded as I rose up from his lap, grabbed his hand and pulled him up to stand. We climbed that big hill and tumbled back inside the tent together. "You've got condoms, right?"_

I cocked my head at Paul as he still looked a little dazed. "Baby...condoms?" I prompted, reaching into the front pocket of the bag he packed. "Here they are."

I laid my body out on the sleeping bag and held out the little foil packet for Paul to take. "You want me, don't you?" I clarified as he moved to hover over me, still not touching me and looking very unsure.

I watched as his shaky hand reached for the packet and held it between his fingers. He stared at it for a moment before shoving it back in the bag where I found it. I could feel the tears beginning to prickle as they welled up in my eyes. I refused to cry because he was rejecting me. When Paul reached for me, I swatted his hand away and scooted back from him. "You are unbelievable!" I gasped. "What was all that shit down by the creek? You telling me how beautiful we look together and how hard it is for you to resist me. What a crock of shit!" I exclaimed, all while digging out clothes from the bag he had packed and shoving them on as fast as I could.

Paul furrowed his brow as he watched me put my shoes back on and crawl out of the tent. "Keegan, wait!"

I was too pissed to listen, too humiliated to take a second to let him explain. My ego was bruised. I was so certain that he would say yes and we could have this moment, but obviously I made a mistake.

"Good morning, Keegan," my father's voice boomed the moment I stepped inside the cabin. "Come sit down and join us."

I sighed dramatically. "I'm really in no mood to do battle again this morning, Dad. If you still wanna leave, then I'll pack my bags and we can go, but please...I can't stand all this fighting."

My mom approached me slowly, her eyes full of concern. "You want to go home?"

"No," I groaned. "I want to stay and enjoy our trip, but Dad…"

"I made a mistake."

I looked over at my father as he sat across from me in a chair. I slumped onto the love seat with my mother beside me and nodded to Paul's parents who sat on the couch. When my father opened his mouth to speak again, Paul came bounding through the patio door, out of breath and bewildered at the sight of us all together in the living room. "Paul," my father commented tersely, "You should join us. I have some things to say to you as well."

Paul walked around to stand next to me, then sunk down on the arm of the love seat. I felt his hand snake around to my back and even though I was still mad at him, I appreciated his support and leaned into him for comfort.

"I just wanted to let you both know that we all talked until late into the night about this situation between the two of you," my father began.

"I'm not walking away from Keegan. Not unless she doesn't want me anymore. There's no way you can change my mind," Paul countered defiantly. I could feel him tensing up beside me so I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him close to me.

"Just slow down, Paul," his father interjected. "Just let Russell get this off his chest."

My mom got up and crossed the room, moving to stand beside my father. That action told me whatever he was about to say, she supported it. "I shouldn't have spoken so harshly to you, Keegan. To either of you," Dad paused to glance at Paul. I could see how hard this was for him to say. Paul moved to sit beside me, wrapping both of his arms around me in a protective manner.

"I shouldn't have lashed out at you, Paul. You kept your distance from Keegan and respected my wishes. But I realize I was wrong to ever keep you two apart. Our families have been so close that it is only natural that you would fall for each other. You care about Keegan, I can see that. Anyone can. And I guess I was just trying to hold onto my little girl for a while longer." Dad hesitated and took a deep breath. "I love you, Keegan. And I trust you to take care of my baby, Paul. I won't stand in your way."

Paul gave me a quick squeeze before everyone stood up and I moved across the room to hug my dad. "And maybe we should think about getting Keegan on some birth control?" Cindy suggested gently to my mother. I was mortified.

"Mom!" Paul gasped. "We aren't even having sex."

"Yet," my mom and Cindy said in unison.

Our dads shook their heads and wandered off to the kitchen. "Maybe Paul should go get tested?" my mom urged with her head cocked.

"Oh my god," Paul groaned. "Please stop."

My head dropped into my hands in frustration. "You guys have nothing to worry about. Paul doesn't even want me like that so...it doesn't even matter," I choked out before turning away and bounding up the stairs.

I felt like my head could explode at any moment. I appreciated my father's apology and acceptance but it didn't make up for the fact that Paul had rejected me. I grabbed my robe and bag of toiletries and decided to hole up in the bathroom in a giant bubble bath. I loved the big tub in our bathroom on the second floor and I had yet to indulge in one since we had gotten here.

I don't know how long I had been soaking in the tub when the door eased open and I heard Paul's voice. "Can I talk to you?"

"Go away," I sighed, not even bothering to open my eyes.

"We need to talk."

I sighed and when I opened my mouth to respond, I felt his lips on mine, his hand gripping the back of my neck and his body lowering on top of mine. "Paul," I whimpered against his mouth.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and turned us both so I was on top. His hands ran up and down my back, pausing to squeeze my ass and forcing me to squeal into his mouth. When we backed off from the kiss, we were both breathless. Paul wouldn't let me move away from him, holding me tightly against him.

"Are you still mad at me?" he smirked and I swear I wanted to smack him because he knew exactly how cute he was in that moment.

"Yes." I wriggled out of his arms, turning so that my back leant against his chest. "I don't even know why you're in here. You can see I'm naked."

"I needed to talk to you...and you being naked is just a bonus."

I cocked my head a little when I felt his lips on my shoulder, kissing and licking my skin. "Were you hoping I'd make an ass out of myself again and you could reject me?"

Paul pulled me tightly to him, his arm wrapped securely around my waist as his other hand cupped my jaw. I felt his mouth on my ear and his tone was unmistakable. He was angry. "I didn't reject you. I want you. I always have."

"But you didn't…"

"I want it to be special, Keegan." His breath was hot on my neck as he spoke. His hands smoothed across my stomach and down lower, making it hard for me to focus on his words. "We've waited a long time for this, haven't we, Keegan?"

I nodded absently as his fingers tiptoed down the front of my thighs, close but not close enough. Not touching me where I needed him. "I've thought about it for so long," he cooed into my ear as his fingers dipped between my thighs and squeezed the sensitive skin there. "I want it to be perfect for you. I wanna give you the best first time a girl could ever imagine, Kee. You deserve that. You deserve the absolute best."

I was melting against him, trying to formulate an argument, a word, anything that wouldn't betray how badly I wanted his fingers inside me. "Paul," I moaned, lifting my hips and twisting them to get his fingers where I needed them.

When I felt him glide up the seam of my sex and land on my clit, I pushed my head back against his chest and groaned. "Is this what you wanted?" Paul smirked into my ear. "You should have just asked me and I would have been more than...fuck."

Paul didn't have much to say when I shifted around and gripped his full length, gliding my hand up and down and loving the face he made when I did. We got lost in each other, his thumb circling my clit as his finger pressed inside me.

I tumbled so quickly, all caught up in all the emotions of the day. He wanted me...all of me. And I wanted him just as much.

….

After we got cleaned up, we left the bathroom together, me in my robe and Paul with a towel wrapped around his lower half. He pulled me toward his room when I tried to escape into mine. He walked us back to his bed, stopping when the back of his knees hit the mattress. "Come here," he coaxed me with a hungry look in his eyes like we just hadn't both gotten off.

I gazed down at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. He pushed my robe open and brushed his lips across my stomach. "Come on, Paulie, let's go get some food. I'm hungry."

"Me too," Paul growled as his head moved lower and I could feel his breath between my legs.

"Oh no no no," I countered, gripping his chin and bringing his eye contact back to mine. "You can't do this to me. I need food," I whined.

Paul sighed but finally agreed when his stomach growled ferociously. We went our separate ways and met up in the kitchen. I was so grateful that our moms had left us a generous supply of breakfast foods and all we had to do was heat it up. When I held up a bite of French toast for Paul to taste, he moaned in delight, causing me to plant the biggest kiss on his lips.

"Good morning."

I giggled when Paul pulled away from me, smiling at Embry when he came into view. "Hi! Want some food?"

Embry nodded and forced a smile. "Save me some. I need a shower first."

I glanced at Paul when Embry disappeared and Paul already knew what I was thinking. "Go ahead, baby. Go talk to him."

I caught up with Embry when he reached the top of the stairs and stepped inside his room. His back was to me when he tore off his shirt and threw it in the chair. "Hey," I said quietly from the doorway. "Is everything okay?"

Embry shrugged. "It's great. I just need a shower." He kept his back to me as he collected some clean clothes and his body wash.

When he stood in front of me, I searched for his gaze and hated that things weren't different between us. "I'm sorry, Embry. I never meant for…"

"Just don't, Keegan. I'm fine. I'll probably just go home later. No offense but this hasn't been the most fun for me. And now you guys are sleeping together and I feel left out."

I cupped Embry's jaw and gave him a small smile. "I'm not. We're not. But that doesn't even matter. We're all friends and I promise we can make this more fun for you."

Embry shook his head. "Please don't bother. You don't need to babysit me, Keegan."

I lifted my arm to trap Embry when he tried to retreat from me. "Just let me make this up to you...please?"

Embry glanced down at me with his jaw tense and his eyes running all over my body. I felt stupid for trying to block his way and being flirty when he just wanted to get away from me. He was too good to deserve being ignored by us and I couldn't keep him from leaving if he really wanted to go. Before I could give it another thought, Embry lifted me by my waist and put me back down in the hallway. He didn't say a word, but his eyes said it all. He wasn't over me. I watched him retreat into the bathroom, shutting the door without giving me another glance.

….

While Paul and I finished our breakfast, we discussed some things we could do to include Embry. We finally made it to the lake, spending the day on Paul's dad's boat. We made time to swim and packed a picnic too. In the evenings, we sat outside and talked around the fire. Paul entertained Embry with stories of stupid stuff we did when we were kids.

At night when everyone was asleep, I sneaked into Paul's bed where we kissed and cuddled and talked endlessly about when we would finally have sex. The buildup was making me nervous. Sometimes I just wanted to get it over with so I wouldn't be a disappointment to Paul. But he kept insisting we wait, so we did.

On the last day, I was so conflicted. I was eager to return home but this trip had been so amazing, I wasn't sure I was ready for it to end. I found myself wandering into Embry's room as he packed up his bag. I sat on his bed and watched him fold his clothes carefully. "Did you have fun?" I asked as I poked him in the ribs.

Embry tried to bite back a smile with his gaze not quite meeting mine. "Yeah, I had fun."

"When we go back to school, I'm making it my mission to find you a girl. I'll set you up with someone amazing and then you can double date with me and Paul."

Embry scoffed. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen."

"Are you doubting my matchmaking abilities?" I teased, smiling brightly as Embry stood over me.

"No," he scowled. "I'm doubting how serious Paul is about being seen with you at school."

"He's not like that," I argued. "He isn't afraid to be seen with me."

"Yeah, right."

I stood up in front of Embry, refusing to back down or be intimidated. Paul had earned my loyalty and Embry would just have to deal with it. "I trust Paul. He asked me to go to prom with him and I said yes."

"You wanna know what I think?" he pressed with a little smirk on his face that I felt was very outside his character.

"What?" I blinked up at him, noticing he had stepped even closer to me.

He lifted his hand and cupped the back of my neck as his gaze dropped to my mouth and then back to my eyes. "I think you don't know what the hell you want." Embry paused and licked his lips, lowering his face closer to mine. "I think you still want me. I think you wouldn't even try to stop me if I kissed you right now."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. All this time I had managed to keep my distance from Embry and those feelings had died off. At least I thought they had. Maybe it was only because he had stopped pursuing me? I didn't know but at this moment, I was frozen. I didn't lean in, but I didn't back off either.

"I love Paul," I sputtered nervously.

"But you still want me," Embry gloated, ghosting his lips over mine. "Don't you?"

I leaned away from him, narrowing my eyes at him. "Why are you doing this?"

Embry gripped my hips and pressed his forehead to mine. "Because I'm tired of you following me around all the time. Because I'm tired of 'being just friends' when I want so much more than that. I'm tired of pretending like I don't want you anymore." He raised his head and looked deeply into my eyes. "And I'm tired of you acting like I never meant anything to you."

"Embry," I sighed. "You know that's not true…"

When he leaned in to kiss me, I pressed my hands to his chest and gave him a firm no. "This isn't you," I whimpered. "You've never acted this way before."

Embry turned his back on me and began pulling open all the empty dresser drawers. "Actually I have. But last time, Paul stopped me. I told you then I could be an asshole. And maybe that's what I should have done from the beginning. I mean...shit, it worked for Paul. He got the girl and he's been an asshole the whole time."

My mouth hung open as I stared at him, wanting to argue but knowing he was right. The good guy lost, just like he thought he would. But I still wanted Embry to be happy, even if it wasn't with me.

"Are we ready to head out?"

We both looked at Paul and nodded. "My bag is ready for the car."

Paul glanced at me and then back to Embry. "I'll grab it and see you both down there then?"

I nodded and waited for Paul to leave before approaching Embry cautiously. I stood close to him, watching him fiddle with the socks in his hand while he refused to make eye contact with me. I tugged on his shirt sleeve and leaned in closely.

"You wanna know what I think?" I didn't wait for him to respond before continuing. "I think you're _pretending_ to be an asshole, because we both know you're not. I also think you're scared and it's easier to push me away than admit how you feel. But Embry…" I paused when he looked down at me. "I still love you. I know I hurt you and I don't deserve you, but there's still a place in my heart for you...if you want there to be."

Embry just stared at me as I pushed up on my tiptoes and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. "You'll always be my friend."

When I turned to walk away from him, I heard him swear. "Don't go," he urged. I whirled back around to find him standing before me with his arms spread wide. I stepped into his embrace and sighed a deep breath of relief. "Why are you so damn hard to get over?" he mumbled into my hair as we continued to cling to each other.

I laughed and pulled away. "Why are you so damn irresistible?" I teased, poking a finger into the dimple in his cheek.

Embry squeezed me one more time before finishing his packing and following me downstairs. When I saw Paul leaning against the Suburban, I launched myself into his arms and held him tightly. "Let's go home," I sighed into his ear.

...

A/N: I told you there was more! The next chapter will bring even more drama. Thanks for reading!


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